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Other parents disapproving of proper terms? - Page 6

post #101 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breeder View Post
I suppose I'm just a dumb unenlightened woman for not talking about my body in terms I do not feel enclined to use. You can sing to your vulva if you'd like. I'm not offended by the term, or others using it.
lmaooooo
this made me snarf my water just now...
*making up song-"ode to my vulva".....*

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...

post #102 of 239
My kids know the technical terms but we also use fun terms just cuz life is fun. Dh's grandmother used to refer to his penis as a "pickle" and we thought it was so funny that it gets thrown around once in awhile.

You know I like vulva WAY better than saying vagina. I did adopt Yoni during my pregnancies. I got between breasts and chi-chis b/c when I was first nursing ds1 I lived in an area which did not support extended bfing and I didn't like the idea of him screaming out breasts. I could care less now.


We are also in the ball predicament. Again, he knows they are called the scrotum and testicles, but dh (and I) fondly refer to them as balls. I admitted this to a friend recently and I felt like she thought we were being totally irresponsible. I asked dh to try and say testicles but it sounded very formal. "Watch where you swing that bat, you almost hit me in the testicles!"
post #103 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Erin* View Post
lmaooooo
this made me snarf my water just now...
*making up song-"ode to my vulva".....*

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...

Really cause I love the word "snarf"
post #104 of 239
Oh geez My DS knows the proper names for most things. I was in the medical field before I went into teaching so it's just common sense terms for me. Sometimes people are surprised or say things like, "Oh, you should let him have his childhood" :
post #105 of 239
Some of these stories are so funny. LOL. I really think it's weird that people get so bent out of shape when a kid uses the proper term for their body parts. I also think that using cutesy names is totally fine as long as the child also knows to real names. I really don't see what the big deal is all around.

I would have a problem with it if the real names weren't taught to the child and were treated like bad words. My dd knows and uses the real names for girl and boy genitalia but she also uses different names that she comes up with sometimes too. I think it's fine either way really.

This is sort of off topic but this thread made me think of this.

At one of my old jobs I worked with these women who all ranged from different age groups. My manager was in her early 70s, my two co-workers were 30ish and newly 18. One day the 18yo told me that she had to leave early because she was going to get her clitoris pierced. Apparently this was something that she'd been wanting to do since she was 16 and she was pretty excited. So, she's getting her stuff and walking out the door when our manager comes over just as my other co-worker(30ish one) is walking up. They both asked where she was going and she said to ask me. So, I told them that she was off to pierce her clitoris.

Both of these women proceeded to ask me what the clitoris was. I was so embarrassed because I was trying to think of how to explain it in a clinical manner because these are my co-workers and one is my manager, yk. I really tried but they just kept looking at me all funny and then finally my manager walks off and then comes back with a pad of paper and a pen. She slaps it down on the desk and says that she wants me to draw it. :
At that point I wanted to die. LOL. Anyway, I drew it as best as I could and then handed them the pad. My 30yo co-worker sort of rolled her eyes at me and said, "You mean the Rosebud! Why didn't you just say that?". Then our manager says, "I always called that the nub." At that point I couldn't help it but I just lost it. I just couldn't stop laughing. Here are two grown adult women who are going around calling their clitoris their rosebud and nub. Thank God they had a sense of humor and we all ended up in hysterics because it was so funny and I didn't lose my job.

Anyway, I say to each their own but at least make sure that the proper terms are taught just so that you don't have be mortified at work one day. lol.
post #106 of 239
http://www.artgoddess.com/purses.htm

I've always loved these. I need to figure out how to make one! Be sure and scroll down a bit, some of the prettiest ones are later on the page.
post #107 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamafreya View Post



Both of these women proceeded to ask me what the clitoris was.


I find that the most shocking thing in this thread so far! Not one but TWO grown women had no idea what a clitoris was???
post #108 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Erin* View Post

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...

For some reason I hate the sound of "vulva." I don't like "Volvo" either. I don't know why, but vagina just sounds better.
post #109 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy View Post
"Oh, you should let him have his childhood" :
That is hilarious!!! I think I would fall over laughing if someone said that to me.

Regarding "yoni," I can appreciate its historical origin and meaning, but since most people don't know it, you'd run into exactly the same problems if a child were trying to describe abuse as you would with certain made-up names. I think the overall lesson is that people can use whatever terms they wish, as long as they also teach the standard medical terms so that kids can communicate effectively if they need to.
post #110 of 239
Quote:
"Cheese balls! My daddy has balls. and a penis" Oh boy. The teacher wasn't too thrilled about this. I think she just should have ignored it, but I guess she had a little talk with him about those topics being inappropriate for the snack table.
The rule in my son's preschool is that any conversation about private parts or bodily functions should take place in the bathroom. (They can say, "I have to potty." but can't talk about poop, pee, etc. until inside the bathroom.) I think this is pretty sensible. EnviroKid has decided it applies to life in general and will ask me to come into the bathroom with him at home so he can tell me whatever entertaining conversation happened in the school bathroom that day.

