"I just don't enjoy my children anymore" - Page 2

[love4bob]

Originally Posted by Smokering 

You don't have to have PPD, regular old depression or any kind of mental issues at all to feel this way as a parent. Every mother I know has said this at one point or another. Parenthood can be a long, hard slog.

Indeed.

I am depressed at the moment, and while I wouldn't say I never enjoy DD, I only enjoy her in short bursts. A lot of the time she's just... there... and a fair bit of the time she's actively annoying me and/or making me feel overwhelmed, resentful, guilty, irritable or a combination of them all. But even when I was less depressed - I'm not sure I've been officially not depressed since she was born - there were plenty of times I didn't enjoy her. That's just life. I don't see how one should be expected to "enjoy" carrying around a wailing infant, being woken up for the umpteenth time in the night, choosing between a shower and a non-screaming toddler, dealing with tantrums in the supermarket, making yet another sandwich... and sometimes, it feels like that's all there is.

This is me too.. I really think that I am depressed. I have three kids close in age(3, 2,10.5 months), and most of the time I am just dredging through the days giving them what they need. I'm also doing college full time online. I'm not really having any fun with them or at all really, I'm just making it through. Sometimes I just have to go in my room and hide for a little peace and clean up their destruction later.  My DH is deployed currently and won't be back home until July. He was home for R&R not long ago, and it was AMAZING. I forgot how wonderful it is to be able to share the responsibilities and actually get down time. Even if it's just going grocery shopping alone. I have at least 2 children will me ALL THE TIME. It is taxing! We just make it through the days. I keep telling myself that it will get better... it will right?! 

[Smokering]

love4bob: Dude, in that situation I think it'd be a miracle if you weren't depressed! Kids close together is really tough; having a deployed spouse is really tough; juggling kids and study is really tough. I mean, yikes! Any chance you could persuade your DH to become a plumber? :p

I always feel guilty on threads like this, because my situation is fine. DH works from home, I don't have to work, I only have one child - with no special needs or food allergies, and she's not a "hard" kid - and there's a decent gap between her and this new baby. We're OK for money, my family's great, I even have friends. Unlike you, I don't have anything "legitimate" to complain about - and yet, I'm depressed. I know intellectually that that's not how depression works - you don't have to be in a bad situation to be genuinely depressed - but it still makes me feel terribly privileged and whiny. And worried that if anything bad actually happens - like, if I have to have a C-section with this baby, or DD develops a dairy allergy, or DH stops getting clients - I'll TOTALLY lose it and end up squatting in a white room, drawing nooses on the padded walls with my own drool.

Ah, life.

ETA: If it's any consolation, I hear a lot of mothers say that parenting gets easier when the child turns 4. Your first child is nearly there... so maybe that's a light at the end of the tunnel?

[love4bob]

Originally Posted by Smokering 

love4bob: Dude, in that situation I think it'd be a miracle if you weren't depressed! Kids close together is really tough; having a deployed spouse is really tough; juggling kids and study is really tough. I mean, yikes! Any chance you could persuade your DH to become a plumber? :p

I always feel guilty on threads like this, because my situation is fine. DH works from home, I don't have to work, I only have one child - with no special needs or food allergies, and she's not a "hard" kid - and there's a decent gap between her and this new baby. We're OK for money, my family's great, I even have friends. Unlike you, I don't have anything "legitimate" to complain about - and yet, I'm depressed. I know intellectually that that's not how depression works - you don't have to be in a bad situation to be genuinely depressed - but it still makes me feel terribly privileged and whiny. And worried that if anything bad actually happens - like, if I have to have a C-section with this baby, or DD develops a dairy allergy, or DH stops getting clients - I'll TOTALLY lose it and end up squatting in a white room, drawing nooses on the padded walls with my own drool.

Ah, life.

ETA: If it's any consolation, I hear a lot of mothers say that parenting gets easier when the child turns 4. Your first child is nearly there... so maybe that's a light at the end of the tunnel?

Lol, I don't think the Army would just let him go! 5 more years and we are done though!

Yes, my 3 year old is my easiest, and I can see it getting better. She is old enough to listen and comprehend things. Lily is 2, and you know how 2 year olds are! She is all over the place and much more difficult than Meadow was at that age. I try to think about the long term and it will be great when they are older.