12 month old and temper tantrums?

[Channelle]

She just turned a year, and seems like all she does is throw tantrums, I'm just shocked someone so young would act like this. Is it normal?

We practice gd, she has never been hit or yelled at (she's just a baby!), and she hardly get's told no. When she (for the millionth time) tries to hit (for example) all I do is say hands aren't for hitting, and I like loving touches (and then take her hand and kiss it, and caress my cheek. I redirect all the time, stay very patient, I make sure I don't say no too much, I praise her all the time, I think I'm doing everything right, but...

She has tantrums ALL.day.long! And when I say throws a tantrum, I mean she'll throw things, flail around, hit out, flop to the ground and cry/scream. If she gets frustrated by a toy, If she can't open the cabinet, if she can't hit me, if I won't let her play with the blinds, if I won't let her touch the television, if anything happens at all, she throws a super tantrum. Right now it's a little past 3:30, and she has already thrown 12 tantrums.

I don't know where she gets all this aggression, but I think part of her is just this way, she's very intense. She's always moving, she's very active. We don't have a television, and she doesn't see people get aggressive, is it normal? I know people say babies have tantrums, but I thought it was closer to like 2 or 3 years old, not a year! I'm at my wit's end, I don't even know how to react to her when she's like that. I can't distract her when she heads like this, she just gets so manic.

Usually I just let her tantrum, and then just hug her and tell her those were big emotions she was feeling, and that I loved her, and let's try playing with this now, etc.

Any advice?

[tropicaldutchtulip]

I would start to figure out the "why" way before it starts. There is always a reason behind them and you need to be able to see the signs and head it off before hand. We try very hard to head them off so they don't even start, and are very successful at it. We had one in the car today because my mom did not know what to do and I was driving. I was trying to tell her but it was too late. It was a small one, but mom had no idea what to do. I was trying to talk to her the whole time while driving and ask her questions about what she wanted and about her feelings. But for us that is very rare. And I don't let them just "tantrum" on their own if they try to, I address it as soon as it starts if I didn't catch it in time and talk to them during it and try to sit down and hold them. That helps my girls not to get so frustrated and it get to out of control. There is a reason behind them and I'm sure she is giving you signs way before it gets to that point. Is she bored, hungry, sleepy, etc? Try to start paying attention to the little signs that she gives off before hand. There are plenty of warnings! We just have to learn what they are for our child/children There is something she is trying to tell you and she can't get it across. Also I always acknowledge their feelings and we talk about them even if they can't talk back. At least they know I'm trying and help them and not just dismiss their feelings with a brush off and a general phrase. They don't understand that. Have you tried sign language? That helps my girls too since children can sign well before they can speak.

HTH's some, I know it's hard {{HUGZ}}

[llauzier]

I agree with the reply above (for some reason my browser reset itself and I can't see it now). My 17 month old began throwing tantrums at the same age, I couldn't believe how my gentle little baby changed. We don't watch TV either.

So I spent a lot of time today asking questions and trying to understand why the frustration would build up to such an intense level and we actually only had a few "protests" rather than tantrums, even leaving the playground was smooth! It reminded me of how attentive I was when our son was an an infant, I tried to remedy his every whimper and cry, and as he's become more independent I've taken advantage of having some time to myself (in the same room of course) and realize I need to be as attentive when things start going nutty. It's hard. Take comfort in the fact that your asking & concerned, moms tend to be hard on ourselves.

[Channelle]

Thanks, I think she just gets really tired and cranky really. She's so intense all the time, I forget she needs her naps. I let her choose her own nap schedule, meaning I don't rock her to sleep, but let her just crawl to her blanket and fall asleep when she gets tired. She's slowly started skipping her morning nap, and just sleeping a longer afternoon nap. But today I decided to go ahead and rock her to sleep around her usual morning nap time, and she went right to sleep, and so far has been really happy!

I try not to tell her no too much, and instead tell her what she should be doing...ie "Kitty doesn't like to be hit, can you pet her nicely?", and try to talk about her feelings and everything. I tried to do sign language, but I don't think I was diligent about it, but she has never picked it up. Maybe I could introduce it again...like the signs for feelings?