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Moms of Many It's April! - Page 5

post #81 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by youngwife View Post
I have a question....how many on the m.o.m section have special needs children?
(..)
I guess I just need ideas on how to juggle it all!?!?!?

Thanks,

Rebecca
We have a couple of SN kids. One with severe SN in need of constant monitoring.
How we juggle it? Hmm, I have to think about that one, that's just not an easy question.
post #82 of 102
I don't know if mine counts as special needs and if it is, it's minor in that category but my 10 year old has ADD and sensory issues.. wont wear certain clothes or use particular silverware.. but she is able to help out...even though it takes 5 hours to unload the dishwasher most times. s
post #83 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiekisses View Post
Wait til my dear got home and either send him or go by myself probably. (With the newborn.)
Never send my dh shopping. Ever.

He will buy everything on the list, and the same dollar worth of junkfood. And a 20 pack of lightbulbs, JIC. And . And. And. He's like five years old.

I think I will go after he gets home. The creek in back is flooding and I don't want to leave the big kids home alone with that going on. Not that I think the house will be washed away, but if it reaches the basement and starts leaking, they'll freak out and not minimize the mess as it's happening. KWIM?

Great news is that my newborn definitely takes a nap from 6pm til 8pm, which is perfect timing to stay home with daddy.
post #84 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by youngwife View Post

I have a question....how many on the m.o.m section have special needs children?
We have several. It's neurological, as I mentioned before, my oldest has aspergers, then Bre has autism. Dan has aspergers as well, and Sam has adhd/dyslexia. Emily has social anxiety, but honestly it doesn't affect us day-to-day, it really just becomes an issue with shopping and making friends, she can cope with me around.

I think we're lucky, in that as homeschoolers, we've focused a lot on living skills and so everyone is pretty good at helping out. Even Bre can load/unload the dishwasher, help stir a cooking dinner, and she desperately wants to do laundry. She's mad because I won't let her, no matter what we've done she really just doesn't do it right and I don't want to rewash a dozen loads of laundry with too much soap, or not enough water, etc.

It'll get easier as your children get older, I know when mine were younger it was hard to see that there would ever be a light at the end of the tunnel, but Josh now handles his own drs appointments, has learned to advocate for himself, etc, and it's so nice.
post #85 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
End of the month, pay day and big shopping day. However, it's pouring down rain of Noahide proportions, and I'm trying to decide if I should put it off. It's hard enough taking the littles with me when it's raining, I can't imagine with a newborn and trying to wrestle $500 of groceries into the back of the truck.

WWMoMD? (what would Moms of Many do?)
I would go. But as I live in the PNW if I stay inside for rain I will never leave the house. If I had the choice to wait for nicer weather then I would wait.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
There is a mom in DD's preschool that has adopted two children and has one bio child in between. She just found out this year there is a one time $10,000 tax credit for adopting a child. You have 10 years to take it and can take it all at once.. or spread it out over the 10 years. Don't know if that helps with the money situation at all.. but you might want to ask your accountant about it.
We don't have the space right now either. I want to wait until we buy a house and have the space for an extra 2-4 kids. We will most likely adopt out of the foster care system as there are just so many kids who need help. DH was lucky enough to get a good home and if it had not been for them I would bet DH would not even be here now.
post #86 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
Never send my dh shopping. Ever.

He will buy everything on the list, and the same dollar worth of junkfood. And a 20 pack of lightbulbs, JIC. And . And. And. He's like five years old.

I think I will go after he gets home. The creek in back is flooding and I don't want to leave the big kids home alone with that going on. Not that I think the house will be washed away, but if it reaches the basement and starts leaking, they'll freak out and not minimize the mess as it's happening. KWIM?

Great news is that my newborn definitely takes a nap from 6pm til 8pm, which is perfect timing to stay home with daddy.

My dear can shop, thankfully, I hate shopping, so I usually let him.
But, I wouldn't send my 5 yo. boy, haha.

Newborns who take definite naps are good, then you get "by yourself-time" even! (I actually might opt to go to the store for that occasionally.)

Kids and messes, yeah, I wouldn't leave either. It must be pooring then, if the creek is flooding.
post #87 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
We have several. It's neurological, as I mentioned before, my oldest has aspergers, then Bre has autism. Dan has aspergers as well, and Sam has adhd/dyslexia. Emily has social anxiety, but honestly it doesn't affect us day-to-day, it really just becomes an issue with shopping and making friends, she can cope with me around.

