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Other parents disapproving of proper terms? - Page 9

post #161 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
What do you call your son's bits? Penis and testicles? Penis and scrotum? As I think I mentioned in an earlier post one is technically more correct than the other but just like the vagina/vulva issue, seems not to be the popular choice.

We use penis and scrotum if we are talking about washing, we use testicles if someone gets hit in the region. DH explained to DS1 that testicles were "little balls" inside of his scrotum. When DS later hurt himself, he said "Ow I hurt my little balls."
post #162 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Just curious about your post (I'm not trying to be snarky), are you saying that people will not know what a vulva is? As in you know folks that have no idea what that word refers to?
That's exactly what I'm saying. *I* didn't even know what "vulva" meant until a few months ago, thanks to a smiliar thread on MDC. A lot of women have confessed to not knowing proper terms until well into adulthood (and probably more who are too embarrassed to admit it). At age 26, I had to google to find an illistrated drawing to figure it out. Yes, I'm completely serious. I knew "clit" and "vagina" from my mom. My health class never went into outside detail, as a few others have mentioned. I was never interested in human anatomy and had no desire to self educate myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
I hope to goodness no little girl ever comes up to me to say someone touched her vagina if she gets accidentally bumped between her legs cause I will have a heart attack before remembering that she might just mean the outside bit.
Well if she does, I'm sure she can explain what happened and you can judge for yourself if it was harmless or not. But, when she's old enough I will explain vulva/labia/vagina/clit to her....but not right now. *My* two year old isn't ready for diagrams. Guess she's slow like that

When we get into the detailed body parts discussion, I will also inform her that a lot of adults are not educated with the female body. I will educate her well enough that she will be able to explain herself.
post #163 of 239
Ok. I just asked my nearest female co-worker the following:

Me: "I have a really weird question for you."
Her: "Ok?"
Me: "Do you know what a vulva is?"
Her: "A volvo? Like a car?"
Me: "No a vulva; v-u-l-v-a (spelled it). Do you know what that is?"
Her: "No?" (Very confused look on her face).
Me: "Its the outside part of our girl parts."
Her: "Huh. I didn't know that."
(Then I explained why I was asking, purposes of an online discussion )

She's 41 and has birthed 2 daughters. I'm going to take a poll of all the women I know to see who knows what a vulva is.
post #164 of 239
Nevermind.
post #165 of 239
Nevermind as well.
post #166 of 239
Nevermind.
post #167 of 239
And I just asked a 42 year old female co-worker who has birthed 3 boys.

She had no idea what vulva was. I even told her, "vulva is something every woman has." She shook her head and said, "I have no idea."

So, no. Absolutely not....I will not change the terminology I use with dd. Until she's old enough to understand it all.
post #168 of 239
We always use the correct terminology, but I don't think dh is that comfortable with it. If I say vulva, he starts talking about cars. He's joking, but I think it's discomfort making him joke (that, or to get a rise out me ).

The only proper word I have a problem saying is "perineum", as I'm not sure how it's pronounced over here, and I can come up with at least two pronounciations for it.
post #169 of 239
Those of you who think the vulva/vagina distinction is very important: Do you also get upset when people say "testicles" when they mean "scrotum"? After all, testicles are just the inside part.
post #170 of 239
Not exactly the same but my mil (and apparently her mom did the same) will not use the term "pregnant". She prefers "with child" and gets upset when my kids say otherwise. She also did not tell my husbands siblings she was pregnant with him because "it was not their business". Her oldest daughter, who was a teenager, figured it out when she was several months along.
post #171 of 239
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.


Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.
post #172 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevee3 View Post
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.
: I totally agreee.

Sorry to see you go though.
post #173 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevee3 View Post
Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?
You know...I get what you're saying, but this thread did get started because people are so freaked out about a child knowing the proper names for their genitals. I think it is in a child's best interests to learn the proper words, but it's not something I get bent about. I would definitely be upset if someone were on my case, or looking down on my child, because my child uses "penis", instead of "pickle". I'll admit that people only teaching cutesy terms gets on my last nerve...but, if I ran a home daycare, I wouldn't kick a child out for calling her genitals her purse...and one of the women in this thread had her child kicked out of a home daycare for using the correct term. So, when you get right down to it, who is really being the judgmental one there...the people who are annoyed by cutesy terms, or the people who are so outraged by correct terms that they'll kick a child out of daycare for using them?
post #174 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevee3 View Post
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.


Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.
Well the abuse/court angle is one reason why it matters. Another reason is that there are grown women who don't know what a clitoris or vulva is.

I also haven't seen any judging going on.


