Feb '08 Toddlers--it's April! - Page 2

[flapjack]

Well done Carrie

Rynna, essure is contraindicated for nickel sensitivities- but there's questions over whether nickel is one of my sensitivities or not: given that I react to buttons on jeans and watch batteries, cadmium is definitely in there too- or instead, and we were testing anyhow to confirm the latex allergy. As far as fertility goes, I think there's four variants:
1) Secondary infertility, probably more common than anyone realises.
2) Speedy return of menses and full fertility
3) Lengthy absense of menses and full fertility (I reckon that about 40% of breastfeeding mothers get a year off.)
4) Speedy return of menses with a shortened luteal phase or an increased tendency to miscarriage.

Julie, for me it was the combination of the string of miscarriages and not being able to lie down at the end of pregnancy that did it for me- up until the searing agony of SPD set in, I'd had gone for #5 quite happily, but this feels right.

OK, talk to me about reading toddlers. You mean actually trying to teach a 1yo to read, not just reading to them, right? Why? Does it work? and so on. Rynna, Skye is very close to making the click of reading, and that scares me somewhat: I think she and Bella are fairly close in age, aren't they? Both my boys were reading at 5, but they didn't have three bedtime stories a night every night either.

[Justmee]

Wow I misseed you guys totally last month. Been busy with real life and not on MDC as much.

Avraham Tzvi is still very much a baby, but I'll jump to toddlers with you guys. So is mine the only one not standing or walking? We're not even to pulling up yet But he's getting there and the physical theropy is helping. For once I wish I didn't have the last kid to do everything. OK, vent over.

I think I heard a bye bye the other day, but I havne't heard it sine so I'm not sure.

Other than that, we're all great. Everyone is off for Pesach vacation, and the girls are in a little backyard camp. I'm still watching babies (including my own ).

Oh, and teeth he does have. At least 8 of them. My kids do everything last, but they do get teeth.

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by RachelEve14

Wow I misseed you guys totally last month. Been busy with real life and not on MDC as much.

Avraham Tzvi is still very much a baby, but I'll jump to toddlers with you guys. So is mine the only one not standing or walking? We're not even to pulling up yet But he's getting there and the physical theropy is helping. For once I wish I didn't have the last kid to do everything. OK, vent over.

I think I heard a bye bye the other day, but I havne't heard it sine so I'm not sure.

Other than that, we're all great. Everyone is off for Pesach vacation, and the girls are in a little backyard camp. I'm still watching babies (including my own ).

Oh, and teeth he does have. At least 8 of them. My kids do everything last, but they do get teeth.

*hugs* If it's any consolation Steven is walking, has a full set of teeth, weighs 27 lbs and is 30 in tall and is still very very much a baby. He doesn't self feed at all. My oldest was using a spoon on his own at this point. He doesn't say any words. He just learned how to wave bye. He's just a walking baby instead of a toddler to me. Very different from Austin.

Maybe Avraham is going to be one of those kids that just does it one day and takes off running across the room!!

Had my second session of counseling yesterday. I don't know what its doing for me at this point, but I hope soon I'll start seeing/feeling a marked difference.

OK weird TMI question/story.

DH and I were in bed DTD and my face started tingling and going numb and I was all dizzy and then started hysterical crying and laughing all at once. Now (haha funny) this isn't normal for me and it didn't feel good like Oing. I really scared DH and this morning I'm still feeling headachy from it. Whats your take? (PG test this morning was - and period is due this week or next)

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin

Whats your take? (PG test this morning was - and period is due this week or next)

My first thought was: are you on any kind of new(ish) medication? Even vitamins?

