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Other parents disapproving of proper terms? - Page 2

post #21 of 239
I don't understand why anyone would be offended by the names of body parts - a penis is a body part, an elbow is a body part, a forhead is a body part, etc. They need to get over themselves!
post #22 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliveMama View Post
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.
I cant find the head in a bag smilie...*insert that here*

So..I have known now for two months that what we have been calling the vagina, is actually the vulva - but honest to goodness...I didnt know..I didnt know before I read a thread here saying so. This coming from an educated university grad person...Im a little ashamed of myself..I always thought the outside was the vagina, and the vagina consisted of the labia etc etc etc....

So...my problem now is, my toddler who is really interested in body parts *knows* that area is her vagina, and her bum is her bum...how can I go about correcting it the term without confusing her - I know she will get it eventually, but I would like to use the right term....
post #23 of 239
Butt may be slang too but at least people know what you are talking about when you talk about it. A lot of the cutesy words are asking for trouble because they are not universally known or recognized.

I was trying to think of what terms I was taught to use when I was a kid but I can't remember because discussing body parts was just not something that you did. You could cuss like a sailor but you could not discuss certain body parts or certain other things. If you had a rash or were sore, you said, "I hurt" and then proceeded to point because using any word to talk about it seemed horrific.

So, when I had kids, I was at a complete loss as to what terms to use because I knew that a lot of family members would freak out no matter what term was used because you just don't talk about it. As a result, we talk about private parts. All of my girls know the correct terms but we have always just referred to private parts as a catch all. It may not be exact but it is universally recognized and will not send anyone into a tizzy or cause anyone to faint. Down here in the south, I can see some of the more conservative old ladies fainting over a little kid using proper terms.
post #24 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliveMama View Post
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...
Actually, I find it annoying. The vagina is the inside part. The vulva is the part that you touch while pottying or bathing.
post #25 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by clicksab View Post
Has anyone else encountered parents who think that teaching the proper terms for body parts (penis and vagina especially) is "wrong"? This weekend I was at a party and a bunch of moms that I don't really know or hang out with started talking about their sons and the funny things they do and say. Of course, one of them started talking about how it scares her how her son yanks on his "goober". I was actually a little confused at first until I realized that "goober" is code for penis. They continued on that subject and one of the ladies told a story about how a boy in her daycare kept saying that his penis hurt (ended up having a UTI) and she was like "I kept having to tell him to shush! I can't believe his mom told him to say penis, it's so embarrassing that he says that in front of the other kids!"

Um, what? You can't handle a 3 year old using the proper terms for his parts? Then shame him like he's doing something wrong? I mean, if you want to use cutesy names for your kids bits, that's your business...but it never occurred to me that people would think it was wrong for me to teach my kids the real terms! Anyone else encounter this? It really threw me for a loop.
They sound really immature. I teach proper terms, although DD is 2, so I don't differentiate her vulva from her vagina, yet. She calls it her "gina"
post #26 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by kriket View Post
I've thought about this, and where I agree, I don't expect toddlers to express that their 3rd distal phalanges is inflamed. I'm OK with "my finger hurts" KWIM?
Saying vulva and vagina is more similar to simply saying hand and finger, though. Mentioning the "3rd distal phalanges' is comparable to saying the "left labia minora". I mean, come on.

Saying vagina irks me because 90% of the adults I know call it a vagina because they simply don't know. If you're going to call it the proper name, then call it the proper name. Easy-peasy.

Back on topic, I had a friend who called her son's penis a "firehouse". Now that is more embarrassing than saying penis. I don't understand the need to make the words shameful.
post #27 of 239
DH and I have talked about it and we fully plan on proper terms (we haven't discussed vulva vs vagina yet...)

I agree that it's sad that society views anatomically correct terms as "dirty" and "wrong." I can remember being in high school biology and the teacher telling us that at any point in time he could make us stand up and say "penis" and "vagina" over again as punishment. (He was joking about ACTUALLY doing it) The looks of horror around the room were astonishing. I remember thinking "so??" But a lot of people were terrified they'd have to say penis...
post #28 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Saying vagina irks me because 90% of the adults I know call it a vagina because they simply don't know. If you're going to call it the proper name, then call it the proper name. Easy-peasy.
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the actual term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to think 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.
post #29 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the actual term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to think 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.
Thanks storm bride! Because this is me too (and I said so above). I didnt know my vulva was my vulva...I just thought it was all general vagina..and then broken down into smaller parts. Im certainly not trying to use the wrong word - because I honestly thought it was the right term.

I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...
post #30 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the actual term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to think 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.
I understand what you're saying, but that is exactly my point. If people would call them by their correct names, it would stop the problem. If people used the correct terms, we wouldn't have so many people that don't know the proper names for their own body parts.

And yes, I do prefer "vagina" over "purse" or "cookie", I sppose.

...

