I believe in CLW...but having a really hard time

[amandapearl]

I am still nursing my 2 1/2 year old daughter, Maya, but I am about 10 weeks pregnant and having a really hard time. I have always figured she would wean when she was ready, figured I would probably end up tandem nursing, and I have never minded nursing her....except that since I have gotten pregnant it is VERY painful for her to latch and usually for the first minute or 2 of nursing... after that it is tolerable once again. We have tried lots of different positions, and someone recommended a hot shower pre-nurse...nothing seems to help us.

Also, I am feeling very nutritionally drained by the long periods of night and early morning nursing...I sleep just fine, but wake feeling very exhausted from a nutritional standpoint...and I make sure that we both have a pre-bed nutritious snack involving complex carbs and protein. Also, if i get out of bed at night I make sure to have a snack.

I have tried to explain to Maya that the nursing sometimes hurts, or mommy needs a short break to make more milk, but she gets into hysterical tearful sessions that feel bad for both of us.

I am a stay at home mom, and try to have lots of fun activities and distractions for her, as well as offers of food and drink first if she asks to nurse...sometimes she accepts, sometimes not.

Not sure what more I can do to get us back to a point where the nursing is working for everyone...but all suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!

[syn_ack89]

Subbing because I am in about the same situation.

[ElliesMomma]

i'm 15 weeks pregnant and things are starting to settle down. the first few months were tough. i am still tired but not so completely drained as i was. also, she has adjusted to having less millk, so is not waking up every night at 3 am asking for something to eat (grapes, pancakes, whatever). i think she has adjusted by eating more during the day. she still nurses many times a day. the initial latch on is a sharp pinch but it gets better the longer she stays on.

if you are truly committed to keeping going, just suck it up for awhile. i think it will get better. it has gotten a little better for me, to the point where i'm starting to feel "alright" if not "pretty good." good luck!!

[TiredX2]

Honestly, while I was pg with DS I took the painful nursing times as a chance to practice my relaxed breathing for labor I do, though, think that at 2.5 there can be a lot more give and take in the nursing relationship than at a younger age. I found that with my daughter that while the number of times was hardest for me (especially after DS was born, it was just physically hard to nurse her every time DS wanted to nurse) she handled the limits much better if she knew that *at some point* during the day she would get a wonderfully long nursing session that I would not curtail. DD was also the first person besides DP & I to know we were pg (at 6-7 weeks), though, so how we handled the pregnancy was a bit different than most. In fact, DD had even asked for a sibling and said that one side was for her, and the other for the baby before I even got pg (yes, she very kindly claimed the fuller side for herself, lol ). Especially as my milk supply dwindled, though, and I got much larger we talked about the delicious new milk the baby would bring and how much better nursing would be when it got there.

[amandapearl]

Thanks for the input and support. Maya also knew about the new baby as soon as we did, and is genuinely excited and ready...on the other hand, she has always had a rather intense and high needs personality...when, in the middle of an hour nursing session, i explain to her that mommy needs a quick snack (which can be as fast as a handful of nuts grabbed from the kitchen) to keep making her milk, sh melts down and screams and cries "no mommy eat"....and this is from a child who is (when not dealing with nursing) an easy and joyful pleasure to be around (as long as it is with a lot of undevided attention). Anyway, I take encouragement from your remarks, that hopefylly in a month or 2 she will developmentally ready to give some more (and a bit less take)!

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by amandapearl

when, in the middle of an hour nursing session, i explain to her that mommy needs a quick snack (which can be as fast as a handful of nuts grabbed from the kitchen) to keep making her milk, sh melts down and screams and cries "no mommy eat"....

I was not pregnant, but around that age DS was really into getting me a drink so I could make more milk. Do you think she would like to help you? Maybe something like, "It looks like you need more milk! What do you think I should eat so you can get lots and lots of yummies?" She can help get you some water, or a snack and most toddlers love to help. Maybe you can talk about it while you're not nursing too and let her pick a place for your "milk snacks" so she can get them for you. DS got to a place where he would come to nurse at night and then jump out of bed and run and get me a glass of water so I would "make more milk" before he wanted to nurse.

[amandapearl]

I really like that suggestion! She does love to help, so that gives her an activity, instead of her waiting for me...definately one to try. Thanks!

[foreverinbluejeans]

I like the idea of Maya helping get snacks. Perhaps you could stash some snacks and drinks where you will need them.

It sounds like she is a verbal, emotional (hysterical) child. There are some important things to avoid. Don't go overboard on the big sister, helper label. The older child can be made to feel they have to love the new child they may or may not want and they have to give up their position in the family and be the big sister and helper. They may play this role but not really like it and act out.

It is probably best to let her know that mom and dad will take care of the new baby and have enough love for her and the new baby. Let her get used to the baby and don't force her to kiss the baby.

[eks]

good tandem nursing book

There is a good book (LLLI publication) about tandem nursing, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flowers.

[bendingbirch]

My local LLL group just held an entire enrichment meeting on the topic of "Nursing During Pregnancy and Tandem Nursing" this week - you may want to check in with the LLL Leaders in your area and see if they have any upcoming meetings on this important subject!

[Reg1123]

Originally Posted by eks

There is a good book (LLLI publication) about tandem nursing, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flowers.

I'm not in your shoes, but just wanted to second Adventures. It's a good read that I think you may find worth while.

Good luck, mama.