anyone else feeling blue?

[JillyD]

I hate these baby blues! I know that they are totally normal but I am still finding them difficult to deal with. I started getting weepy when my milk came in 3 days ago. Yesterday was better but today i am weepy again. I seem to cry for no reason and just generally feel sad...often feeling sad that the amazing moment of birth has come and gone - that seems to be the trigger for me. This is our last baby so I don't have the "well, at least I know I will be doing it again" to fall back on this time. I keep telling myself that I am glad I don't have to go through another pregnancy or birth but I'm not really sure I buy it!

Man, the hormone ride labor, birth, and new baby brings you on is astounding. Anyone else out there feeling sad? And tips on how to deal with it? I remember feeling blue after DD was born but it was later on and lasted a while (til she was about 8 weeks old)...i really dont' want it to last that long this time

[YayJennie]

You're not alone mama! I have been crying on and off since my milk came in as well. And yeah, it's not like anything is particularly upsetting, it's just everything is overwhelming, and I'm exhausted and still in pain. Plus, I have a hacking cough (I've been told it's normal due to hormones and my lungs having more room, but it SUCKS). So I'm just not feeling 100%, not even 50% really. Wyatt is only 5 days old, so I know it will get better, but man, this first week is a lot rougher than I thought!

I hope you have someone to talk to/cry to. My husband has been here for me 100%, which is the only way I get through these hormonal fluxes. Also, I am staying in bed. Even when I feel good, I don't do anything, because when I do, I end up feeling way worse later. Every time I feel good, I just remind myself that this is what I'll be feeling like all the time, as soon as my hormones regulate.

I hope you can make it through this ok. But get help if you need it! I have a therapist that I will be seeing weekly for the first few months, just to watch and make sure I don't develop serious PPD. I don't think having a therapist "just in cast" is a bad idea at all. Good luck.

[Conchobhar]

Yup. Got it here, too. Mine hits worse when the sun goes down. Thankfully, it seems to be lessening up a bit, but I'm looking into a therapist to make sure it doesn't get bad. My SO has been wonderful and very understanding. Everything's just so overwhelming right now and part of me keeps thinking about how much my life has changed...It's tough.

[texanatheart]

Aww, I'm sorry, Mama. I'm another one who's been experiencing some baby blues. It was bad 1 week into it, and off and on since. I had my placenta encapsulated, and I've been taking the capsules daily since about 5 days pp. Not sure if it's helped or not... I've only got about another 10 days or so left of them. Also, having baby at home helped keep them at bay, but I've definitely still had my moments. With ds1, I had some serious issues 3 months pp because of several other stressors (moving into a new house, returning to work, my job title changing last minute, arguing with dh because of all the stress floating around in our lives, etc). I don't expect anything crazy to happen this time around...so far, so good.

For me, it helps if I have some sort of routine to my day. It's actually been 'easier' this time around with a toddler because I have to have a routine with him, for his sake. And he keeps me a bit distracted from baby, whereas with ds1 I was feeling like I should be occupying his attention, and I got sort of bored. Not that I don't want to play with or attend to baby!!! I meant that in a good way. Wearing baby has saved me also this time around.

Sorry for rambling!! I hope you get to feeling better!

Originally Posted by YayJennie

Plus, I have a hacking cough (I've been told it's normal due to hormones and my lungs having more room, but it SUCKS).

Really?! I've had this weird hacking cough for 2 or 3 weeks now, too. What's weird is that I feel totally fine otherwise. That's an interesting take on it. It does suck, though!!

[JJ'sMom]

I am taking Evening Primrose Oil to help. It seems to be working. I am taking 4 a day. Plus I have placenta to top me up if it is getting rougher.

I have a history of PPD, so I am being proactive in my management.....

[birthangeldoula]

(raising hand)
Motherhood is so much different than I thought it was going to be.. I thought I'd be over the moon about being a new mommy, but have only found it to be anxiety provoking at this point. I've been having panic attacks daily, and haven't been taking good care of myself. I rarely eat, I want to sleep all the time, and I'm in a state of constant worry. These feelings go away don't they??

[YayJennie]

Originally Posted by texanatheart

Really?! I've had this weird hacking cough for 2 or 3 weeks now, too. What's weird is that I feel totally fine otherwise. That's an interesting take on it. It does suck, though!!

I'm also figuring it is on account of screaming at the top of my lungs for about 5 hours of labor I'm only 5 days pp, so I'm hoping it goes away, but yeah, no other symptoms, so I'm not worried.

My dad came by to encapsulate my placenta today, so I should be able to start taking that soon as well. I had completely forgotten about it with the new baby!

