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LDS Moms and Pops- Spring/Summer '09 Edition (All Are Welcome!!) - Page 5

post #81 of 100
Hi ladies.

I sure am having a hard time with this no-more-babies thing. I feel okay about it sometimes but then it hits me hard, like right now, and I just want to die. I'm trying not to be mad at God but that's like my default position when things go wrong in my life and it's so hard.

Anyway, I live in Utah and have been wanting to take Toby to the temple to walk around the grounds. Do you think that's an appropriate activity for a 20 month old? He's not really comprehending very much yet, so I don't know what I could say to explain it, but I'd at least like to take him to the temple once a month. I think it would be good for me and him.

Kari, thanks for posting about your sealing! I want so badly to be sealed to DH and DS. We are just so lazy... I really gotta get my act together. Also I think once church changes to afternoon it will be easier... we are so not morning people
post #82 of 100
Kris, I would totally take a LO to the temple grounds. You see families all the time, at big and small temples (don't know which one is your temple). The LO's can feel the spirit--sometimes people have a FHE there, or a family outing on Sat or Sun afternoon or something. You could read a book with pictures, or just talk about Jesus and your family.

HIT--I actually prefer morning church--but my kids are morning people and so by afternoon they're a mess (naptime).
post #83 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by KariM View Post
We're sealed!!

DH and I took out our endowments this past Friday evening and on Saturday we were sealed and our daughters were sealed to us.

The temple was the.most.spiritual.event of my life. People said it would be, but being the skeptic I am I didn't believe them. As soon as we left I asked DH when he thought we might be able to manage another temple trip.

Congratulations! I don't come here often enough, so I just saw this.
post #84 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisis View Post
Hi ladies.

I sure am having a hard time with this no-more-babies thing. I feel okay about it sometimes but then it hits me hard, like right now, and I just want to die. I'm trying not to be mad at God but that's like my default position when things go wrong in my life and it's so hard.

Anyway, I live in Utah and have been wanting to take Toby to the temple to walk around the grounds. Do you think that's an appropriate activity for a 20 month old? He's not really comprehending very much yet, so I don't know what I could say to explain it, but I'd at least like to take him to the temple once a month. I think it would be good for me and him.

Kari, thanks for posting about your sealing! I want so badly to be sealed to DH and DS. We are just so lazy... I really gotta get my act together. Also I think once church changes to afternoon it will be easier... we are so not morning people
In our stake they encourage us to take a trip with our children to the temple grounds at least once a year and let our children touch the outside of the temple. I think 20 months is a great time to start making trips to and teaching about the temple.
post #85 of 100
We all knew it was coming, but I’m sorry to announce that my daughter, Emma Lane, was delivered still last Sunday, October 25th. Those of you unaware of our situation, our baby had trisomy 18 and had a slight chance of making it full term and even then death is inevitable.

She was carried in the womb for 30 weeks.
1 lb. 3 oz., 12 inches

Our experience with NILMDTS was amazing, and I am glad such an organization exists. Spread the word. The more people that know about it, the more people it can help.

Thank you for all your thoughts and support.
post #86 of 100
Thread Starter 
Angela Such an amazing spirit born to such amazing parents!
post #87 of 100
Angela, I'm so sorry.
post #88 of 100
Does anyone know if the husband/wife ballroom dancers on So You Think You Can Dance this season are students at BYU or otherwise LDS?
post #89 of 100
Angela, I am so sorry s I haven't been on here for a very long time so I didn't even know that you were pregnant. We had some friends in college who went through a similar experience.
post #90 of 100

Please help me soften my heart

I have had some recent experiences lately with this economy and dh being the employment specialist that have made me a bit crusty. We have so thankfully been blessed with dh's job and its stability right now so I am very appreciative of that. In the past year+ there have been several families in our ward as I'm sure as there have been in other wards who have been unemployed and receiving fast offering funds to help them until they find a new job. And while I'm sure the majority of them are not like this I have known/know some families that I feel like really take advantage of the f.o.s by having no initiative to get a job or misuse the funds (eg having a catered b-day party for their 7 yr old daughter). Granted the latter was a fairly new convert but it really irritates me and I'm having a hard time frankly feeling like I want to even give very much fast offering and not put it away into our savings. I'm working with a single mom who has 3 small children and she is overwhelmed I think and not thinking clearly but as a vt'er we watch her children so she can job hunt but she just sits at our houses and surfs the internet vs actually having some interviews set up or knocking doors. She mentioned that she kind of likes being home with her kids, which I totally understand, but it's not feasible right now. She balks at spending gas money to drive around to interviews or to go to the employment center but then drives 1 1/2 hrs to her mother's house for trunk or treat or to the temple 3 times a week (2 1/2 hours each way). I know that the temple is good and it's helpful to her morale but it's just frustrating that she can't see the forest for the trees.

OK, so I hear some callousness in myself which is what's so annoying. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to draw the line in helping her to help herself and not letting it turn into a take take situation which I feel it becoming whether it's her daughters taking stuff home from my house without her saying no (that only happened once before I decided to politely put my foot down) or sitting on my computer all morning/coming late so my time is stretched out into time that I hadn't planned on. She's totally undermining herself and it's hard to see. I think it's a good experience for me to learn more compassion and also how to deal with something like this b/c I actually get too pushy I think in trying to help her, but yet I feel like she kind of needs it (eg, sorry you can't use my computer today but why don't you go ahead and drive down to the employment center). OK so back around to the f.o.s....so supposedly one of the conditions of the contract is that she go to the employment center but I see no enforcement of conditions regarding this. Granted I don't know every single conversation but I do know enough of the details to know that a lot of stuff doesn't seem to be met from past experience with other families even a friend of mine in another ward. It just feels frustrating to me.

