Well, I don't have much time now, but for now I will share this:
People's opinion of Hawai'i differs greatly.
One thing is for sure is that it is overpopulated, too many people move here. I'm only 31 and i have seen so much destroyed for more costco's and tragets etc. not to mention new housing developments.
As places that are safe for the family, there is not much difference in areas except in the quality of people. Safety for your kids will be more in the environment such as too close to main roads, or areas where people just drive recklessly (there is horrible drivers here) Town would not be a good place to live with kids. Its dirty even if you have a nice building, kids need to go out and play and there is too much traffic etc.
What I was saying about quality of the people, well how do I explain that? there is areas where kids as young as 8 will be playing outside using swear words and calling each other names, and you will hear a lot of domestics (yelling hitting walls, etc) but this is more areas within areas. You can pick anywhere and find a decent place with nice neighbors.
Education sucks in my opinion. this is mostly from lack of parent involvement. So if you are going to be participating with your kids, get them into extracuricular activities follow up with teachers you should be fine.
Non vax pediatricians, none I have found. I just switched my daughter to one that does delayed, but haven't gone to first appt yet so can't tell you much about that.
Breastfeeding laws here are great, anywhere anyway. as much exposed as needed. sadly there is still too many babies being formula fed.
Hawaii is expensive. Rent is high. look at the classifieds in rentals illustraded or Honolulu Advertiser for ideas. A lot of the cheaper places are tiny and in undesirable areas, you can tell from the pictures though :-)
Craigs list can be useful to find a cheaper place, but wait until you are here for that and you can meet them in person, too many scams on there.
The farther away from town the cheaper it gets, except for like the north shore, because it's all pretty much beach front it will be pricy.
I don't know how they are about vaccines at school, my daughter is 2 still
her half sisters all had regular vaccines. I know MMR is one they ask for, but not sure if elementary, or high school...
I had a midwife and gave birth at hospital, I can't tell you about homebirths, I don't know much
Homeschooling, for what I have heard is the best way to go. There is lots of extra activities through boys and girls club, YMCA's sports etc to encourage socialization.
Living here will differ in the things you choose to do, and the people you surround yourself with.
The best experience you will have is if you are open to everyone since we have so many different cultures and ways of living.
Oh, and the whole locals don't like mainland people, if you are nice and don't have a stuck up attitude (which I am sure you don't
) you'll be fine. I'm sure you understand that with so many people moving here it makes it harder to live here, and it is already so crowded so people of course get a little ticked. But that's just initially and not personal.
Traffic sucks, did I mention that?
We do have a great bus system, even though it might take long at times, it's the best I have seen so far. Just sometimes there is stinky people on the bus.
Sorry if I was all over, I have my hyper daughter climbing on me, and her best friend (also 2) following suit.
I am sure others will have different opinions and suggestions, as I said life here can differ greatly from one person to another.
Also, neighbor islands differ from one another. I live on Oahu at the moment.