I knew I was going to like this book, and that it was going to help me, when I read the first example the author used from his daughter Abigail. He poses the question of how to respond after she didn't do what she said she would. Carry on with the evening plan as normal or impose a "consequence"? Considering the "consequence" action he says (pg 12), "What's more, I have to admit that it would have been satisfying on some level for me to lay down the law because I was seriously annoyed by Abigail's defiance."
I can so relate to that feeling! It rises up in me and I'm almost unable to back off, especially if I'm already not in a good mood for whatever reason. I would consider myself to be a GD parent, but when I related to that feeling so much I realized that this book was going to challenge and help me a lot!
The important ideas in this chapter for me are:
*As Super Glue Mommy said,
Originally Posted by Super Glue Mommy
...the important message in the first chapter is that its not about whether or not you love your child unconditionally, its about whether or not THEY know you love them unconditionally.
*It's what kids are learning(hearing) that's important, not what you think you are teaching(telling) them.
*(pg 15) "Children are not pets to be trained, nor are they computers, programmed to respond predictably to an input. They act this way rather than that way for many different reasons, some of which may be hard to tease apart. But we can't just ignore those reasons and respond only to the effects (that is, the behaviors).
Question: This is my first online book group discussion. Anything newbies like me need to know?