This is very, very interesting. Very interesting.
I don't come from an abusive past, either, but do have a strong need for parenting books. Because I am very much like my mother.
My mother is an extremely gentle person, was more likely to tend toward being a pushover... particularly when we were small. But then she became divorced - a single, working mother, stressed out. She was still always loving and patient a good bit of the time - until she'd had enough and then she BLEW. It was quiet fury, but fury nonetheless.
As a result of my upbringing, I am generally gentle and loving and kind. But the more stressed I get (and stress is at an all-time high these days), the less patient I get and the more likely I am to blow at any second. I've thought over this forever, it seems, and realized that the reason I blow is because I've not been equipped with the tools to communicate my needs and deal with my frustrations along the way in a healthier manner.
This is why I read parenting books (the good ones!) - because they help me to fill the gaping holes in my communication ability. I need a reason to do this, because I simply don't have the time or energy to do it solely for myself (how sad is that?). But I'll do it for my son. And doing it for him is helping me across the board in all other areas of life.
, and he is totally comfy with that. If you're comfy with what you're doing, keep it up! 
