How about a PTSD support thread? - Page 2

[3-StarSystem]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

I am so sorry that your trauma was not recognized for such a long time. How is your child now? I can't imagine going through something like that, and I can't imagine anyone denying such a situation being traumatic! I know what panic attacks feel like, though I haven't had any for years now, thank God. Do you know what kind of therapy you will be working through yet?

Thanks for the reply!

My ODS had seizures as a baby and eventually a stroke, and had a medication toxicity issue that almost killed him. He's fine now aside from some lingering issues from his stroke.

My youngest has cancer and he's doing pretty good, still in treatment and he will always be in a very high risk category but he's doing very, very well and living a near-normal existence outside of his treatments.

I have *finally* received some referrals for actual one-on-one psychiatric help, and I've actually been referred to a psychiatrist that's more along the lines of psychotherapy/cognitive behavioral therapy vs. drugs which are currently not an option for my due to my son's health status. (He's still frequently breastfeeding.)

I'm looking forward to it and I hope it helps. There are many issues aside from the PTSD that need to be addressed, but that's the most pressing for me right now because of how it impacts my abilities to be a caregiver.

[BeingMe]

I know this may sound unrealistic, but for me sugar makes my anxiety worse. I recently started a diet where you cut out most sugars and eat lots of coconut oil and it really has helped. Thought I should share this in case it can help others.

[doublewhammy]

MittensKittens, are you and your crew feeling better now? I was also nervous when I found out I was carrying boys (2 at once!). And like you, once I saw them, I just loved them. Mine were 7 weeks early, so they were really tiny. And I felt awful that they weren't still inside me.

I had more difficulty bonding with my daughter. Her vulnerability--as I saw it, because she was female, like me--made it harder for me to get close to her. I couldn't kiss her at first. I didn't have this problem with the boys (though I couldn't kiss them at first, either--they were in isolettes).

My daughter's birth was close to ideal--a nice, safe homebirth, while the boys were born in an operating room filled with people i didn't know (my husband wasn't even there!) on a steel table. You would think this would give her the advantage, bonding-wise, but it didn't. I do worry about how my past affects all 3 of them, since it's still affecting me.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by 3-StarSystem

Thanks for the reply!

My ODS had seizures as a baby and eventually a stroke, and had a medication toxicity issue that almost killed him. He's fine now aside from some lingering issues from his stroke.

My youngest has cancer and he's doing pretty good, still in treatment and he will always be in a very high risk category but he's doing very, very well and living a near-normal existence outside of his treatments.

I have *finally* received some referrals for actual one-on-one psychiatric help, and I've actually been referred to a psychiatrist that's more along the lines of psychotherapy/cognitive behavioral therapy vs. drugs which are currently not an option for my due to my son's health status. (He's still frequently breastfeeding.)

I'm looking forward to it and I hope it helps. There are many issues aside from the PTSD that need to be addressed, but that's the most pressing for me right now because of how it impacts my abilities to be a caregiver.

I am so sorry. Glad to hear your boy is doing well, but cancer must be so scary. Have you started therapy now? Do you feel you are totally ready for therapy?

[MittensKittens]

We've had a miserable couple of days here. The kids are better now, and so am I. But apart from being ill, I have also been feeling TOTALLY USELESS and have been having intrusive thoughts a lot. Yesterday it reached a peak and I decided the kids and I just had to get out the house so we went for a looooong walk. I sure feel better after that, but of course the lingering issues are still there. Not working is horrible too. Oh, and I had this nice conversation with my mom over the phone yesterday. More and more, I feel a total disrespect from her side towards me, and I have decided I need a break from her.

