so how do you deal in a GDing way w/ non-compliance...here are some of my examples that have occurred w/ my dd & i...
*she insists on sleeping in the bed w/ ds & i. ds is 16 mos. old. dd is 6.5 yo. she has always slept w/ me but recently she mostly sleeps in her own bed very close by in same room. when she is adamant at bedtime (we all go at the same time...is just our thing) to sleep in the bed w/ us sometimes it's cool w/ me and sometimes i just want more space and to just 'be'.
i already have a toddler on the boob all night long and sometimes i just need this space. (we have a king sized bed but still it can get hot and crowded now that dd is bigger...)
i have tried explaining to her that i just need some physical space and that i don't feel like being a mama sandwich tonight, etc. she won't go for it. usually i'm so tired and obviously needing my own time despite having my toddler there and my dd is insisting and will not back down from sleeping with us. i get so frustrated.
sometimes i'll agree to have her in there & once she falls asleep i'll later move her to her bed. last night i was not even up for that...i just needed that space emotionally and physically. it was a rough afternoon w/ her behavior... (due to my own reactivity of course...sigh).
finally she did 'comply' but i think i threatened her. i can't remember...
mama brain syndrome...
today we napped together for 2 hours w/ brother and it was SO NICE. she rarely naps w/ me...i miss her doing that so that was a treat for us both.
so what do you do when your dc refuses to do what you insist...
another example is...
*my dd insisted on bringing her mattress down the stairs to see how it'd work in our living room as we had talked about having it in there...i had decided not to do that as my mom gets home late...my dd really wants her own room/space but in our small condo it isn't possible anywhere else but in our loft area upstairs where my bed is.
sooo...dd is insistant that she is bringing this mattress down. she winds up screaming high pitched at the top of her lungs like she does when she's p.o.'d w/ me and that she is not getting her way. (she gets her way a LOT...cuz i believe in this...and i think she doesn't see this a lot of the time...) i think she called me a horrible word that unfourtunately she learned from me and also from my ex. i've been very full of anger this past 16 mos. before she even got the mattress down i was flying up the stairs raging at her. 'nough said. my bad...i feel awful.
so HOW do we get them to respect our needs/wishes when NO means NO/absolutely NOT an option. i know...mattress brought downstairs wasn't such the big deal in all reality...she could have even slept last night down here but...i think i was annoyed w/ her nasty response back to me when i said no.
any input and/or advice?
thanks...onto creating a thread about triggers & calming things we can do to not blow up.
*she insists on sleeping in the bed w/ ds & i. ds is 16 mos. old. dd is 6.5 yo. she has always slept w/ me but recently she mostly sleeps in her own bed very close by in same room. when she is adamant at bedtime (we all go at the same time...is just our thing) to sleep in the bed w/ us sometimes it's cool w/ me and sometimes i just want more space and to just 'be'.
i already have a toddler on the boob all night long and sometimes i just need this space. (we have a king sized bed but still it can get hot and crowded now that dd is bigger...)
i have tried explaining to her that i just need some physical space and that i don't feel like being a mama sandwich tonight, etc. she won't go for it. usually i'm so tired and obviously needing my own time despite having my toddler there and my dd is insisting and will not back down from sleeping with us. i get so frustrated.
sometimes i'll agree to have her in there & once she falls asleep i'll later move her to her bed. last night i was not even up for that...i just needed that space emotionally and physically. it was a rough afternoon w/ her behavior... (due to my own reactivity of course...sigh).
finally she did 'comply' but i think i threatened her. i can't remember...
mama brain syndrome...today we napped together for 2 hours w/ brother and it was SO NICE. she rarely naps w/ me...i miss her doing that so that was a treat for us both.
so what do you do when your dc refuses to do what you insist...
another example is...
*my dd insisted on bringing her mattress down the stairs to see how it'd work in our living room as we had talked about having it in there...i had decided not to do that as my mom gets home late...my dd really wants her own room/space but in our small condo it isn't possible anywhere else but in our loft area upstairs where my bed is.
sooo...dd is insistant that she is bringing this mattress down. she winds up screaming high pitched at the top of her lungs like she does when she's p.o.'d w/ me and that she is not getting her way. (she gets her way a LOT...cuz i believe in this...and i think she doesn't see this a lot of the time...) i think she called me a horrible word that unfourtunately she learned from me and also from my ex. i've been very full of anger this past 16 mos. before she even got the mattress down i was flying up the stairs raging at her. 'nough said. my bad...i feel awful.
so HOW do we get them to respect our needs/wishes when NO means NO/absolutely NOT an option. i know...mattress brought downstairs wasn't such the big deal in all reality...she could have even slept last night down here but...i think i was annoyed w/ her nasty response back to me when i said no.
any input and/or advice?
thanks...onto creating a thread about triggers & calming things we can do to not blow up.
:
Unfortunately, it's also in our nature to put them last so everyone else's needs are met first. (ahhh! The giving nature of unconditional love. 
) I think it will be easier on nights you need space to explain that to your DD when she knows there will be another night to sleep with you. These wonderful creatures we love have a tendency to be all or nothing beings. "If I don't sleep with you tonight mama, I'll NEVER sleep with you again!" It sure is easier to appreciate that trait at 11 am than it is at 9 pm.
just a bundle of fun. she also is hard to get to sleep in the bed with us. what works is start off in your own bed and (i dont say if) when you wake up you are welcome to come in to my bed. sometimes i just cant handle that she cant settle then she is able to sleep in my bed alone and we come in after she is sleeping. if really tired then she will settle easy so i will allow her in my bed but she must be on her own side and give me space (i need it)