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by flapjack

for me it was the combination of the string of miscarriages and not being able to lie down at the end of pregnancy that did it for me- up until the searing agony of SPD set in

See and I even try to conjure up the memories of just how bad it was this last go around to be pg. I honestly didn't do CRAP for a year (or more) had a really hard time walking (hips) the pg related carpal tunnel went on and on it hurt SO BAD and made doing much of anything with my hands & arms an impossibility. DH was a rotton pg partner, I was under so much stress and THEN my water broke at 31 weeks and having to deliver in a hospital. :
Not to mention the multiple miscarriages I've endured... a couple of them 2nd trimester losses.
Ok, I'm officially insane.
I think I want more babies because it's honestly the only thing I feel like I can do that gives me worth on this planet. When I'm taking care of the babes... all is right with the world, in spite of the world crumbling around me. Surely that is a biological thing... I'm not sure it's one I want to fight, because honestly, I can't think of anything else I'd rather do. I don't want a career or to garden w/out the kids or go out and party with my friends or anything that people talk about when they talk about what they do w/out their kids. I enjoy sharing my bed, even though I complain. Heck, I even lost a bunch of friends because I insist on having my kids with me at BURNING MAN.
Obviously my kids will grow up and move away someday... so is this something I should work on? : Is there something wrong with me that I live without goals or dreams? : That all I want to do is share experiences with and watch my babes grow and learn and become people? I mean, even THAT doesn't always turn out... look at dd#1. As a person, I don't even like who she turned out to be very much. But she has every right to be whoever she wants to be, and it doesn't stop me from wanting to see it again.
It's definitely biological, because other peoples kids (or caretaking them for $) is SO not up my alley.
For the record... I don't think my life is over if I don't get to have another baby... I just don't feel "done" -and I find that weird. My life is one huge contradiction.

PS: Does anyone here garden besides Carrie and want me to send them some seeds? I have PLENTY that won't get used! (Teeny?- I know you garden... do you need seeds?)

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

My first thought was: are you on any kind of new(ish) medication? Even vitamins?

None whatsoever

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

PS: Does anyone here garden besides Carrie and want me to send them some seeds? I have PLENTY that won't get used! (Teeny?- I know you garden... do you need seeds?)

I have a gorgeous garden going this year (My first ) and I would love, love, LOVE some seeds even if not for this year around!!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Rynna, essure is contraindicated for nickel sensitivities- but there's questions over whether nickel is one of my sensitivities or not: given that I react to buttons on jeans and watch batteries, cadmium is definitely in there too- or instead, and we were testing anyhow to confirm the latex allergy.

Yeah, I'm definately allergic to nickel. I can't hold a ring of keys for more than twenty minutes without breaking out, belt buckles around here are ugly because I cover them in masking tape, and I usually wear something between jeans and my skin so that the metal doesn't touch me. My watches (when I wore them) all had stickers on the back, and I had to wear a bandaid under the buckle as well. I'd probably think of it as a real PITA if I hadn't been dealing with it for so long... but these days it's second nature. Only Bean and Bear have had this reaction by the way-- overall buckles on either of them will cause hives if they touch the skin. This makes me wonder if it's not so much an allergy as it is a sensitivity to oxidizing substances and thus related somehow to the G-6-PD deficiency that both boys inherited from me. I know, nothing at all to do with birth control.

As far as fertility goes, I think there's four variants:
1) Secondary infertility, probably more common than anyone realises.
2) Speedy return of menses and full fertility
3) Lengthy absense of menses and full fertility (I reckon that about 40% of breastfeeding mothers get a year off.)
4) Speedy return of menses with a shortened luteal phase or an increased tendency to miscarriage.

Interesting.

OK, talk to me about reading toddlers. You mean actually trying to teach a 1yo to read, not just reading to them, right? Why? Does it work? and so on. Rynna, Skye is very close to making the click of reading, and that scares me somewhat: I think she and Bella are fairly close in age, aren't they? Both my boys were reading at 5, but they didn't have three bedtime stories a night every night either.

A toddler who is going to read will learn to read regardless of whether or not they are taught. A toddler who is not going to learn to read will not learn to read regardless of how much effort you put into it. With a great deal of effort, I think it's probably possible to knock a year or so off of a child's natural "learn to read" time, but not too much more.