[Devaskyla]

Off & on. When it gets bad, I take some of the placenta I dried & encapsulated. Seems to help a lot. Not looking forward to when I run out.

[JillyD]

anyone know if you can still dry & encapsulate a frozen placenta? I'm not sure I can deal with it now...and my placenta is already frozen. Gosh...i wish i had just eaten some of the thing before it went into the freezer...though, i'm not sure that i could have actually ingested it raw or in a smoothie.

[GoGoGirl]

I am. Every night I cry, especially when everyone else is asleep and it's just me and Lucy. I'm sad that she's not inside me anymore, and that she's not going to be a newborn forever. I want her to stay curled up like a peanut forever! My mom's here right now, but she's leaving in a few days, and that really scares me too. I don't think I can do this without her, and we don't have any family in town to fall back on.

I do have the placenta in the freezer, waiting for me to get around to encapsulating it. And the other thing that helped me was making sure my husband took good photos, portrait style, of me with Lucy. Most of the ones we'd had were candid and they weren't beautiful or touching or anything. Now I know that even though she won't be a newborn forever, I'll have beautiful pictures to cherish of this time.

I still have a bunch of EPO, would it help to take it?

[JillyD]

GoGoGirl - i had the SAME feelings you are having when DD was born and for some time afterwards. I really didn't want her to change because i loved the newborn stage so much. Plus, everyone was saying stuff like "oh, this is such a special time" (which it is) and "enjoying it because they grow so fast"...which, honestly, I dont' really agree with. The grow at the perfect rate and it's wonderful to see them change. Trust me, you don't want them to be newborns forever! All the ages are just amazing and it really does get better and better. DD is 3 1/2 now and it is just amazing watching her grow and learn.

That said, I have these feelings again with DS...though, this time I know this our last baby so I don't have the "I'm going to have another one someday" to fall back on this time around. I'm a bit worried what it is going to feel like to pack up these tiny newborn clothes and know that this time, I won't be saving them for someone else. Also, it's hard to leave this little bubble of wonderment I just experienced...the birth, the new baby sounds, and even the recovery of my body. It's crazy how sudden it is going from pregnant to not pregnant after 9 months of growing this baby.

It's okay though - because, watching them grow up is the best thing ever and because we will always remember this time fondly. Also, my guess is that you'll (and me too!) will start to feel better about them growing up as time goes on and you'll be excited to experience the next stage...you'll also probably be ready for it when it comes!

[mom2tatum]

me too. nak. i am 8 d pp. mine is mostly about mourning the loss of the same old "just you and me" relationship with my ds who is almost three...plus he grew up over the last few weeks potty learning himself and dressing and undressing himself - out of nowhere. A growth spurt physically and in language, too. I feel such a loss with him for all these reasons, and it hurts my heart SOOO much :cry to think he may feel this same loss towards me, too, since baby was born. I don't want him to feel neglected in any way...we have such a strong connected relationship, he is my baby, and my buddy. I am not having a hard time connecting with the new baby, but I am having a hard time emotionally with my ds, and its just breaking my heart every time I look at him for some reason. I guess its normal, but I am so sad about what we've lost, no matter how much I understand and remind myself what we've all gained. I hate imagining how ds must feel. He's doing ok, I guess, but definitely feeling a little less loved I think. He does not like dh to hold baby AT ALL, and always wants dh, not me. That hurts too although I know its all normal.

How have other mamas with other older children dealt with these kinds of feelings? I am trying to spend time reconnecting with him, but its SOO hard with a new needy baby especially since I am having to really focus on breastfeeding due to some latch issues. Ugh. Its so hard to juggle all this, and being sleep deprived.

[Purple Sage]

Originally Posted by mom2tatum

me too. nak. i am 8 d pp. mine is mostly about mourning the loss of the same old "just you and me" relationship with my ds who is almost three...plus he grew up over the last few weeks potty learning himself and dressing and undressing himself - out of nowhere. A growth spurt physically and in language, too. I feel such a loss with him for all these reasons, and it hurts my heart SOOO much :cry to think he may feel this same loss towards me, too, since baby was born. I don't want him to feel neglected in any way...we have such a strong connected relationship, he is my baby, and my buddy. I am not having a hard time connecting with the new baby, but I am having a hard time emotionally with my ds, and its just breaking my heart every time I look at him for some reason. I guess its normal, but I am so sad about what we've lost, no matter how much I understand and remind myself what we've all gained. I hate imagining how ds must feel. He's doing ok, I guess, but definitely feeling a little less loved I think. He does not like dh to hold baby AT ALL, and always wants dh, not me. That hurts too although I know its all normal.