Quote:
My boss's name was Jaime (pronounced Hi-may) and I called him Hymen in our first conversation.
Hyman is a Yiddish male first name and is pronounced exactly like hymen. Guys with this name are usually called Hymie, but still, I wonder why anyone chooses this name for their son.
post #111 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
Hyman is a Yiddish male first name and is pronounced exactly like hymen. Guys with this name are usually called Hymie, but still, I wonder why anyone chooses this name for their son.
Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and people don't snicker -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.
post #112 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and people don't snicker -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.
There was much snickering when our grade 4 teacher (from Brittan) said on the first day of school while doing roll call, "Richard C. Hi! Do they call you Dick?"

Now. If he wasn't the biggest jerk in the class, people may not have found it so amusing. As it was, there was great rejoicing at being introduced to that short form for the name.

There was less rejoicing, but similar interest when the same man asked Alex if people called him Sasha.

Let's just say, both new nicknames were used with great frequency.
post #113 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by ixia View Post
I use slang at times when I don't want him to know I'm referring to his penis. "DH, could you throw a pair of pants on him, I'm sick of his JohnDangler on the couch."
: I don't know why but this made me laugh out loud!

I am pretty amused to hear all of the nick names people have for their "bits". In our house the guys have a penis and testicles (even though I am working on correcting this to scrotum, since what you are looking at is not in fact a testicle. I realized this a few weeks after naming the part for DD. ) The gals have vulvas. My DD knows about the uterus, urethra (she likes to say pee hole ), ovaries, clitoris, labia, foreskin (no glans yet since she has not really asked for more info on the penis and it's not showing on little bro.)

Between DH and I, out of earshot of the kids we giggle over calling DS's penis his baby junk (thank you to the movie Juno for updating me on slang terms!) and I have started taking to calling everybody's private parts their bits, as in telling DH to make sure he wipes ALL of DS's bits when he changes a poopy diaper. DD has started referring to her privates when she is feeling shy, as in "Don't look at my privates." when getting dressed.

Part of me thinks that it is important for every person to be taught the proper names for their bodies and thinks this is what kids and their caregivers should be saying (common language is a good thing). But another part of me really does not care what other families choose to do. If my aunt needs to refer to a boy's penis as a "wet tail", whatever. I know that my kids have the correct information and that's all I can really control.
post #114 of 239
I thought these thoughts needed a separate post than the above.

I think it is really sad/weird that adults don't know the proper terms for their own body parts. I'm going to put on my overly intellectual hat for a moment here and draw on my knowledge of how words have the power to shape thoughts for a moment.

I'm glad others have said it before me, I find it very frustrating that so many people use the term vagina to refer to all of a woman's genitalia. My DD and I have a vagina, but that certainly is not the part you are looking at when we are naked. Don't get me wrong, it's a very important part of our anatomy, but letting the vagina become the all encompassing word adds to mystification and confusion of the female body. I think it also does woman a disservice by making it seem like all of our other parts are just secondary and unimportant.

By correctly labeling a women's genitalia with the word vulva (or yoni), which is made up of many parts with different functions, I think we could help a lot of women feel more confident about their body and how it works. And then there would be the fringe benefits of men having some understanding that when it comes to sex, we women are a lot more than just a vagina.
post #115 of 239
Quote:
Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and people don't snicker -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.
IME, this is a lot more true of names like Matt and Mark. I can't think of anyone named Dick who I encountered regularly and never heard snickered about and/or commented on in the sense of dick=jerk. When I was in high school, the fact that there were 3 Dicks on the school board was mentioned frequently in a "What do you expect?" kind of way. Later, I had a co-worker called Dick who was teased mercilessly by the boss; the fact that his last name was Moorhead only added to his troubles. I asked him why he didn't just call himself Richard. He said, "Because my full name's not Richard. It's Dickie." What were his parents thinking??
post #116 of 239
What is the context of all these discussions about children's genetalia?

I taught my kids the anatomically correct words for their body parts. My son is a middle schooler now, and boys his age use slang like "nuts" or "balls" or God only knows what else...I don't correct him if he says something like "I got kicked in the nuts at soccer practice". He knows the correct term, but in the context of hanging out with his friends, the slang is more appropriate.

I don't discuss my kids' genitals with other adults, unless it's a doctor, in which case the anatomically correct words are also correct in context.