When I was about 22 months old, my mother read a "What your two year old should be doing" article which said that I ought to be able to make a tower of ten blocks. She didn't know whether or not I could do this because there were no blocks in our home. To be clear, apparently I could do everything else in the article and had been for some time, but this block business bothered my mother, so she bought a set of wooden alphabet blocks for my birthday and asked me to stack them. I stacked five and decided it was boring; I wanted to know about those letters painted on the blocks. "Hey, it's an A!" I said, excited. "No, that's a P." A few hours later, I recognized all of my letters by sight. Three days later, I had the sounds connected to the letters and was building small words. A week after my second birthday, I was reading. A month later, I was reading comfortably and confidently on a second grade level, and by the time I was three I could read anything put in front of me that had been written for children.

How much teaching was involved? I directed that, and as I said I got a few hours. It couldn't have been much more even if either of us had wanted it that way; I had a 14 month old brother and my mother was pregnant with my sister when I turned 2. It was not the world's most conducive, enriching environment if you take my meaning. Still, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't stop me from learning to read. Conversely, had I not been there they couldn't have made me read, either.

Can toddlers read? Absolutely. Should they be encouraged? Sure, why not? Should we teach them to read? Eh... why bother? Treat it as you would anything else. If your child loves flowers, help him name them by color and type. If they love blowing bubbles, blow bubbles. If they love to read, read. It's a good deal. At this age, though, there's absolutely no point in trying to teach them to read based on your own desires. At best it's a waste of time, and at worst it's detrimental to a great many things.

(That'd all be my personal experience & opinions there.)

Originally Posted by RachelEve14

]Avraham Tzvi is still very much a baby, but I'll jump to toddlers with you guys. So is mine the only one not standing or walking? We're not even to pulling up yet But he's getting there and the physical theropy is helping. For once I wish I didn't have the last kid to do everything. OK, vent over.

Bella wasn't walking at this age; She was crawling, but not all that much. We don't have a ton of furniture for pulling up, but I know that she wouldn't even wlk holding hands.

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin

DH and I were in bed DTD and my face started tingling and going numb and I was all dizzy and then started hysterical crying and laughing all at once. Now (haha funny) this isn't normal for me and it didn't feel good like Oing. I really scared DH and this morning I'm still feeling headachy from it. Whats your take? (PG test this morning was - and period is due this week or next)

If it was me, personally, I'd get to a doctor ASAP. That just screams "Weird sh*&" to me and I'd be keen to have it all checked out. Then again, I'm somewhat paranoid and I hate doctors a lot less than many crunchies.

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

IPS: Does anyone here garden besides Carrie and want me to send them some seeds? I have PLENTY that won't get used! (Teeny?- I know you garden... do you need seeds?)

I've been growing bulbs on the windowsills. I'd love to try some other container plants, so if you've got seeds for anything even potentially amenable, we'd love another project around here. Have I mentioned that we're between science and history classes right now, and about to finish language arts, too? :

[flapjack]

Julie, I wasn't clear. Maybe the reason you don't feel done is cos you aren't done.

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin

I have a gorgeous garden going this year (My first ) and I would love, love, LOVE some seeds even if not for this year around!!

have anything particular on the wish list? Seems like you could grow just about anything there!!! I'd love that! : and pm me your address!

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I'd love to try some other container plants, so if you've got seeds for anything even potentially amenable, we'd love another project around here.

pm an address, and they are on their way!

Originally Posted by flapjack

Julie, I wasn't clear. Maybe the reason you don't feel done is cos you aren't done.

That would probably be my epitaph, if someone is mean enough to put me in the ground: "But I'm not DONE YET!"

Seriously... the only way I know I'm done with anything is when I have lost all interest... and in SO MANY THINGS... I'm just not done. : My crazy bucket list ends every entry with: "with my kids". At least it doesn't end each entry with: "while pregnant".

Ember LOVES toddling. She suddenly has more confidence and bravery than I ever saw out of the four-legged, no-toothed version.

[nolonger]

Oh, Carrie, what a relief!!!! :::::

Thinking about you and insem #2 today, Dea.

Originally Posted by sarahn4639

Hi all!