Ughh...so go ahead and give it to me straight. I know I need to repent for feeling this way and I have been trying but to no avail yet!
post #91 of 100
Drewsmom, this is all I can offer:
If I were in your situation, I’d be frustrated despite my confidence that the bishop and other auxiliary members were aware of the situation and evaluating it persistently and perceptively.

I would have to pray. A lot. I’d express my true feelings of the situation to Heavenly Father, utterly uncensored, and say, “Hey, am I justified feeling this way?” If not, “What can I do right now to feel better about this situation?” And you know what? I’d probably be surprised with His response. I usually am.

Despite what they teach in Sunday school, not every service we offer makes us feel good- I think we’ve all had those cases. Sometimes we feel taken advantage of. In those instances we need to sit back and take stock and ponder the purpose and counsel with Heavenly Father.

I've been storming through YA books lately. I head our branch's book club and we read YA Lit. Anyways, I've been reading I Am Scout a biography of Harper Lee, and a passage touched me and actually helped me look at fast offerings differently. Before Lee wrote To Kill A Mockingbird, she was living in NYC, dirtpoor, working hard and barely surviving- not even writing. She spent a lot of time with a family by the name of Brown. For Christmas the Browns gave Nelle (Harper Lee's first name) a simple white envelope, within it a note that read "Dear Nelle, You have one year off from your job to write whatever you please. Merry Christmas." Later Nelle wrote, "A full chance for a new life. Not given me by an act of generousity, but by an act of love. Our faith in you was really all I had heard them say."
I like the line this quote draws between generousity and an act of love, because they are different. Too many people think of the Atonement as a generous act rather than one of love. And, I, have thought my offerings were just me being generous so others can make end's meet, instead, I need to see it as an expression of love.
With the time given by the Browns, Harper Lee was able to write To Kill A Mockingbird. Whether or not you like the novel is kinda besides the point, but hey.

Drewsmom, you’re doing well. No need to feel guilty. From your post, you seem to know what you should be doing and are doing the best you can. You are aware of yourself and you know your abilities.
Keep us posted. We love putting our two cents in!
post #92 of 100
Thank you Angela, I appreciate your very well thought out words. I've been praying harder today. Ironically enough I was thinking about how one of my dear friends here who is not LDS but I actually met her through Mothering and a local forum's AP group would react to this and she is much more grounded and compassionate than I am. I know that it always helps me when people are patient with my mistakes and imperfections so I need to be as well. Also I realized that it's my ideas and expectations that I had of this sister that are meeting up with reality and I'm getting frustrated that they're different. I still need to learn how to balance that with helping to lovingly prod her along b/c I do sincerely feel that she needs it and that's why I've been blessed to have her as a sister to visit teach. Now I just need more *love* like you said.
post #93 of 100
Drewsmom, I just wanted to tell you that I've been on the receiving end of expectations put upon me and my family by other church members. These people said some very unkind things to us in the spirit of "teaching". That was back in August and I've not been back to church since because it made us feel so unwelcome and judged by people who didn't know us. BTW, we weren't getting any financial assistance from the church so I'm not sure why they felt like they should have any say in how we lived our lives.

I guess my point is that maybe the lesson here isn't for the unemployed mom at all.
post #94 of 100
Does anyone know how to put Christmas Devotional on a podcast?

Are there any LDS or LDS-themed podcasts that you listen to?
post #95 of 100
I listen to LDS Voices, and I think one that is called Light of Men or something... it's like listening to a play about the life of Christ. I really like it. The other one I listen to is Conference talks, there are a lot of Conference podcasts out there.
post #96 of 100
So. I live in a branch. Lots of kids, not enough adults. Big problem for Primary.
I know this is a typical problem in most branches and wards.
Any suggestions?
What are some of the different arrangements you have seen?
post #97 of 100
When I lived in England I attended a ward with about 30 kids and 3 adults in the Primary. I was in charge of singing time, and then when time came to go to classes we would split the primary into half - older kids and younger kids. I would teach the 10 or so younger kids, and the older kids would be split into half again and the other two leaders taught those classes.

Probably not helpful, but that's how we did it.
post #98 of 100
I could use your prayers and advice.

I don't want to go into too many details but a calling has been extended to me that just seems overwhelming. I don't have any experience in this area and there are some small ward political issues that might surface as well.

I don't want to flat out refuse the calling, but I'm really not looking forward to accepting the calling either.

Just when I feel comfortable saying yes, I get terrified again and feel like there is no way I can do it.

So...what do you do when situations like this present themselves? Any success stories of how you accepted callings that first terrified and overwhelmed you and how they later turned out wonderful?
post #99 of 100
Pray, pray pray pray pray PRAY. Could you maybe talk to the bishop about your concerns? Or what if you accepted the calling, and after a few months if you're struggling talk to the bishop and/or find someone to help you or else resign.

I have been extended a couple of callings that seemed extremely overwhelming, and so I didn't do them. I regret that, because I feel like maybe I was supposed to learn something important but since I didn't take the opportunity the Lord couldn't show me what he wanted me to know. Good luck with whatever you decide.
post #100 of 100
Just wondering if we have a 2010 thread yet? I've been poking around and I don't see one so I thought I'd ask.

I hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to seeing some updates.
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