I have a 13 year old son and an 8 year old stepdaughter. I've felt since I was two years old (my Mother can confirm this) that I was to have a daughter. (Interesting note here, my Mother miscarried my twin sister, so my 2 year old feelings may have been confused.) Anyways, I've felt since then that I would have a daughter. My Hubby decided he will not have any more children, but I don't ever see me leaving him. My son is "his" in every way except biological, and his stepdaughter I love more than life itself. But I still feel, and have unwaveringly felt since I was two, that I would be the Mother of a little girl someday. Now here's where it get's strange.
I've "felt" my daughter for as long as I can remember. The only time I didn't "feel" her strongly, was when I was pregnant with my son. For the longest time, I thought her name was "Hannah", after the woman in the Bible who wanted a child so badly, but couldn't have one, and then she did. I've thought of my daughter, "Hannah" for a long, long time.
Two years ago, my Hubby decided we would have no children together. A year and a half ago, my Mother started having dreams about a baby girl/little girl named "Mira". In every one of these dreams, Mira was my daughter and the dreams ranged from my Mother visiting me in the hospital with my brand new baby girl to Mira being lost and my Mother finding her and Mira asking me where her Mother (me) was. (Please note here, "Mira" is not a name I would have named my child at all. It's a pretty name, but not my kind of name, but the day my Mother referred to my daughter as "Mira", it felt like that was what it was supposed to be. Anyways, my Mother thought she was crazy, so she didn't mention these dreams to me for another six months or so.
My Mother and I are very close, but I had not told her about my Husband's decision at this point, and did not tell her about it until some time after she told me about her dreams, which was about a year after my Hubby made his decision.
Another year went by, my Mother kept dreaming, two or three times a month, about Mira. My Grandfather passed away in October, and my Mother's dreams about Mira stopped.
In December, my Mother dreamt about my Grandfather, and in her dream, asked him where Mira was. He said he didn't know. (My Grandfather has visited me, as well, in my dreams several times since he passed away.)
About a month later, my Mother dreamt about my Grandfather and Mira holding hands and walking. Mira told her, "I'm waiting for my Mom", and then walked off with my Grandfather.
Last week, I had a very vivid dream about Mira. My first and only dream about Mira. So vivid, I can recall every detail even now. I was walking in a garden type place, and I could "feel" my Hubby and two children behind me, but I could not see them or hear them, just "feel" them enough to know they were still there, know what I mean? Everything seemed to be in "tunnel vision", so I could only see straight ahead. A child, the size of a three or four year old came running up to me, so being a preschool teacher, I automatically knelt down to talk to her. As soon as she got close, I realized it was Mira, though she didn't introduce herself and nobody else was there to tell me who she was. She had wavy brown hair and MY GRANDMA'S EYES and she was wearing a blue and white flowery summer dress. She had a pointy little chin and tiny little teeth and not small, but delicate looking ears, her hair was down (interesting, 'cause I always swore if I ever had a daughter, I'd do her hair up every day, and I do alot with my stepdaughter), and she was wearing a blue and white flowery sundress. She happy and almost silly. She put her hands on my shoulders and I put my hands on her hips, but we stayed pretty much at arms lengh. She giggle and tilted her head to the side and then back, as only a very young little girl can do in a silly way, and said to me, "Silly Mom, don't you know I'll get there when I get there?" And then she giggled (in a sweet way, but in a way like she just couldn't figure out what I was so worried about) and turned and ran back towards where she came from, but off towards the left, so I couldn't see her anymore, but the last thing I heard before I woke up was her giggle once more, and then my GRANDFATHER laugh in return. And then I was instantly awake. (I don't wake up fast, ever!)
Two days later, my stepdaughter made a comment about wishing she could have a sister (not unusual in itself) and I said I didn't think it was gonna happen, but I wish so badly that it would happen, and my son replied, "You just need to wait until it's time. It will happen."
And the timing of the dream was at a time when I'm least thinking of children, and at a time where I don't usually fall asleed. (Let's just say, my Hubby and I had just fallen asleep after spending some "adult time" together.) And the instant I woke up, I felt such a feeling of peace, such a feeling of "I've been holding my breath, but now I'm breathing again". Does that make any sense?
Sooo..... what does everyone think of my dream or whatever it was? Could Mira really be my spirit baby, my someday daughter, or does my Mother and I just have very overactive imaginations or maybe we're suffering from some kind of delusions? If this is my spirit baby, then what now? Will she give up and decide to stay with my Grandfather or go be born to someone else if it takes too long? If it's all in our imaginations, what about the coinsidences? Thoughts, anyone?