Just as a warning, this might be a little disturbing as it involves a scary m/c dream...
skip it if you need to, I won't take it personally.
Last night I had the most awful (and vivid) dream that I miscarried. In the dream I went to the bathroom and there was blood and as I sat there it just gushed out (actually it was a lot like the m/c I had at 14wks, and probably entirely unlike one would be at 7wks...) anyway, it was terrifying and horrible. I've only carried to term once, and miscarried at least 4 times--3 of them past 10wks--so I'm always a little bit scared about that. As I was dreaming it I *think* I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't wake myself out of it, and it was just so vivid, you know?
When I did wake up this morning my first thought was to run to the bathroom and make sure everything was ok...whew, I don't think I have EVER been so relieved to see blood-free underwear in my life.
: It was like it wasn't until I actually SAW the proof that I was able to accept that it had only been a dream.
I've had weird pregnancy dreams before, and crazy psycho ones, but never anything horrifying like this before. I mentioned it to a couple of people and they said that scary dreams are not uncommon in pregnancy...but dang, that was awful. On non-dream-related topics! (yeah, it's safe to read now if you were skipping the last bit!)
I feel ikky, but no barfing as of yet. I don't usually barf much--I think I did once with each of my last couple of pregnancies... I feel
like I'm gonna barf all the time, but I almost never actually do. I have my usual cravings for carbs and sweets, which of course don't help me feel better at all, and I can't stand the thought of most proteins (which do help me feel better). Oh the irony!!! BUT, I keep reminding myself that lots of women have it lots worse and I should just shut up.
Night-weaning my toddler is mostly going well. Since making him cut back at night he's been asking more often in the day again, but he's been pretty understanding with me when I tell him that the nanu is oowie.
(usually only one of them hurts, why is that?!
) A few times he has brought me his baby doll to nurse, and he likes to tandem with the doll, which is SO cute. I would like him to let go of everything except the bedtime nursing by the time this little one comes, but he'll be almost 3 by then so I don't think that should be too hard.
I've started contacting potential providers, but since we're going to be moving I haven't really seen anyone here yet. We have a tiny local clinic with a part time health aide (ie, she can weigh and measure me but that's about it) so I got my baseline vitals just so I'd have a record of them, but I probably won't have any official appointments with anybody until at last 15wks (After we move), which I'm ok with. They don't do much at the early ones anyway.