Also, how do you floss a baby's teeth? I don't even floss Grace's, am I a bad dental hygiene mom?

Pretty much the same way I do my own, and since I have advanced periodontal diseas I have the wide floss (dental tape) in the house anyway. It's more suitable for the wide spaces between ds's teeth than dd's regular floss and it's much more comfortable for him.

He only has eight teeth and four of them aren't in all the way, so I doubt if flossing is going to prevent any cavities at this point, it's just a good habit to get into and he likes it so it's sort of a reward for an extra good brushing session but not something I'd make an issue about right now.

I should preface all of my dental hygeine posts with the disclaimer that I have PTSD about dd's teeth. She had a similar story to Linnaea's, but it was not detected as early.

Please don't ask me to be reasonable. I probably saw the cavities at about 14 months but everyone brushed me off and said to "flick it away with your fingernail" until she was 2 1/2 and her poor little teeth had rotted down to nubbins, at which point I became the weird abusive mother who refused to wean on the spot when I was told and singlehandedly invented a weird theory about "nursing on demand" as an excuse for not replacing one or two "breastfeeds" with a bottle full of water every day to make sure there werre no more "breastfeeds" by her appointment next week. I wasn't very smart, either, or I would have known how to get free formula and juice from WIC and not rotted my kids teeth out with "breastfeeds" in the first place.



That's why i bookmarked this:

Poopycocky! Nightweaning isn't going to help!

before Terran and Linnaea even had heads, much less teeth, and am probably going to have a dentist check Terran out long before any sane person qould consider it necessary.

ITA with Rynna; no need for guilt, just be glad you caught it this early and found someone who would take you seriously. dd's were so bad we had to get CHDP to pay for it, ergo all the ignorance and condescencion.

bbl; haven't read all of today's posts; morning screen time may be a thing of the past, but i'm thinking of everyone!

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Julie, I wasn't clear. Maybe the reason you don't feel done is cos you aren't done.

:Yeah:

My computer froze right after I typed up a long-winded post comparing Terran to Ember's as-yet-unconcieved younger sibling. Here comes dd needing to use the Win98 machine in the living room and I'm late to work so let me just say that the difference between 40 and 45 fertilitywise is HUGE! I lurk on the TTC over 40 thread enough to know you're already there and to tell you to listen to those womyn because Terran wouldn't be here without them.

You sound so much like me.

I wouldn't trade Terran for a career, relationship,night out on the town with the girls or any of that crap I'm supposed to want.I whine plenty about what people think of me and how much it hurts that my big kids don't respect me but my son is worth that and a whole lot more.

I almost lost him. I almost waited too long. I almost didn't try.

If DH isn't on board with you...well, you know you can PM me, 'kay?

:

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

If DH isn't on board with you...well, you know you can PM me, 'kay?

:

oh don't i know it! however, he's as on board as he ever gets about anything, iykwim.


Ember has decided that SITTING in the shopping cart is for BABIES...
STANDING in the cart is much MUCH funner for toddlers. :

[lovetobemama]

Hey Julie, got seeds for anything that is shade tolerant? I am going to try a teeny garden this year, but with no single space that gets full sun, I don't feel like I have a lot of choices. Maybe lettuce or broccoli? I don't know much yet about gardening, though, so if you know of partial shade tolerant veggies, let me know! We get partial sun, but definitely not full.

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by lovetobemama

Hey Julie, got seeds for anything that is shade tolerant?

pm me your addy again, i'll see what i can find!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

Ember has decided that SITTING in the shopping cart is for BABIES...
STANDING in the cart is much MUCH funner for toddlers. :

Car carts and double/triple/quad carts. It's easier to strap the kiddo into the other seats, because a lot of them have five point harnesses. Bella and Bear always go into the 'extra' seats in the triples at WallyWorld, while BooBah sits in the "baby seat." (Not for much longer-- that gir's got thighs! ) If Bella or Bear is in the "baby seat," they can get out. BooBah can, too, but she won't do it while the thing's in motion.

