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ped tried to force me to ff

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
2 weeks ago I went to a place called Karitane where they help you w/ BF'ing and settling babies and toddlers. I went because a midwife suggested it and friends that had gone encouraged it as well. My dh & I thought maybe this would be good for me to get some rest and focus just on the twins since we had 6 other dc and I thought maybe I could learn something new or something I hadnt thought of before. I went in on Monday (its a week long program). Went I got there I BF the bubs before I saw the ped. (everyone sees the ped on staff). The midwifes commented on how well we BF! When I saw the ped he just looked at them (did NOT examine them) and said we needed to start ff since they werent at BW yet, even thought they had gained 100g that week. They were 6 weeks and only 75g away from BW. I told him that I would not consent because we had just seen a ped that said they were fine and he was giving them a few more weeks to get back to their BW. He immediately started using scare tactics to get me to use formula. He said the brain was the first to go and that they would lose IQ if I didnt give formula. He said their skin was motley and one had cold hands and feet (the room was air conditioned and she wasnt in a blanket). He said I didnt have enough milk and the babies were starving. He wanted to talk to my dh and we scheduled a conference call the next day. After the ped visit the staff changed their minds about my ability to BF. Every time I BF they hovered over me and kept commenting that my supply was low and the babies got sleepy to quickly. To say the least it was VERY stressful. Tuesday morning I started expressing after every feed since I supposedly didnt have enough milk. My DH came for the conference call and he did GREAT!! He got the ped to say that nothing was presenting itself that the formula was just to prevent anything from happening. At one point he got really upset w/ the ped and demanded to know why he would say that they were loosing their IQ. My dh told him that we would not consent to formula unless it was medically necessary and we would get a second opinion from our ped. He asked to talk to our ped and we agreed and gave him the number. It was very stressful for us and I was so relieved to have the full support of my dh. I thought about leaving that day, but I stayed because I had gone there to focus on my babies and nothing else. So I thought I would stick w/ it and see my ped when we left. Wednesday morning they weighed the babies at 7:30 am and one gained nothing and the other gained 20g. The ped flipped that they hadnt gained weight in "3 days". It was actually only "30 hours" because they didnt weigh until 1:30pm on Monday. They also said that they werent having enough wet nappies. They were changing them CONSTANTLY. Before and after feeds and in between. They went through a whole pkg of nappies in 2 days! They changed them so much that the nurse said we needed diaper cream as their little bums were becoming irritated. So that morning the ped bursts into my room and demands to know our final decision on formula and I tell him I will NOT consent. He said that our ped completely agreed w/ him and he was going to present our case before 8 other ped that morning and they would all agree w/ him. He came back a little over an hour and said everybody agreed w/ him and that it was critical to give our babies formula now. I told him I disagreed and would still not consent to formula. He leaves the room very upset and I tell my nurse that I am leaving and my dh will pick me up after school. The ped comes back in the room and says that docs(cps) has been called and are on their way to escort me to the hospital. He leaves and I burst into tears saying "its not fair, all I want to do is BF my twins, that is whats best for them". He comes back in the room and rehashes all the reasons he is right and says in 6 months i'll see how silly im being and that sometimes they have to turn parents into docs(cps) to make them come to their senses. At that point all I can think of is Im going to be separated from my twins and it will be like the nightmare we went through while in nicu over BF'ing. I ask him if we can give a bottle now, that I will consent to formula. He says its too late hes done all the paperwork and I have to go to the hospital now. So the nurses help me pack and instead of docs(cps) being on their way we are told that we have to be at the hospital by 5pm or police will come to our house. My dh gets there and we leave and drop off the other dc at friends house and go to the hospital. The hospital was AWESOME! They admitted us and immediately dismissed to docs(cps) case, we werent even assigned a caseworker. The next day they run blood tests checking for anything that could be wrong. The ped says he would like to supplement w/ formula but is fine w/ us EBF'ing. All the tests came back fine. There was NEVER anything wrong w/ them. We met an awesome LC while there and she went nuts when she heard our story. She is working w/ us now as we file medical complaints against the ped. They were weighed that day and had gained 150g in less than a week!! We left the next day! The hospital was so much more relaxing, no more nurses hovering over me! We had a room to ourselves on the pediatric floor. We saw our ped this week and the girls have gained 200g this week! He apologized for what had happened and said he didnt think it was handled appropriately and he is writing a letter to them as well.

I hope this is understandable. Its the first time Ive written it out and I know its kind of all over the place. Im shaking just writing it. It was a very hard and traumatic week. Im still having a bit of trouble processing everything and its been really hard trying to write it out on paper, Ive left out tons of stuff. Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 11
Thread Starter 

update

Im still in shock over what happened. I had heard such good things about karitane. But I do understand this is not the normal outcome at karitane, I just happened to get the wacko ped.

