Many lifestyles / many realitiesThis is a good discussion. I myself, have had many doubts about this. I have had only one serious relationship, and a couple of shorter ones that didn't evolve. My son, however, has experiences a lot of changes, and people coming and going. We have had sveveral roommates, some are still friends, some are far away. Ds bonded with some and misses them a lot. I have had friends that were very involved in my son's life for a while, then suddenly disappeared, lost interest or been too caught up in something else. This has been hard to explain to my son. Fortunately, most of these people do come back into our lives. With boyfriends, my one serious one did sleep over when my son was younger, but would only be here after ds went to bed, and then would leave before we awoke. A couple of times, he came over to hang with all of us, and I'd ask if he wanted to sleep over, we'd all say good night, and my son and I would retire to our room. I never called him my boyfriend, and would not show much physical affection to him in front of my son. Personally, I can't imagine progressing in a relationship without seeing this man interract with my ds. For this reason, I have a couple of times introduced new men to my son as friends, just like any new friend he meets. In one case, I reaally regretted it, they got a long wonderfully, only saw each other a couple of times, but then the relationship only lasted a few months. I haven't talked to my son about it, and am not sure if he misses this man. I don't think they'd really createda bond. In contrast, the longer relationship I had was with a man having all kinds of problems, and though I loved him, and he was fantastic with my ds, I couldn't imagine commiting long term. He did 'dissappear' for medical reasons, my son would ask for him, and I'd explain in simple terms, he has now come back into our life, a lot healthier, and we are seeing each other again. My son absolutely loves hanging out wiht him. This man, however, is someone I've known for years, and even if it doesn't work out for us, I believe he will stay in my son's life as a freind no matter what.
But how can we know what will happen with anything?
What about roommates, friends, relatives that move away. I worry that my son has learned early that life is inconsistent, and people you need and love are not always there for you. But that is part of life, and witht he right guidaance, as some have siad here, it is all an education. Still, I have my doubts.