Doublewhammy, I hope you have managed to bond with your DD now. I didn't feel the same issues, fortunately. I did have an overwhelming feeling that my first baby HAD to be a girl. Thankfully she was. But now she is getting older, I am facing new challenges with her. Like yesterday, when we were walking, this creepy older guy touched her hair (here, everyone touches babies and young kids all. the. time. - so annoying) and said to her "You're a right little barbie, aren't you?". I wanted to hit him, or worse. I don't like the physical thing going on in this country at all. Men touching babies is something I have a real issue with. DD already knows not to let anyone touch her, and I want to make sure she feels she can talk to me about anything. I have learnt that from my experiences with my own mom - always to take your kids seriously and listen to what they are really saying.

[3-StarSystem]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

I am so sorry. Glad to hear your boy is doing well, but cancer must be so scary. Have you started therapy now? Do you feel you are totally ready for therapy?

Still waiting for the actual appointment following the referral. It's looking like June at the earliest, but at least it's something! Thanks for asking!

[MittensKittens]

How are you all doing? How was your week?

I've had a tough one actually, but I have also decided I have to stay on top of things and not give in. I am trying to do lots of nice things with the kids, going outside lots now the weather is better... Is there anything you do when you are feeling particularly out of it?

[doublewhammy]

A change of scene usually does me good. I like to be alone--I need to be alone--but with three young children that's impossible a lot of the time. I run, which is probably the best thing I can do if I can manage it. It gets me outside (I live in an incredibly beautiful place), it gets me some time alone (unless I'm pushing the twins in their double jogger) and it alters my brain chemistry. Plus, it's pretty much impossible to run and cry at the same time.

Creative work is also good. I write when I can, and that helps me to make sense of things.

And doing something nice for someone else helps. Reading a book to the kids, or taking them to the park. Sometimes we just take a walk and look at my neighbor's cows and their new calves. Spring comes late here, but I'm really looking forward to getting outside more often.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

How are you all doing? How was your week?

I've had a tough one actually, but I have also decided I have to stay on top of things and not give in. I am trying to do lots of nice things with the kids, going outside lots now the weather is better... Is there anything you do when you are feeling particularly out of it?

I've had a tough week too. dh is working late hours and it creeps me out to no end to be alone at night. :: A baby somehow makes it worse...as if the baby personifies vulnerability. I remember hating babysitting at night w/ only a baby as a teen. eek!

I try to keep busy....but I noticed right above me that another poster says she needs to be alone. lol I guess you just need to experiment w/ what works.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by doublewhammy

A change of scene usually does me good. I like to be alone--I need to be alone--but with three young children that's impossible a lot of the time. I run, which is probably the best thing I can do if I can manage it. It gets me outside (I live in an incredibly beautiful place), it gets me some time alone (unless I'm pushing the twins in their double jogger) and it alters my brain chemistry. Plus, it's pretty much impossible to run and cry at the same time.

Creative work is also good. I write when I can, and that helps me to make sense of things.

And doing something nice for someone else helps. Reading a book to the kids, or taking them to the park. Sometimes we just take a walk and look at my neighbor's cows and their new calves. Spring comes late here, but I'm really looking forward to getting outside more often.

Yeah, I need my alone time too. I don't mind my children though. They are part of me, and I still consider it alone time when they are there - when no tantrums are going on, that is . Exercise is something that really helps me as well. It gets the negative energy out and makes me feel better about myself. I used to run, and do an at home fitness program. Can't do that now though. Running is out, and I can't really do stuff like ab work outs either, because DD jumps on me! Now, I get no further than long walks and... vigorous housework.

I have been doing a lot of sewing lately and I love it! I just finished a bag that is a birthday gift for my aunt. I hope she will like it!

It sounds like you are living in a wonderful place. I grew up among cows and sheep and haven't seen them in years now. I especially like little calves and the way they lick your hands! But... being far away from the rest of the world also tends to drive me crazy. I want to at least have the option to be among people, kwim?

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

I've had a tough week too. dh is working late hours and it creeps me out to no end to be alone at night. :: A baby somehow makes it worse...as if the baby personifies vulnerability. I remember hating babysitting at night w/ only a baby as a teen. eek!

