i feel sooo frustated w/ my mother!!! my dd was being so called 'rude' and my mom was acting out her annoyance...yelling at her and telling me its not ok. she said, "lisbeth! this is NOT ok!" i said "why not? that's OLD SCHOOL and you know it!" she said "which came FIRST, the chicken or the egg?!" (insert baffled smilie) and i just simply said... "well NOW there is the egg..." meaning, have some respect and back off... then my dd and i were playing hug tag & my mom starts in on my dd again saying "MEGHAN! stop running, the people downstairs are home!!!". we were not that loud...i was running on my tippy toes...she told my dd to walk. give me a break. i suggested my dd run on her tippy toes...we were just up and down our hallway...its slate. the neighbors tv was blasting earlier...they usually aren't loud. so when my dd kept going to my moms door saying "nah nah nah nah nah" teasing-like, i said "hey, megh, did you hug nanny or kiss her for tag?" and she said she did and i then heard "nah nah nah nah nah...". sigh...i told my mom to stop yelling at her... my mom said to me "she has NO RESPECT!" and i said that is because you are NOT RESPECTING HER! she said she doesn't agree. i said well she is treating YOU like that because YOU are treating HER like that...rudely and annoyed w/ her. she was totally refusing to see it that way.............its like my mom has PMS today. and she's gone thru menopause............anyway.....so then my dd stops being 'rude' and starts writing notes and slipping them thru the door to her that say "i love u nanny'. my mom ignored it. my dd keeps going there now saying I LOVE YOU NANNY! and my mom still ignores her. my mom has said in the past (and i bought it) that my dd plays us against each other like she did w/ my ex and i. well now that is just pure B.S. IMHO.
now my dd says my mom was crying happy tears.........i wanted to say GOOD. its about time she softened her heart to my dd. sigh.......... i had also told my mom she was being the same way my ex was w/ my dd.......i said i had almost no issues w/ megh when i UP'd her when we were w/ my ex.....i said the ONLY reason she has been behaving 'rudely' and defiantly is cuz i wasn't UPing totally and was inconsistent w/ her the last 16 mos. since my ds was born........postpartum depression on top of my mood 'dis-order'. i said now that i'm UPing its totally different. dd is happy and sweet most of the time...i can tell she feels accepted and loved unconditionally. i said T DID NOT accept dd when she behaved in a way he saw as unacceptable.
well screw that! i will continue to model for my mom... she is still being quiet...maybe she will be humble and apologize to us. then again, she is not too humble so we shall see. she can be so inconsistent and contradict the peace and love hippie she claims to be. which explains why i have a tendency to be like her...reactive and annoyed. its like a bad habit i want so badly to break in myself. (and my mother) i can't change her though so i'll just model model model.
oh that's another thing i heard my mom say is SHUT UP to her dog. yet its NOT OK for MY dd to say DUMB DOG!???????????????! double standard if i may say so myself. my mom is regressing to her generation of 'respect your elders' just BECAUSE its expected. i do NOT agree w/ this.
thanks for listening to me rant and rave.............i appreciate it. i'm learning so much about UPing and myself..........and my dd's needs.
ohhhh my dd is making a 'sign' for nanny again. I LOVE U NANNY. I LOVE U NANNY. I LOVE U NANNY............................................. .......... isn't that heartbreaking/bittersweet??? my dd is crying out to be loved unconditionally by her grandmother...........................i wish my mom would at least HUG my dd. it hurts to witness this! now dd is making a trail of shredded paper like a 'red carpet' and singing 'this is for you nanny....finally its your time now.........................'. my mom went to get the laundry from the laundry room.....wow, my dd is being so codependent...its like she's SCREAMING out for it now. this is sad to me. my dd should not have to do this to get some love from my mother!!! (*tears*) g foi told my dd she doesn't need to beg for nanny's love. sigh................i'll report what happens.............................sigh. my dd is telling my ds and i to hide........i said this is NOT our thing...this is YOUR thing. sigh.............................................. .......
my mom just said 'ok, i'm going......................................see you later' and just left for work. my dd said 'she liked it!'. i asked my dd what my mom did/said. my dd said she walked on the papers and she smiled happy tears.......................sigh. not good enough for my UP standards.
now my dd says my mom was crying happy tears.........i wanted to say GOOD. its about time she softened her heart to my dd. sigh.......... i had also told my mom she was being the same way my ex was w/ my dd.......i said i had almost no issues w/ megh when i UP'd her when we were w/ my ex.....i said the ONLY reason she has been behaving 'rudely' and defiantly is cuz i wasn't UPing totally and was inconsistent w/ her the last 16 mos. since my ds was born........postpartum depression on top of my mood 'dis-order'. i said now that i'm UPing its totally different. dd is happy and sweet most of the time...i can tell she feels accepted and loved unconditionally. i said T DID NOT accept dd when she behaved in a way he saw as unacceptable.
well screw that! i will continue to model for my mom... she is still being quiet...maybe she will be humble and apologize to us. then again, she is not too humble so we shall see. she can be so inconsistent and contradict the peace and love hippie she claims to be. which explains why i have a tendency to be like her...reactive and annoyed. its like a bad habit i want so badly to break in myself. (and my mother) i can't change her though so i'll just model model model.
oh that's another thing i heard my mom say is SHUT UP to her dog. yet its NOT OK for MY dd to say DUMB DOG!???????????????! double standard if i may say so myself. my mom is regressing to her generation of 'respect your elders' just BECAUSE its expected. i do NOT agree w/ this.
thanks for listening to me rant and rave.............i appreciate it. i'm learning so much about UPing and myself..........and my dd's needs.
ohhhh my dd is making a 'sign' for nanny again. I LOVE U NANNY. I LOVE U NANNY. I LOVE U NANNY............................................. .......... isn't that heartbreaking/bittersweet??? my dd is crying out to be loved unconditionally by her grandmother...........................i wish my mom would at least HUG my dd. it hurts to witness this! now dd is making a trail of shredded paper like a 'red carpet' and singing 'this is for you nanny....finally its your time now.........................'. my mom went to get the laundry from the laundry room.....wow, my dd is being so codependent...its like she's SCREAMING out for it now. this is sad to me. my dd should not have to do this to get some love from my mother!!! (*tears*) g foi told my dd she doesn't need to beg for nanny's love. sigh................i'll report what happens.............................sigh. my dd is telling my ds and i to hide........i said this is NOT our thing...this is YOUR thing. sigh.............................................. .......
my mom just said 'ok, i'm going......................................see you later' and just left for work. my dd said 'she liked it!'. i asked my dd what my mom did/said. my dd said she walked on the papers and she smiled happy tears.......................sigh. not good enough for my UP standards.
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: OH MAMAS!!! I WISH U COULD'VE seen the wonderful beaming light emanating from my megh-i called after to her as she walked out to ride her bike, "remember to stay on the sidewalk!" & then i said "wait!!! that sounded like an order...lets start over...tell me how u are going to stay safe..." & omg she BEAMED. and softened...it was amazing. she then gave me 3 or 4 ways she'd keep herself safe outside...wow, this UPing is so BEAUTIFUL. and so. utterly...LOVE-LY! 
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