I don't think I am better than anyone because my kids know the proper terminology.
post #175 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
That's exactly what I'm saying. *I* didn't even know what "vulva" meant until a few months ago, thanks to a smiliar thread on MDC. A lot of women have confessed to not knowing proper terms until well into adulthood (and probably more who are too embarrassed to admit it). At age 26, I had to google to find an illistrated drawing to figure it out. Yes, I'm completely serious. I knew "clit" and "vagina" from my mom. My health class never went into outside detail, as a few others have mentioned. I was never interested in human anatomy and had no desire to self educate myself.
I'll be another that admits to this. I knew labia were the "lips" down there...but vulva? That was fairly new to me...


Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevee3 View Post

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?
Yeah, some of the posts have come across as judgemental. But a lot of this thread, for me anyway, has been enlightening. Think about how many moms came in and said, "Hey, I didn't know what it was called until a thread on MDC." How many moms and dads do you think learned something just from this thread?
post #176 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevee3 View Post
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.


Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.
First... Lets see, why does a 2 yo need to know? Well far as I know it's not that they need to know as much as it's their body and they have a right to know. Yeah they can learn it later. But they can also learn cute names later, in fact most do so why not be the place where they get real info instead of the cute-so-as-not-to-offend info.

Second... Facinating how in you manage to make your post judgemental while attempting to rant about judging others. Or maybe not.
post #177 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
Those of you who think the vulva/vagina distinction is very important: Do you also get upset when people say "testicles" when they mean "scrotum"? After all, testicles are just the inside part.

First of all, none of this upsets me. I just prefer to use proper terms as best I can to teach my daughters about just about everything in this world, as long as I know them.

People in my world usually refer to testicles/scrotum as balls, not the proper term. What others call their own parts is none of my concern as long as I understand what they mean. I have no sons, so teaching the proper terms to a boy is not something I have to worry about. My girls are still too young to worry about teaching them about boy parts, but when I do get to that, I will teach them the proper terms.
post #178 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
Ok. I just asked my nearest female co-worker the following:

Me: "I have a really weird question for you."
Her: "Ok?"
Me: "Do you know what a vulva is?"
Her: "A volvo? Like a car?"
Me: "No a vulva; v-u-l-v-a (spelled it). Do you know what that is?"
Her: "No?" (Very confused look on her face).
Me: "Its the outside part of our girl parts."
Her: "Huh. I didn't know that."
(Then I explained why I was asking, purposes of an online discussion )

She's 41 and has birthed 2 daughters. I'm going to take a poll of all the women I know to see who knows what a vulva is.
I bet there are a lot of interesting conversations going on in offices and living rooms all of the country, maybe even the world, right now.

I just got off the phone with my sister. (She's 3 years younger, we are both well into our 30's.) Even though we grew up in the same house and she was involved in almost every conversation about sex I had with our mother, she did not know what a vulva was. She knew the word but took a guess about what it reefed to (she knew it had something to do with female genitalia.)

I'm glad that it has come up that vulva is not a generally known word. I had know idea and I will be sure DD knows to say vagina if someone is confused. (I hope she never has a need to talk about her vulva/vagina to some stranger that might misunderstand!)

I'm sorry that some folks are feeling judged. Speaking for myself, I'm just engaging in a conversation and I am truly interested in what others are thinking/doing. I learn a lot here at MDC.

Changing direction a little, the first time I remember being annoyed about "incorrect" usage of vagina was after seeing The Vagina Monologues. I guess that should have been a clue to me that vagina is a generally more accepted/used word than vulva, huh. I think I was annoyed that adults in the show seemed not to know the difference and were broadcasting this to the public. I figured that somebody should have said something to the writers. It also irked me that for many in the audience, this was perhaps the first time some of these words and topics were openly discussed and here they were getting incorrect info (I'm thinking about the men that I knew that saw the show and commented on what an eye opener it was, they had know idea, blah, blah blah.)

I don't think I have ever been annoyed to hear a young child refer to their vagina, because as some have already said, I figured they would get clarification as they got older.

Another question to those that learned about the vulva/vagina differences when they were adults. Did it piss you off that you had not learned this stuff sooner? Just curious. I'm thinking about some female reproduction stuff that I have learned in the last few years that I feel like I should have known about at a MUCH younger age.
post #179 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Another question to those that learned about the vulva/vagina differences when they were adults. Did it piss you off that you had not learned this stuff sooner?
No, it doesn't. Of all the things about my childhood that DOES piss me off, this is not one of them. I certainly had plenty of sex education, but vulva was not a term I was introduced to. All the parts were individually named for me during my education.
post #180 of 239
Just thought it might be interesting, I happen to be watching Sex and the City at the moment, and wouldn't you know it it's the episode where Charlotte admits to never looking at her girly bits. Everyone is referring to vagina, not vulva. I think this points pretty strongly to vagina being the mainstream word of choice.

Back to the discussion.

And, because I know someone is thinking it, DD is at my Mom's house this week, and DS is napping. No, the kids are not watching with me.
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