That's a weird sentence to end a post.
post #31 of 239
LOL. My DS knows and uses the word penis properly. Too bad daddy taught him that his testicles were called "balls". It ended up getting him in a little trouble at preschool -- they had cheese balls for snack and my (then 3.5 year old) DS started giggling, "Cheese balls! My daddy has balls. and a penis" Oh boy. The teacher wasn't too thrilled about this. I think she just should have ignored it, but I guess she had a little talk with him about those topics being inappropriate for the snack table. I kind of thought the whole thing was hysterical and I did explain to him that we don't talk about our private parts when people are eating!

Oh yeah, I did try to teach him the right word after this incident, but he declared that he preferred to call them balls. Oh well, balls it is!
post #32 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by poiyt View Post
Thanks storm bride! Because this is me too (and I said so above). I didnt know my vulva was my vulva...I just thought it was all general vagina..and then broken down into smaller parts. Im certainly not trying to use the wrong word - because I honestly thought it was the right term.

I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...
Yup. I learned most of it from my mom, but she, of course, only knew 'vagina'. (She was born in '43, and her mom was a total prude - sometimes, I'm surprised mom even knew 'vagina'...no idea where she learned it!) Then, I learned a few more terms in our 'puberty education' class, but it was all the specifics, not the general term. Oh...and that information somehow completely excluded the clitoris. I guess we weren't supposed to know we had those!
post #33 of 239
As with E-VER-Y parenting choice, people on all sides will be sanctimonious. I use 'cute' terms, but only because I tend to adopt my childrens' words for things, rather than coax them to 'get it right.' Thus, my girls have some really weird names for everything from their genitalia to their grandparents.

I've taken some attitude from parents who seem to think it's horrible to use cute names, and I just snicker behind my hand when their daughters talk about their 'Chinas.'


Quote:
Originally Posted by AliveMama View Post
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.

Yeah, I think it's kind of funny that people can be uptight about using the correct term when they aren't.
post #34 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by poiyt View Post
I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...
Not to be nit-picky, but I never took sex ed so I don't think it's fair to use that as a scapegoat.
post #35 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
I understand what you're saying, but that is exactly my point. If people would call them by their correct names, it would stop the problem. If people used the correct terms, we wouldn't have so many people that don't know the proper names for their own body parts.
That's true. I think this problem will slowly disappear over the next few years, though.

Quote:
And yes, I do prefer "vagina" over "purse" or "cookie", I sppose.

...

That's a weird sentence to end a post.

...only on MDC...

(or maybe not - I can see that coming up on the Iron Maiden bb I used to post on, as well...not sure what that says about the crowd there)
post #36 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Not to be nit-picky, but I never took sex ed so I don't think it's fair to use that as a scapegoat.
Ditto.

And my prudish parents certainly never taught me the different names and features of my genitals (genitalia? girly-bits? cookies?!).
post #37 of 239
I use cute names for lots of things (anybody ever talked about a belly?) and I also use proper names where appropriate.

When I worked in daycare I used either proper names (Only one penis per toilet!) and all encompassing general terms (Please put your bits back in your pants during circle time Johnny!)

I don't really care what you use at home as a rule, but your child should know the proper names, even if that's not what you call their parts most of the time. (Ie. a silly name shouldn't be used to the exclusion of all else. Most kids call their stomach/abdomen a belly, but know where their stomach is if you ask.)
post #38 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by because why not? View Post
As with E-VER-Y parenting choice, people on all sides will be sanctimonious. I use 'cute' terms, but only because I tend to adopt my childrens' words for things, rather than coax them to 'get it right.' Thus, my girls have some really weird names for everything from their genitalia to their grandparents.
I really don't care for cutesy names, but I don't really care that much if other parents use them. I just don't want to catch flak for teaching my son that his penis is...a penis. I do also want my children to have the vocabulary to tell me - and others, if necessary - if someone is doing something sexual to them. (That said, I can live with the better known terms...ds2 knows the word scrotum, but he's more likely to hear 'balls' around here, especially with a teenage older brother and his friends around. If he told someone that somebody was touching his balls, I'm pretty sure the meaning would get across.)
post #39 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenekitten View Post
And my prudish parents certainly never taught me the different names and features of my genitals (genitalia? girly-bits? cookies?!).
I don't think my mother and I ever talked about specifics on anything at all. I'm sure I learned it when I was 19 and pregnant with DD.
post #40 of 239
Quote:
Originally Posted by poiyt View Post
I cant find the head in a bag smilie...*insert that here*

So..I have known now for two months that what we have been calling the vagina, is actually the vulva - but honest to goodness...I didnt know..I didnt know before I read a thread here saying so. This coming from an educated university grad person...Im a little ashamed of myself..I always thought the outside was the vagina, and the vagina consisted of the labia etc etc etc....

So...my problem now is, my toddler who is really interested in body parts *knows* that area is her vagina, and her bum is her bum...how can I go about correcting it the term without confusing her - I know she will get it eventually, but I would like to use the right term....
I don't think she will be confused. She's still young. You can get a book or online illustration or give her a mirror and name all the individual parts.
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