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I'm BORED

post #1 of 30
3/27/09 at 1:19am
Thread Starter 
Being a SAHM is the most rewarding job I've ever had. I am happier now than I've ever been. Money's tight but I'm so grateful my husband is willing to live on just his income so the kids and I can be together all the time.

My son is 39 months and daughter is 7.5 months. We tend to meet up with other moms and kids most days. If we're not having a playdate (at the park, a house, the zoo, other locals,) we're going to story time, open gym, children's museum, etc.

That all said, I'm bored these days. I don't want my baby to be with a sitter yet. My husband gets home at 5 and goes to bed at 8. That doesn't leave much time for anything besides dinner and baths. My husband goes bike riding Saturday mornings and I get a couple hours Saturday afternoon to go to a cafe with my laptop (I'm working on a novel.) Reality has gotten in the way the last couple Saturdays, but I should get this Saturday.

The days seem to be dragging. The kids almost never nap together. My son is high energy (not ADHD, just BOY) so I'm spending lots of time trying to entertain a baby and keep her safe from big boy energy. If I try and do a project with my son, the baby wants attention. As soon as one corner of the house gets clean, it is immediately cluttered.

I'm so looking forward to the baby being old enough to really play with her big brother. Yet I feel like I'm squandering her baby phase.

I don't cook anything interesting. That'll come back someday. So food is same easy stuff over and over My house plants need attention. The dog needs a rabies shot. I'm not even considering a garden until the baby is older--if I can't care for a philodendron inside, how can I care for a tomato plant in the hot Arizona sun?

Anyway, the days just sort of drag by and I'm wanting more. Because of our choices--no childcare, no babysitter, etc., I feel limited in my options.

I'm not sure how coherent this posting is. I'm falling asleep as I write it. I guess I just want to hear how bored other SAHM are or how you avoided boredom.
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post #2 of 30
3/27/09 at 1:23am
I went through a period of really intense boredom when my kids were about that same age. It was like the honeymoon was over. Luckily for me Hubby understood and offered to take the kids on his lunch break so I could take a class on campus (we live in a college town and Hubby works on campus). So I'd drive into town, hubby would take the kids and car and I'd attend class several days a week. I took Calculus because it seemed like a good brain challenge and it was wonderful! It felt SO good to use my gray matter. I did homework during nap-time and in the evening and I had a blast. It really helped with the boredom.

Now that my kids are older, they are better company and I feel less bored. Does that help?
post #3 of 30
3/27/09 at 8:36am
I agree with the previous poster about taking a class. I have done the same thing. The local University has a lot of great informal classes, and your parks and rec might offer something too. Most of the classes are inexpensive and often times you can find a few that are free.

It's nice to have something on the schedule for yourself that takes priority. Not priority over your children's needs of course, but priority in the schedule.
Taking a class gives me something to look forward to, and it gives me a reason to actually do my hair.

Next week a friend and I are taking kayaking.
post #4 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:07am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whistler View Post
It was like the honeymoon was over.
A class is a great idea as that is how I've always found stimulation.

Here's where I "yes, but..." There's no time in our schedule. My husband gets home at 5 and goes to bed at 8. That is our only family time and most of it is spent on dinner and baths. He can't consistently take the kids to work with him. At least not during the baby phase. They don't nap at the same time. As a matter of fact, the baby barely sleeps if I'm not holding her. If our son doesn't nap, he goes to bed at 7, then it's baby time. I was lucky last night that she went to sleep in the ergo by 8:30. I had some time online, but then I was literally falling asleep at 9:30 as I typed my original post.

I'm usually one for finding solutions, but this time I'll be surprised if there's anything to do besides wait for them to get older.
post #5 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:31am
Yes I feel very bored and DD does too. We usually give up around 10 and head over to my moms or MILs house. But they both have very busy households (kids still in the nest/homeschooling) so it doesn't really work.

I tried a rash of field trips to the science center, zoo, museum...didn't really work. In fact, it created a situation where I was super bored and super tired from taking 10 kids plus a baby to the zoo for a whole day.

Fortunately my next session of school started back up. I completed all my assignments for this week on Wednesday though and found myself literally pacing haha.

I went ahead and signed up for a 2x a week exercise class (mommy and me type) and I'm doing ebay again.

I know what you mean about worrying you are not doing much during the baby phase. It's bad when baby gets bored of you on top of it all.
post #6 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabysmama View Post
A class is a great idea as that is how I've always found stimulation.

Here's where I "yes, but..." There's no time in our schedule. My husband gets home at 5 and goes to bed at 8. That is our only family time and most of it is spent on dinner and baths. He can't consistently take the kids to work with him. At least not during the baby phase. They don't nap at the same time. As a matter of fact, the baby barely sleeps if I'm not holding her. If our son doesn't nap, he goes to bed at 7, then it's baby time. I was lucky last night that she went to sleep in the ergo by 8:30. I had some time online, but then I was literally falling asleep at 9:30 as I typed my original post.

I'm usually one for finding solutions, but this time I'll be surprised if there's anything to do besides wait for them to get older.
You could try an online class. My classes are online except the final exam.
post #7 of 30
3/27/09 at 12:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post
You could try an online class. My classes are online except the final exam.
If they'd nap at the same time that would be a great idea, but mine don't. I rarely get kid free time. When I get 20 minutes it is pure luxury.
post #8 of 30
3/27/09 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabysmama View Post
I'm not sure how coherent this posting is. I'm falling asleep as I write it. I guess I just want to hear how bored other SAHM are or how you avoided boredom.
Have twins.... you will never be bored again.

