Help i don't feel "gentle" towards my son

[spirulina]

javascript:smilie('')

i just don't feel gentle torwards my son!
he has behavior problums way beyond what i can handle!! he is 7 years old and
still pees his bed,his pants and just yesterday he poopt his pants!! IM GONNA SCREAM!!!! topper: he acted like
it wasn't him. he acts like he is stupid on purpose!!! when since a baby he has
shown himself to be VERY smart.
i feel like he is doing this so i through
my hands up and send him to his dads.
HELP??

[captain optimism]

I think it's not unusual for some boys to have bed wetting issues in first or second grade. I wouldn't assume that he's doing that on purpose. Here is a webpage on a site about bedwetting. If you click the link, you'll see that they have some treatment suggestions. It is possible to solve bedwetting gently. (In fact there is no reason to do otherwise, as punitive measures will not work.)

But the thing about losing control of his bladder and his bowels while he's awake sounds really serious. I think you should consult a professional about this one. If your son can't control his bodily functions, then he needs medical help. If he is doing it as an expression of hostility toward you (as your post suggests) then he needs psychological help.

It sounds like he could be angry that you and his father have split up. (Your post says that you sent him to his dad's house.) If he's angry enough to poop himself, he's angry enough for you to go with him to family therapy. That's way too angry for you to handle alone.

Hope this helps.

[emmasayshi]

I'd take him to a doctor right away, and a nutritionist after that. He's not being stupid, something's wrong with him. Doctor!!!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I don't have a 7 year old but I just wanted to send a little hug your way. What your son is going through sounds very hard to deal with but I wouldn't think it was too far out of the range or "normal" for a stressed kid. He sounds stressed to me or like he's pushing you to get a strong reaction (attention). Is he going through something at home or at school?

I don't want to give my personal story right here but I did a similar thing as a young child, which I think was a cry for attention and help from my parents during the time my mother had met her soon-to-be-new husband. This was not even a very high stress period in my life but I need some help with it that I wasn't getting and I reacted like your son is now.

If it is a cry for help or attention, I would address it head on and keep comunication wide, wide open.

[spirulina]

re:"gentle"

thank you all!
the responces make sence

i was being very dramatic when i wrote
initally major stress for us ya
him peeing the bed sucks!! no help from his dad . i think he was still using pull-ups overthere! i just had a bbgirl in April
and he is awesome w/ her!!
i always thank him for his help and
tell him how nice and loving he is.

seeing a Dr. i think might be the best
option for now
peace

[zipworth]

Spirulina,

I am glad to hear your son is doing well with the new baby. Please keep us posted !

Natalie