I try to keep busy....but I noticed right above me that another poster says she needs to be alone. lol I guess you just need to experiment w/ what works.

I'm sorry you are having a tough time! What do you do when you freak out at night alone, to eh... de-freak out? I don't like it when my internet connection doesn't work (happens about twice a month for a few days with my sat connection), the kids are asleep, there is nothing on tv... when you more or less get "forced" to think about things. Getting busy is good, but I find there is nothing much to be busy with in the middle of the night! What do you do?

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

I'm sorry you are having a tough time! What do you do when you freak out at night alone, to eh... de-freak out? I don't like it when my internet connection doesn't work (happens about twice a month for a few days with my sat connection), the kids are asleep, there is nothing on tv... when you more or less get "forced" to think about things. Getting busy is good, but I find there is nothing much to be busy with in the middle of the night! What do you do?

That's what teen siblings are for lol It's a good deal for both of us....they play videogames in the living room and get to have a sleepover. I can actually fall asleep.

Oh my I am such a scaredy cat lol!

Let me tell you though, the worse thing is on a normal morning (aka no siblings over) when DH leaves and I am half asleep. For some reason, DD will "act" scared and stare at the doorway, whimpering. It's enough to make a normal person go insane. :

I hope this week is going well for you!

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

That's what teen siblings are for lol It's a good deal for both of us....they play videogames in the living room and get to have a sleepover. I can actually fall asleep.

Oh my I am such a scaredy cat lol!

Let me tell you though, the worse thing is on a normal morning (aka no siblings over) when DH leaves and I am half asleep. For some reason, DD will "act" scared and stare at the doorway, whimpering. It's enough to make a normal person go insane. :

I hope this week is going well for you!

Teen sibs sound fun!

How have you been doing?

3-StarSystem, have you had an appointment yet?

[MittensKittens]

Just wondering how you are? Doublewhammy, how are you doing?

I have been dealing with some stressful issues lately, and that alternately makes me feel calm and focused, and panicky and despairing.

[doublewhammy]

Hi MittensKittens. Things have been going pretty well--until today. So I guess it's the same old roller coaster. Lots of stress, here too. Wish I handled it better.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by doublewhammy

Hi MittensKittens. Things have been going pretty well--until today. So I guess it's the same old roller coaster. Lots of stress, here too. Wish I handled it better.

Hey, glad to see you are still here, but sorry to hear you are stressed out. I have fallen into the wrong rhythm over the last week - can't sleep, and don't want to be alone with my thoughts, so I watch lots of tv to be able to get to sleep. It's late once I am ready to sleep, so I wake up late and am tired all day, which doesn't help...

[doublewhammy]

Hi. Sorry I keep disappearing, things have been really tough around here. My husband has gone back to work--he's a contractor, and didn't have any work over the winter. So I'm here with the twins all day and I'm having a really hard time handling the stress of being alone with two three year olds (and sometimes their sister). I'm realizing that I really need to get help--I'm not doing anybody any favors in the shape I'm in. But we can't pay the bills as it is--how am I supposed to justify paying a therapist? It's a terrible Catch 22, and needless to say the whole thing only adds to the stress. . . We're in some danger of losing our house to foreclosure, and my daughter's got some sort of lump on her finger that requires a visit to an orthopedic surgeon. YIKES!

On the plus side, the weather's finally gotten more springlike. We'll probably get more snow, but today is picture perfect. Soon as I get the boys bathed, we're headed out in the double stroller to see a little wildlife. That's about the only thing I can think of that will help me maintain. At least I can do that.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by doublewhammy

Hi. Sorry I keep disappearing, things have been really tough around here. My husband has gone back to work--he's a contractor, and didn't have any work over the winter. So I'm here with the twins all day and I'm having a really hard time handling the stress of being alone with two three year olds (and sometimes their sister). I'm realizing that I really need to get help--I'm not doing anybody any favors in the shape I'm in. But we can't pay the bills as it is--how am I supposed to justify paying a therapist? It's a terrible Catch 22, and needless to say the whole thing only adds to the stress. . . We're in some danger of losing our house to foreclosure, and my daughter's got some sort of lump on her finger that requires a visit to an orthopedic surgeon. YIKES!