:
post #9 of 30
3/27/09 at 1:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmamacita View Post
Have twins.... you will never be bored again.

:
Oh, I don't know, I think someone can be bored in between the overwork. Then again, I don't have twins so maybe I can't even fathom that much work.
post #10 of 30
3/27/09 at 8:48pm
i totally get bored.

I think there is only so much knitting, crafting, playgrouping and fieldtripping that can be had before the part of my icu/trauma history kicks in and I want adrenaline, mental stimulation and political debates in the breakroom over coffee.

But I have so far put that off by arguing with my husband.

we both enjoy the banter.

but in all seriousness, I really find that the boredom creeps in when I am at my most overwhelmed moments.

I take 2 hours a night to myself for exercise. and that helps tremendously.

My house needs a SERIOUS cleaning. Like- I dont even know if I can ever do it kind of deep cleaning. Its not cluttered or messy.... but I am quite sure my mother would have a heart attack if she saw my baseboards. I have laundry to put away and dinner to cook and I am online because I am bored and really want to chat about SOMETHING.

so- yep- bored.,

no ideas on how to fix it other than to fight with dh, exercise and avoid responsibilities.

hth
post #11 of 30
3/27/09 at 8:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tallulahma View Post
no ideas on how to fix it other than to fight with dh, exercise and avoid responsibilities.

hth
Well, I'll avoid the fights with dh. I was getting 12 minutes of exercise in the mornings, but I've been sleeping in too late for that. But that responsibility thing...I'll think about that while I feed the chickens. (LOL)
post #12 of 30
3/27/09 at 9:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabysmama View Post
If they'd nap at the same time that would be a great idea, but mine don't. I rarely get kid free time. When I get 20 minutes it is pure luxury.
Any way you COULD get them to nap at the same time? Change their schedule maybe?
post #13 of 30
3/27/09 at 10:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dearmama22 View Post
Any way you COULD get them to nap at the same time? Change their schedule maybe?
Not likely. He (3 year old) often doesn't nap at all. Frankly, he goes to bed earlier and easier if he doesn't nap, so I prefer that, but don't interfere with him if he wants a nap. She's (7.5 month) not much of a napper either. Maybe half an hour a couple times a day. Longer if I'm holding her. Really, my kids just don't nap much. Today he took a 2 hour nap. She's sick and took a 3.5 hour nap--something she's never done before. I had two hours to myself. I read, read, read, cleaned, and read some more. It was heavenly.
post #14 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:01pm
This sounds really hard! I love being a SAHM but I don't know what I would do if I didn't get breaks away from my DD. I really think finding a way to get downtime is crucial for your sanity and for not burning out on the SAHM job. Can you and your DH brainstorm about this? Just wondering, is there a reason your DH goes to bed at 8, like he gets up super early for work? I'm just wondering if there's some way for him to be more flexible or generous in his schedule so you can get the time you need. Another idea...could you do a babysitting exchange with one of your friends? You take her kids one wed. afternoon, and she takes yours the next, or whatever works for you guys? I know money is tight, but would paying a mother's helper (a preteen neighbor etc) one morning a week be a possibility, so you could get some downtime to read or whatever in the other room?
post #15 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:14pm
No advice, but I have been a sahm for 8 years...I do all the playgroups and things but like you I am BORED lol
post #16 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:50pm
There's a huge difference between being busy and being mentally stimulated with what you're doing. I have lots to do. I rarely sit still for longer than a few minutes unless I'm nursing. I cook three meals a day, do laundry, cloth diaper, go to playdates, etc., but that's all just busywork. There's nothing there that's mentally stimulating. I *love* to read, but have so little time to actually do it. In my younger days, I could read a novel in two or three days. Now it takes at least a month, more often longer provided I'm still interested in it, and that's only if I can remember to take it into the toilet with me and get someone else to watch DS for a couple of minutes. I hear ya.
post #17 of 30
3/27/09 at 11:59pm
When DS was nursing I called him my "barnacle" because I felt like he never let go from birth to 8 months! My solution to needing mental stimulation was to sit on the couch and let him attach himself and then I'd get on my laptop and chat and play flash arcade games and write stories and whatever I could think of to engage my brain. DD would run around and play and interrupt me of course but I found it enough to keep from going stark raving mad. Although I seriously contemplated it from time to time!

As he got older and his nap schedule began to jive with her's it got easier. Now that she doesn't nap she still takes a quiet time in her bed with a stack of books and I can get a little break.

I find that keeping myself mentally healthy and stimulated to some degree keeps everyone else happier too because I am WAY easier to be around.

ETA: For moms who love to read but don't have time to sit down with a book, have you considered books on tape or narrated movies? Very entertaining and you can keep your hands busy with the little ones.
post #18 of 30
3/28/09 at 12:24am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whistler View Post
ETA: For moms who love to read but don't have time to sit down with a book, have you considered books on tape or narrated movies? Very entertaining and you can keep your hands busy with the little ones.
Books on tape! What a great idea.
post #19 of 30
3/28/09 at 1:10am
I listen to NPR or other talk radio while I am home all day. I agree a babysitting swap or gym daycare situation might work well. At our gym, you can go outside for walks, or you know reading (it is a mental workout) or calling a friend, whatever.
post #20 of 30
3/28/09 at 1:18am
I get bored sometimes too - I have been home with my DD for 14 months and I guess another 3 before that because I was having some problems in my pregnancy and left work early.

17 months - that's the longest stretch of time I have been without a paying job!

I love being a SAHM and I look around the house and see there is tons to do, I just cant get my act together to do them. One of these days.