I'm not even sure where to start or what to write 
Basically DD1 (2.5y) is just not behaving and sees most instruction has a challenge to be confrontational about. I don't know if I can sum it up but here are some examples:
1) Use of the words "go away" - too often, like every time we say something, quite often when it is something to her benefit - it's like she's just not listening and taking in what we say.
2) Generally not listening, so that offers of good things can turn into crying fits. Which means we usually have to raise our voices to "break through" to her.
3) Smacking both me and DP, that really annoys, especially DP
I've tried talking through these things with her "you don't really want me to go away, who would play with you/make dinner....", "when you hit me it hurts and you wouldn't like it if I hit you..."
How can I make her listen to what I am saying so that she understands I am not trying to pick a fight but trying to make her life easier or safer - we live on a farm and there have been times when she is not listening and willfully doing something that I thing will probably result in injury that I've just had to hoik her up by her collar and move her - not how I want to parent but then I'd rather BE a parent than a grieving mother IYKWIM.
Her little sister has just been born so I'm aware there are attention seeking issues at play, but some of this behaviour was going on before. Now that the good weather is here we've gone back to potty learning (which last summer went quite well but she just wasn't ready by the time the winter and all it's necessary clothing came), which isn't a trauma for her, but again I'm aware that there is suddenly a lot of emphasis on her growing up and being the big girl.
Now I know that she is perfectly normal (i.e. no special needs, I've worked long enough in the field to be confident about this) and that she is also just going through what we brits would call the terrible twos - but i hate the situation and when I imagine it through her eyes - urgh!- the distress she gets into is genuine, her mummy and her daddy look frustrated with her and then there is this new baby who gets nothing but love and attention and can do no wrong. She must feel so lonely, I remember feeling that lonely, my parents were very hard emotionally and physically with us and I can't bear the thought that she will grow up feeling so isolated as I did.
Sorry to ramble, pls GD mamas help me out and ask me the questions that i need to answer in order to sort this mess out.
TIA Sadystar
Basically DD1 (2.5y) is just not behaving and sees most instruction has a challenge to be confrontational about. I don't know if I can sum it up but here are some examples:
1) Use of the words "go away" - too often, like every time we say something, quite often when it is something to her benefit - it's like she's just not listening and taking in what we say.
2) Generally not listening, so that offers of good things can turn into crying fits. Which means we usually have to raise our voices to "break through" to her.
3) Smacking both me and DP, that really annoys, especially DP
I've tried talking through these things with her "you don't really want me to go away, who would play with you/make dinner....", "when you hit me it hurts and you wouldn't like it if I hit you..."
How can I make her listen to what I am saying so that she understands I am not trying to pick a fight but trying to make her life easier or safer - we live on a farm and there have been times when she is not listening and willfully doing something that I thing will probably result in injury that I've just had to hoik her up by her collar and move her - not how I want to parent but then I'd rather BE a parent than a grieving mother IYKWIM.
Her little sister has just been born so I'm aware there are attention seeking issues at play, but some of this behaviour was going on before. Now that the good weather is here we've gone back to potty learning (which last summer went quite well but she just wasn't ready by the time the winter and all it's necessary clothing came), which isn't a trauma for her, but again I'm aware that there is suddenly a lot of emphasis on her growing up and being the big girl.
Now I know that she is perfectly normal (i.e. no special needs, I've worked long enough in the field to be confident about this) and that she is also just going through what we brits would call the terrible twos - but i hate the situation and when I imagine it through her eyes - urgh!- the distress she gets into is genuine, her mummy and her daddy look frustrated with her and then there is this new baby who gets nothing but love and attention and can do no wrong. She must feel so lonely, I remember feeling that lonely, my parents were very hard emotionally and physically with us and I can't bear the thought that she will grow up feeling so isolated as I did.
Sorry to ramble, pls GD mamas help me out and ask me the questions that i need to answer in order to sort this mess out.
TIA Sadystar