How have other mamas with other older children dealt with these kinds of feelings? I am trying to spend time reconnecting with him, but its SOO hard with a new needy baby especially since I am having to really focus on breastfeeding due to some latch issues. Ugh. Its so hard to juggle all this, and being sleep deprived.

I felt the same way about my ds, too. He's 2 years old, and it was really hard on him when Piper was born. The only thing I've cried about since Piper's birth was about how the relationship between ds and I changed so drastically overnight. It's been hard, but things have gotten a LOT better over the last couple of weeks. The first two weeks were the hardest for us. I was really surprised about feeling like that this time because I never felt like that before, and this is my 4th baby not my 2nd. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and it does get better!

[lanielayne]

You definitely have to allow for an adjustment period with kids. Everyone here is going through it, especially my 2 yr old. Funnily enough, I love her even more seeing how pudgy and beautiful she is at this age as I now see her in a different light.

I haven't gotten weepy but now reality has hit and I am starting to worry about things besides pregnancy and baby. I am going to have to find a way to bring some money in so I am stressed about that.

[filiadeluna]

I am mourning the "just you and me", too, but with my husband, as this is our first child. I love my husband and my daughter both sooo much. They each have half of my heart. It has been incredibly difficult to not be able to give/have attention from DH as much as before. In some ways this whole experience has brought us closer, but in other ways it is distancing. The only way we are dealing is by talking through our feelings, which we are thankfully both good at. It pains me so much to hear my husband say that he feels neglected, although he says he doesn't blame me b/c he knows that the baby has to come first since she is completely dependent on me.

My husband and I always have been best friends above anything else, and it really hurts to see him hurting/lonely. Right now he's not able to be as close to DD either, since I'm her sole food source. I have tried to explain to him not to take it personally when she cries for me, and that I know they will be close in time, but that's hard for him to see right now. I am trying my hardest to let him know every day how much he means to me, and to remind him that the reason our daughter is here is because we love each other so much and wanted to share that love with a child as well. Things are improving, but it's just tough right now.

No matter how people explain to you how life changing having a child can be, you can't understand it until you have your own child. It is bittersweet. That is the best word I can think of to describe it, and I hope I don't sound like a bad mom for saying so. Both my daughter and my husband mean absolutely everything in the world to me.

[Conchobhar]

Originally Posted by filiadeluna

I am mourning the "just you and me", too, but with my husband, as this is our first child. I love my husband and my daughter both sooo much. They each have half of my heart.

Exactly. I now know how the Grinch felt when his heart grew two sizes. I feel like my heart is just exploding with how much love I have for my SO and my DD. And yes, it pains me, too, to feel like my SO is getting neglected.

[texanatheart]

Originally Posted by filiadeluna

I am mourning the "just you and me", too, but with my husband, as this is our first child. I love my husband and my daughter both sooo much. They each have half of my heart. It has been incredibly difficult to not be able to give/have attention from DH as much as before. In some ways this whole experience has brought us closer, but in other ways it is distancing. The only way we are dealing is by talking through our feelings, which we are thankfully both good at. It pains me so much to hear my husband say that he feels neglected, although he says he doesn't blame me b/c he knows that the baby has to come first since she is completely dependent on me.

My husband and I always have been best friends above anything else, and it really hurts to see him hurting/lonely. Right now he's not able to be as close to DD either, since I'm her sole food source. I have tried to explain to him not to take it personally when she cries for me, and that I know they will be close in time, but that's hard for him to see right now. I am trying my hardest to let him know every day how much he means to me, and to remind him that the reason our daughter is here is because we love each other so much and wanted to share that love with a child as well. Things are improving, but it's just tough right now.

No matter how people explain to you how life changing having a child can be, you can't understand it until you have your own child. It is bittersweet. That is the best word I can think of to describe it, and I hope I don't sound like a bad mom for saying so. Both my daughter and my husband mean absolutely everything in the world to me.

Well said, Mama.

[JJ'sMom]

For those asking, take the EPO as it does help. Frozen placenta still works.

I am 20 days pp now and the blues cleared, but I need to mourn the changed relationships between ds1, ds2 and me. However, I feel I have no time to deal with that, so....it lingers. And is tough on all of us.

Ah well. This too, shall pass.

[JMJ]

I was fine until last night 3.5 days PP. This afternoon, I upped my encapsulated placenta dose, and I'm starting to feel a bit more in control.

[JillyD]

JMJ - it hit me around that same time too (blues usually come about the same time as your milk). Since then, it's been a damped oscillation...one day good, one day not so good, each bad day getting better. So, here is to hoping this will end soon!