Feeling very torn.

[mommy2two babes]

I thought that maybe someone could offer some insight or perspective for me.
In my area I have the choice of two midwifery groups.
The first group I have had for both of my previous births one hospital and one home. They used to work in teams of 2. I absolutly love one of the team memebers but the other one I have no use.
During my last labor she was aweful to me. I was in transition and saying that I couldn't do it and she said snarkily " remember you wanted this"
I had been hoping to go into labor the week before when the other team member was on. Not that I was desperate for labor to come.
I am faced with having this same team again except that they now work in teams of 3 and I havn't met the other one. I am very aprehensive and don't really want to see this other MW again. I may not have a choice if I go into labor when she is on again.

There is another MW group that I know nothing about even if they would take me on as I have to do shared care with an OB and have a cerclge placed.

I don't know what to do.

[AVeryGoodYear]

Can you not say that you just do not want that second midwife to be a part of your team? In your position, that would be the first thing I'd research. Some people just don't click, and maybe that third midwife on your team will be a shining star that you really enjoy. Or, if that's just not your personality and you worry about offending the second midwife, could you try to arrange a meeting with her to discuss your concerns?

I'd lean towards staying with the midwife office that had helped me through my first two births, but if you are agonizing over this decision and you just can't stand the thought of that second midwife and there's no way to keep her away, then definitely check out the other group.

[mommy2two babes]

Unfortuanately there is no way I can disclude her from my care.
the teams work in rotation. If it happened to be her week when I went into labor the other 2 are on clinic duty and not available for births.
I am leaning at taking the 1/3 chance that I will get her.

[MegBoz]

I say at least go inteview the 2nd group & see how they are.
The 1st group:
1 person you like
1 you really dislike
1 stranger

The 2nd group would be all strangers at first, but it's worth just looking into to see. It's a total unknown, but if you like those people more, it's worth switching to new care. You have to get to know 1 stranger with group 1 anyway, so you might as well check it out since there's a chance there won't be anyone you really dislike in group 2.

Of course, if you like MW #3 in group #1 and you stick with group 1, yes, definitely discuss your concerns with that MW you disliked.

[mommy2two babes]

Well I just got my answer from the second group.
They won't take me on with my cerclage.
They don't have an oB at thier hospital willing to do shared care and they won't work with my OB at a different hospital they don't have rights at.
I guess my next post will be how to have a good pregnancy/ birth with a MW you don't like.

[super mamabug]

I'm sorry and good luck. I hope you get your perfect caregiver and a wonderful birth.