I think we're lucky, in that as homeschoolers, we've focused a lot on living skills and so everyone is pretty good at helping out. Even Bre can load/unload the dishwasher, help stir a cooking dinner, and she desperately wants to do laundry. She's mad because I won't let her, no matter what we've done she really just doesn't do it right and I don't want to rewash a dozen loads of laundry with too much soap, or not enough water, etc.

It'll get easier as your children get older, I know when mine were younger it was hard to see that there would ever be a light at the end of the tunnel, but Josh now handles his own drs appointments, has learned to advocate for himself, etc, and it's so nice.
Can you make up packets of already measured out soap for her? Then she can load, add the soap, but she needs to check with someone else before she starts it to make sure it is on the right temp/load size? Just a thought.

I was 98% of the laundry on cold anyway. (towels and diapers being the only exception.) So unless she changes the settings most likely it should already be set. Ya know? Just a thought.
post #88 of 102
Thanks for the encouragement.

My oldest keeps telling me that things will get easier as the "youngers" become "olders"! I think that it's almost harder going from having tons of help to NONE. It has certainly shown me how inadequate of a homemaker I am.

Oh well, I pray that my children value my love and devotion for them, more than my having impeccable housekeeping abilities.
post #89 of 102
Maddy told me she feels like our servant today The only reason she gave was cause we make her do clean up time with the rest of us. She was really mad and would not talk to me anymore. Any of your eldest ever saiud anything similiar? How'd you handle it? phew naking that was long!
post #90 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonK View Post
Maddy told me she feels like our servant today The only reason she gave was cause we make her do clean up time with the rest of us. She was really mad and would not talk to me anymore. Any of your eldest ever saiud anything similiar? How'd you handle it? phew naking that was long!
Well Amanda told me today to quit stressing her out. When i asked what I was doing she hung up on me. When i called back she hung up on me again. I called a third time and was told that if I didn't already know then I was stupid and a few other not so nice names and I was hung up on again. At least she agreed to go back to her councilor. She has an appointment on Friday.
post #91 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
Never send my dh shopping. Ever.

He will buy everything on the list, and the same dollar worth of junkfood. And a 20 pack of lightbulbs, JIC. And . And. And. He's like five years old.
That's so funny!! Mine's the same...Where on earth am I gonna put a GALLON jar of pickles??? Chips, soda, candy, etc....Nope- he is banned from grocery shopping!
post #92 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by THANKFULFORFIVE View Post
That's so funny!! Mine's the same...Where on earth am I gonna put a GALLON jar of pickles??? Chips, soda, candy, etc....Nope- he is banned from grocery shopping!
Mine came home with $120 worth of soup once because it was his favorite brand and on sale.
post #93 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
Can you make up packets of already measured out soap for her? Then she can load, add the soap, but she needs to check with someone else before she starts it to make sure it is on the right temp/load size? Just a thought.

I was 98% of the laundry on cold anyway. (towels and diapers being the only exception.) So unless she changes the settings most likely it should already be set. Ya know? Just a thought.
It's funny because we've tried a bunch of different ideas with her. We did do the soap the way you suggested, we made a huge poster (helpful with dh ), then one with pictures JIC she wasn't understanding all the words (less is more with her). She honestly is just stubborn. She sees the point of doing the other chores the way we do, but I think the laundry she just wants to do her way (which kind of sounds like me, huh? ).

I know I was complainy about it, but honestly her psych and I were just laughing about it, because five years ago, she was so gone that she wouldn't have cared, and now she's so involved, and stubborn to-boot. I think it will just take time, really. Practice, mostly.
post #94 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonK View Post
Maddy told me she feels like our servant today The only reason she gave was cause we make her do clean up time with the rest of us. She was really mad and would not talk to me anymore. Any of your eldest ever saiud anything similiar? How'd you handle it? phew naking that was long!
Not my oldest, but Emily. To be fair, Josh and Bre until about a year or two ago were not really helpful around the house, and I expected more from her. On top of that, she's a natural people-pleaser, and very good at organizing, so she kind of falls into the role of mom easily. So we've had to work to keep from having her do so much more than anyone else is willing to do.