This is our plan to encourage changes so that this hopefully never happens again, or at least this ped will think twice before acting like this again.

1) file complaint w/ Karitane against ped (our ped is also sending a letter!!)
2) file complaint w/ Health Care Complaints Commission
3) notifying the media (advised by our LC)
4) Our LC is also filing a case review against the ped

Any suggestions about this is more than welcome. I really struggle w/ this as I am very much not a confrontational person. But I am so angry at this doctor. He humiliated me and took away my dignity.

I just hope that this causes change and is not classified as "within the scope of his profession".
post #3 of 11
That sounds like the most horrible and also bizarre experience. What could have been really going on? I'm amazed you were so strong and thank God your husband kept his head. I think it is a good thing you are filing a complaint, and if you feel up to it I would try to spread this around. I can't imagine what would happen to a mom less sure of herself.
post #4 of 11
What a horrible doctor! ::: I'm glad you got it all figured out though and the hospital was so great! Sounds like you are doing great with your BF after all!
post #5 of 11


Congratulations on your babies!
post #6 of 11
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job.



& Congratulations on your babes!
post #7 of 11
so glad to hear aa good outcome!
post #8 of 11
I've known lots of moms who have had exactly the same experience as you in those mothercraft units. It's really sad because they go there in good faith, figuring that they will get help and support, and quickly learn that they are being scruitnized. There is always the threat of cps. Altlhough you say your ped is writing a letter, where exactly was s/he when all of this was happening to you?

I am so sorry that this happened to you.
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
He was in Tazmania when I was at karitane. The other ped called him. I dont know the details of that conversation, but the k.ped was supposed to call him back about what was going on and never did. I got a phone call from my ped when we were on our way to the hospital. He was upset w/ what was happening and the k.ped hadnt called him back and he was out of the loop. I know I have the full support of my ped. He acknowledges the reasons I dont want to give formula and respects us.
post #10 of 11
I am so glad there are numerous letters being written and complaints being filed. That ped NEEDS to get consequences for this. Glad you AND your husband were so strong and knowledgable - just think of how many other poor babies were put on formula unnnecessarily because other parents weren't able to stand up to his bullying.
post #11 of 11


We went through something similar, though it never went that far, it just kept going on for months. Our Plunket (Well baby) nurse was really pushing formula (the last time she called, she told me I had to "stop being stupid, and feed her formula now!"). She also kept talking about brain damage. I "fired" her and have seen the LC and nurse at the Plunket Karitane Family Centre instead (These centres are different from the Karitane in Oz, there is only the LC and nurse, and only open two days a week). They were amazingly supportive during a really difficult time. However, DD's slow gain worried them, and they wanted us to see a specialist ped. We got an appointment (referred by our excellent GP), but it was a month away, and a week or two later, the LC told us that she thought we should go to the hospital to see a ped there, with the emergency assessment team. Ironically, we had our bad experience there. They threatened to hospitalize or happy, strong, healthy (but slow gain) 3-month old DD and put a tube up her nose! We got three days to get her weight up substantially, or it would be out of our hands. They were actually terrible at the hospital. The ped, a young woman, said some really stupid things (We were asked why DD wasn't vaxed yet, and I said we thought she was too little, she said "but we immunize the tiny preemies in the ward", and also, after recognizing DD and DH, as she had been ped on call during DD's complicated birth: "We never remember mothers" : , lastly "Most mums don't have enough milk for their babies at this age" : ).

We were lucky, I had a friend with a freezer full of breastmilk who had offered it to us, and we had asked her a week or so before to take a blood test. The result came back that day, and DD was fed her milk through an SNS - loads, over the weekend. My GP prescribed Domperidone for me, and we ended up supplementing donated milk, in smaller amounts (decreasing by about 50 ml every week), for 3 months.

And we saw the specialist ped two weeks later. He did want me to wean and give her formula entirely - because he thought that would be easier for me! (Hey, not having to use the SNS, donated milk, pump, switch feeding, long, scheduled feeds etc, in effect, feeding on demand would be easier!!!!)

DH and I talked about it after the hospital episode. We decided that if it ever came to it again, we would call in family members who are lawyers.

The lack of respect for parents is scary.

The specialist ped told us, in any case, that starving an infant doesn't cause brain damage - very simply, because the brain catches up, as soon as there is enough food again. In extreme cases, the brain may stop growing, and development may halt, until there is sufficient nutrition. I asked him specifically, because I worried about what people had said about it. Measure and chart your babies had circumference. That matters much more than the weight.

Stay strong, and work with a good LC!

All the best!

Oh, pm me if you want!
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