On the plus side, the weather's finally gotten more springlike. We'll probably get more snow, but today is picture perfect. Soon as I get the boys bathed, we're headed out in the double stroller to see a little wildlife. That's about the only thing I can think of that will help me maintain. At least I can do that.

I am so sorry that is happening to you, that must be very frightening indeed. I hope you will be able to fend off foreclosure somehow - you know that there are all kinds of things you can do to prevent foreclosure. Including trying to sell your house voluntarily. Anyway, . Lump sounds scary - although it will probably be more scary for you than for DD.

I am dealing with some issues as well right now, I am having to get a DNA test done to prove my son is mine, because I had a UC and didn't see a doctor afterwards, and possible CPS issues. My flight or fight reflex is telling me to run, far away, but I now that won't do me much good. All of it is causing some anger problems for me at the moment, which I am not sure what to do with. What do you do when you have anger issues?

I know what you mean about nature helping you to keep going. I am glad for you the weather is better now. The kids being able to get rid of their energy in a positive way by running outside, exploring etc is a bonus too!

[Vishapmama]

Hi ladies. Earlier on in this thread, someone wrote:

"IF you find a therapist, make sure it's one who will give you homework, not just sit and talk to you. You have to be working some kind of program."

I don't agree with this. I think it is an individual thing. While CBT (the kind with "homework") might work for some, it won't work and won't be enough for others. It depends a lot on the individual, as well as on the kind of trauma. It also depends on when in the course of one's life or development the trauma occurred. It also depends on whether it was a one time thing or if it was sustained over a long period of time, and whether it was a random, accidental thing or an interpersonal thing, etc.

CBT can be helpful to a point, but for some folks it won't be enough. Trauma survivors eventually need to integrate what happened to them into their life narrative and it helps to have someone who is trained to listen in a way a psychodynamically-oriented therapist listens. I've worked with many trauma patients and have written and taught extensively about trauma and the process of recovery.

My best advice is to be open to whatever can be helpful to you at the particular time in your life. Will it help to talk? Will it help to connect with your body as in yoga or other mind-body work? Will it help to connect to others who've gone through something similar? Will it help to help someone else? Overcoming or transcending trauma is a process that is sometimes lifelong, but it can morph into something much deeper and more meaningful if you give yourself the time and space to explore.

Good luck and much courage to all of you who are on the journey of recovery.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by Vishapmama

Hi ladies. Earlier on in this thread, someone wrote:

"IF you find a therapist, make sure it's one who will give you homework, not just sit and talk to you. You have to be working some kind of program."

I don't agree with this. I think it is an individual thing. While CBT (the kind with "homework") might work for some, it won't work and won't be enough for others. It depends a lot on the individual, as well as on the kind of trauma. It also depends on when in the course of one's life or development the trauma occurred. It also depends on whether it was a one time thing or if it was sustained over a long period of time, and whether it was a random, accidental thing or an interpersonal thing, etc.

CBT can be helpful to a point, but for some folks it won't be enough. Trauma survivors eventually need to integrate what happened to them into their life narrative and it helps to have someone who is trained to listen in a way a psychodynamically-oriented therapist listens. I've worked with many trauma patients and have written and taught extensively about trauma and the process of recovery.

My best advice is to be open to whatever can be helpful to you at the particular time in your life. Will it help to talk? Will it help to connect with your body as in yoga or other mind-body work? Will it help to connect to others who've gone through something similar? Will it help to help someone else? Overcoming or transcending trauma is a process that is sometimes lifelong, but it can morph into something much deeper and more meaningful if you give yourself the time and space to explore.

Good luck and much courage to all of you who are on the journey of recovery.

How about any tips for those not able to get therapy for any reason? Self coping tips?