My youngest knows the "right" words too, but it's a lot more fun to be silly and run around saying "look at my tushie" after a bath than it is to say "look at my buttocks/posterior".
post #117 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
I'm glad others have said it before me, I find it very frustrating that so many people use the term vagina to refer to all of a woman's genitalia. My DD and I have a vagina, but that certainly is not the part you are looking at when we are naked. Don't get me wrong, it's a very important part of our anatomy, but letting the vagina become the all encompassing word adds to mystification and confusion of the female body. I think it also does woman a disservice by making it seem like all of our other parts are just secondary and unimportant.

By correctly labeling a women's genitalia with the word vulva (or yoni), which is made up of many parts with different functions, I think we could help a lot of women feel more confident about their body and how it works. And then there would be the fringe benefits of men having some understanding that when it comes to sex, we women are a lot more than just a vagina.
I would agree with you, except that, for all the years that I used the term "vagina", I never thought about what that actually applied to. I never thought that my vagina was more important than my clitoris (HECK, NO!!) or labia, or anything else. I simply didn't know a word for the whole thing, and actually assumed that "vagina" did double-duty.

Likewise, the men I've known who didn't know the word "vulva" (ie. most, maybe all, of the men I've ever known!), didn't think my vagina was the only part of me, or even the only important part of me. They just thought that particular word meant the entire area. By and large, most people I've known (at least the ones I've talked to about it), are/were familiar with terms for most of the female parts - they just didn't know the term for the whole area, and thought that "vagina" was being correctly used that way.

And, when you get right down to it, why wouldn't they think that? If there's a single term that encompasses the penis and the scrotum, I've never heard it. It's not that surprising that people didn't/don't realize the same doesn't apply to women.

I wish I were surprised that grown women don't know the term "clitoris", but I'm not. As I mentioned upthread, I've seen diagrams (in the puberty types books) that show female genitalia, and include labels for the vagina, urethra, labia majora and minora...but don't include the clitoris at all.
post #118 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy View Post
Oh geez My DS knows the proper names for most things. I was in the medical field before I went into teaching so it's just common sense terms for me. Sometimes people are surprised or say things like, "Oh, you should let him have his childhood" :
This might be the most mind-blowing comment on this thread, imo. How on earth is teaching ds2 that the thing dangling from his lower body that he finds so endlessly fascinating is called a "penis", instead of teaching him it's called a "pickle"? This is taking away his childhood? WTH?
post #119 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I would agree with you, except that, for all the years that I used the term "vagina", I never thought about what that actually applied to. I never thought that my vagina was more important than my clitoris (HECK, NO!!) or labia, or anything else. I simply didn't know a word for the whole thing, and actually assumed that "vagina" did double-duty.

Likewise, the men I've known who didn't know the word "vulva" (ie. most, maybe all, of the men I've ever known!), didn't think my vagina was the only part of me, or even the only important part of me. They just thought that particular word meant the entire area. By and large, most people I've known (at least the ones I've talked to about it), are/were familiar with terms for most of the female parts - they just didn't know the term for the whole area, and thought that "vagina" was being correctly used that way.

And, when you get right down to it, why wouldn't they think that? If there's a single term that encompasses the penis and the scrotum, I've never heard it. It's not that surprising that people didn't/don't realize the same doesn't apply to women.

I wish I were surprised that grown women don't know the term "clitoris", but I'm not. As I mentioned upthread, I've seen diagrams (in the puberty types books) that show female genitalia, and include labels for the vagina, urethra, labia majora and minora...but don't include the clitoris at all.
How is it any different to ignorantly call your vulva a "vagina" than to call you vulva any of the other words that are used, they are all just as wrong.

That's what I don't understand about this discussion. 1 type of ignorance is no better than another kind. The false superiority really bugs me.
post #120 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliveMama View Post
How is it any different to ignorantly call your vulva a "vagina" than to call you vulva any of the other words that are used, they are all just as wrong.

That's what I don't understand about this discussion. 1 type of ignorance is no better than another kind. The false superiority really bugs me.
Who is being falsely superior? I think Storm Bride is just explaining (exceptionally well, IMO) how it comes to be that some people use the word "vagina" to describe visible female genitalia. She's not advocating that people continue to do so, I don't think, just saying why they do it.

The poster she quoted was saying that using the word "vagina" reduces all of a woman's genitalia to just her vaginal canal (which it does, if people are aware of the definition of the word they're using), but Storm Bride is saying that, since many people think that "vagina" is an all-encompassing term for all of a woman's genitals, they aren't *trying* to exclude the other parts. So yes, they're using the wrong word and hopefully at some point they'll learn the correct term and start using it, but in the meantime, when they say "vagina" they're thinking of the whole area and aren't intentionally excluding the other parts.
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