We had Rory's memorial yesterday. it was a beautiful day here, warm and sunny but not too hot. On a day like this when she was healthy, Rory would have been out hiking and swimming with daddy all day.
The ceremony was small and private and she is buried next to her uncle John now.
It might sound strange, but the time since she's been gone, I've felt joyful, like a big weight is gone. There will be no more struggle for her, no more spinal taps, pain, or seizures. No more chemo, no more asking for no more chemo. No more bad dreams. no more hospitals. Just peace, happiness, and everything she could ever want. My partner has been handling it worse. He lost his brother just after Aurora was born and is just not dealing very well. He is at peace that Rory is in no more pain, but also suffering very deeply from her loss.
After Rory's service, we did something, impulsively, that I fear I'm going to regret. There's an ultrasound place not too far from where we live. I wanted real, tangible evidence of the baby I am 17 weeks pregnant with. Our son, John Altan Andrew Hughes, will be joining us in September or thereabouts. John is after DH's brother, Andrew is after DH, and Hughes is a family surname. As for Altan, it means the same thing as Aurora--dawn. Not only is this linking my children, who will never meet, together, it also has a powerful second meaning. When we meet baby Jack in September, it will be a new dawn for our family, another chapter.
Thank you for all of your prayers and general good wishes. I have not been a very active poster, but I love this board and all of the members.