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My abusive ex-boyfriend killed himself

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
When I was a teenager I was in an abusive relationship with a guy. I found out a few weeks ago that he shot himself during a police stand off in Portland Oregon. Here is a link to the news story:

I wrote a blog entry about my relationship with him and how I eventually came to forgive him (and myself for that matter) and what I learned from the experience as a whole. If you're interested, this is a link to the entry I wrote:


I hope anyone who might be recovering from an abusive relationship can read my story and maybe get something out of it. Some people have written to tell me they're having their teenage daughters read my story in the hopes they won't fall into the same trap as I did.
post #2 of 12
how lucky you are to have gotten a chance to have that last moment.
very touching
post #3 of 12
Wow - I read that whole story you posted on your blog and I am so happy that you have found peace in the end. I know exactly what you mean about being connected, for better or worse, to exes, and it must be such a relief to feel that connection being put to rest. I'm sorry to hear about what a life he led and how it ended. I know lots of people who have had similar life stories and at some point you just have to realize that no matter what you do, you can't really change things for them and just have to get away to stay safe and healthy and sane. It doesn't make it any easier to do, though. I'm very sorry that this all took place in your life and in his life, and well... I'm glad that it's over, for your sake. (NOT that I'm glad that he killed himself! Not that. But I'm glad you have closure and the "thread in the tapestry is complete" or however you phrased it in your first paragraph.)

post #4 of 12
(hugs) So glad that you are safe and got out of that relationship. What a tragedy that things went so badly for him.
post #5 of 12
I could not read your blog and not post.

What a beautiful heart you have.
post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 

yeah I am sad for what happened to him. He didn't deserve that kind of end. Maybe he was a vibrational match for it, but still...
post #7 of 12
vibrational matches?
what where?
post #8 of 12
amazing story. I'm sorry it al happened the way it did, but I'm so glad that he is ok now.

Your story sounded so close to one that I am still dealing with (I'm still realizing just how screwed up it all was...). My ex and i were together for 4 years. He is very unstable and he treated me like crap one second and like a goddess for a tiny bit in between. I worry about him. He is an amazingly smart young man (he's 20 now) and if he could straighten himself out a little, he would go very far. It's only been a little more than 6 months since I left him so I'm still trying to sort it all out... I really should have left much earlier than I did.

Thank you for telling your story. It really helped me to read about someone else's experience. It was amazing just how similar it all was. *hugs*
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by yogal View Post
vibrational matches?
what where?
Vibrational match just means that he was always running around thinking the police were going to get him one day, so he bought lots of weapons and survival gear, and look what happened? he manifested his own fear. That's being a vibrational match for something (positive or negative, works both ways).
post #10 of 12
post #11 of 12
You are an amazingly intelligent, strong, and brave woman!

I read your blog. The part about your meeting with him after his death was so touching. You are clearly a very special person.
post #12 of 12
You are an astounding inspiration. What a wonderful heart you have. Thank you for sharing.
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