We do use chorepacks, it's kind of nice because I have one and the kids see that I have twice as many cards as they do. It provides some accountability, it's kind of like a contract between us, so that the argument that they 'didn't know' they were supposed to do x or y doesn't come up. We all sat down and did it together, although the book implies that the dad/mom would do that.
post #95 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
Mine came home with $120 worth of soup once because it was his favorite brand and on sale.
:rotf lmao

I sent dh to buy a paci for this new baby of ours, because his need to suckle was much higher than his desire to choke down milk. We've always used one kind, the soothie, and yet he comes home with every single type of pacifier they have at the store. JIC. Of course he loved the soothie.

But...I should be thankful, I have friends whose dh's won't even get off the couch, much less go to the store. He does always get everything on MY list.
post #96 of 102
Chorepacks? please tell me more...
post #97 of 102
The clean up time thing really gets me. It was their choice. We all sat down and talked about if they want seperate chores and to be responsible for their own belongings or if they want to do regular together chores. They said together as its more fun to clean up with someone else. So thats what we chose. Most of their toys are shared anyway. We do a morning clean up time which involves living room (tidy the floor only) hardfloor (tidy floor only) which is only the hallway and dining room kitchen area. We are not talking a huge space. Then the two older ones unload the dishwasher together. Afternoon chores are again living room and hard floor and the playroom. Its just cleaning up the toys and stuff they have scattered around throughout the morning and then between morning and afternoon. I do another pickup after they are in bed so its usually clean when they get up. It does not seem like that much to me. We also have a rule that if the baby takes it back out after they just cleaned it up then they do not have to pick it back up. I will clean it up if it needs picked up. I like them to make their beds but am not regular in requesting this. I try and do it with them most days but some days it just does not happen as I am prepping dinner or feeding the baby. When they do it and get it done it takes less than 10 minutes to do everything! There are some other things I ask of them but nothign unrealistic (at least in my mind) pick up their toys in the backyard when daddy mows, if they puddle water when they shower clean it up, if they bake help clean the mess, just stuff like that.

Does any of this sound unrealistic or too much for an 8 and 6 year old? And its really only the 8 yr old with the issue. Michael will happily clean up until Maddy starts her attitude. Its like a daily thing with her. I say clean up time and she starts yelling and throwing a fit. I am at a loss with her lately.
post #98 of 102

Big families and Hygiene

So this winter we had lice. Then we had lice again. I bought my kids each their own comb and brush and told them they couldn't use each other's. I was surprised I hadn't done that before.

Now we just had a run of pinworms and I'm thinking, "Why do we all share towels?" as if it's just the grossest thing though it's taken me all these years to think it.

Do all your kids have their own towels and brushes? How do you control the spread of such things in the household?

And what about bathing- how often do your children bathe??

Sorry this is so mundane!

On a brighter note, I told my husband that our good friends are going to try for their fourth child, and he hugged me warmly and said "I'm so glad they are wanting a big family" and gave me THAT look. Only a few others have witnessed THE LOOK, but it's his "aw, I love having babies with you so let's have another" look. And yesterday he hugged me and said "Can I just tell you how much I love that little guy?" (He's talking about our youngest, the one that was my idea and he was a little unsure about conceiving.) I always wanted five kids and perhaps I will have five yet! But I'm talking a little in the future, like getting pregnant a year from this fall. I like a little break in between!
post #99 of 102
If you have five or more kids, please tell me, was the jump from 4 to 5 a big one? I felt like 1, 2, 3 kids was no big deal but 4 was big for me- besides exponentially more laundry, I have a general feeling of having lots of people that I'm responsible for keeping track of!

I'm considering having another before I consider myself too old, in a year or two...but I want to go into it informed!
post #100 of 102
AlisonK, ever hear of "the Nine Year Change?" Kids go through a little bit of a rebellious toddlerish/teenagerish/pushing boundaries and challenging authority trip around your daughter's age.

We just spent a family meeting writing out all of our responsibilites. My husband and I had very, very, very long lists and the children didn't. I do think it helped, as I pointed out to them that I cannot possible add "nag and remind kids to take care of their own business" on my list- it won't fit! They have been better about remembering. They have to tidy their rooms and do their morning chores before they sit down for breakfast, and they have to have their evening chores done and room tidied before we read bedtime stories which is good motivation b/c my kids love books and stories.
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