Overwhelmed!!

[heamae]

I am just totally stressed and overwhelmed today!! I just feel like I have nothing ready. I am 36 weeks and just started making my list of supplies I still need and it has me totally stressed. I need a birth pool and the stuff that goes with that, which my mw told me and I wrote down but forgot. Im scared Im not going to be able to do this and going to chicken out. I have a 4 year old and 2.5 year old that were hospital, epidural, births and I would really like them to be at the birth but they are always getting into stuff and not listening and I really dont want to be stressed about caring for them while trying to birth. They are also very very touch and if they see my bare belly they are touching it, slapping it, pushing on it. I try to get them to stop but they just like to touch my belly and me!! I dont know how I will handle that while in labor. I dont know how I am going to handle anything!!! What am I going to do with 3 kids!! Seriously my kids are terrible and I cant even go to the bathroom without them destroying something!! I wanted to have food frozen but we hardly have enough money to buy food to make daily!! I am really really hoping family will bring food to us after bc I dont know what we will do if they dont. Im worried about the MW fees and how we will pay for them. Im confused about what we owe and should talk to her but am scared. Gosh this sounds horrible. I just have a lot on my mind and have no one to talk to about it. I dont want to say anything to dh bc HB was my idea and he isnt totally on board so I dont want him to know I have doubts too.
Well I am going to get back to laundry, thanks for letting me vent a little.

[super mamabug]

Hugs mama, you're nesting! I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. Try to take deep breaths and speak positively to yourself.
Make a list of your concerns and address the ones that you can quickly.
1) Birth pool and supplies are listed at the top here in a sticky. Plus I'm sure you're mw will email you another if you lost yours.
2) Don't worry about freeze ahead food if cost is a factor. Make sure you have food that is easy for you/SO/guest to make. Baked Potatoes, pasta, cold cut sandwiches etc.
3) Most children are very silent during births. However, make sure they have a support person. You or DH should not have to worry about them during this time. If they bug you, someone should automatically whisk them away so you don't have to deal.
Ok that's the easy stuff. Midwives are usually very used to people with financial issues. They offer a service that costs a lot of money and usually isn't covered by insurance. They are often willing to work with you. Some will offer a sliding scale, others will barter for part of the fee, or work out payment with you until months after the baby is born. Talk to them, talk to your mw that is what she is for.

OK enough advice, what you really need is hugs and someone to say, it's ok you are doing great and you will be fine. Your kids are normal (mine destroy everything too), you are fine. Enjoy this last time with your baby all to yourself and it just happens. You keep waking up and your kids get older and hopefully you get smarter and you keep going on. Lots of love, sympathy and support!
Good luck and Happy Birthing.