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

If it was me, personally, I'd get to a doctor ASAP. That just screams "Weird sh*&" to me and I'd be keen to have it all checked out. Then again, I'm somewhat paranoid and I hate doctors a lot less than many crunchies.

I'm alright now so I'm going to hold off on the doctor, but if it happens again I definitely will be beating down his door to find out whats going on.

I'm still not completely unconvinced I'm pregnant. I won't know til the red lady shows.

On a serious note...we had to Baker Act my MIL today. She's "joked" about killing herself (yes I definitely know its something you never should joke about) in the past or said it when life got difficult, but the last few months (with the divorce on) it's escalated so much that my SIL came over and told us how worried she was and what was going on. We confronted MIL and gave her the option to seek counseling on her own or we'd have to call the Sheriff's office and have them come evaluate her and she flat out refused. She was so apathetic about it we had to make the call. So she's in an institution in another county/town and we're waiting to see what happens. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

It also freaking figures that I changed my counseling appt. from this monday to the 13th because of money and not thinking it was a big deal to push it back a week. Now I'm wishing I hadn't because my emotions are running the gambit.

[flapjack]

Oh Sarah Lynne As someone who has been detained for mental health issues, you did the right thing. I know she may not be able to see it yet, though.

Any chance your counsellor can see you early?

[Dea]

HELLOOOOOO!
I have a toddler! Crazy! CRAZY!

Happy Birthday Emily! I've been remembering that since the other thread and through 2 pages of this one...

NOS I heart you!

I had insem #2 today, and it was uneventful, really unceremonious, so weird. I may have the makings of a baby in me and it was all so clinical. Weird. DH and I make sure we DTD, so we can always think that it was the act of love that conceived our baby, not just me in a bright white room, getting intimate with a speculum and a long flexible needle. Okay, TMI, I know.

My brother is in town with his wife and son who's about 6 weeks younger than Trixie. It's really amazing how my little nephew and Trixie have this fascinating connection. They've met each other a couple times in the past year, and yet they are drawn to each other, really concerned with each others well being. Tonight Trixie was overtired and fell over and just melted and Liam (my nephew) came over and was so concerned about her, he wasn't crying he just watched her face. It was sweet. He can concern all over his dear little face. Trixie's been the same to him, granted she's affectionate and loves all of her little friends, but she's moreso with him. Perhaps they get the vibe from us that they have a special relationship, but to see it happening is really amazing. They had a bath together tonight and Trixie spent part of it washing his back. She's such a little mother. I love it.

Also in Trixie news, my little gummy smiled baby is sprouting the teefies, all over! Looks like there are 3 on top starting to poke through and 2 on the bottom. ALL AT ONCE! And we've only had about 3 nights of interrupted sleep, other than that, it's been okay.

So all of this talk of family planning. I think it's really fascinating to see the other side of the coin, if you will. People often ask me how many kids I want, then their eyes get all big when I say 3 or 4. But that's how I feel right now, more if I could, but that's my official number. Personally I would like an odd number, but I like things in odd numbers, we'll see about children though, they're not things. I figure overall, that when I feel that my family is done, I'll stop. I don't feel that it is now. I kinda envy Rynna and Helen that they feel that. How does that feel, to be content with that? Are you satisfied? Or is it dreading another baby stage? When the time comes for me, I hope I'm motivated by my heart rather than my head to be finished building my family. (does that make sense?)

Well I've written a book, haven't I?

Oh gardeners.... I wish I had the skills... but I can't even grow jade plants. Can you give me hints on that? (indoor...) And I would love to have an herb garden too. Hmmm fresh basil. Nothing's better!

[eilonwy]

I do feel dread at the thought of another baby, and a cold fear. I also feel content with the "doneness." With the first baby, every new milestone is exciting because you've never been through it. For me, the second baby's milestones were exiting because they happened so differently from the first. #3 was terribly exciting because she did everything sooooo slowly that it was a HUGE deal for everyone when she finally hit them. By rights, Bear ought to be the least exciting in every respect, but I find myself absolutely eager for him to grow and tickled when he hits a new milestone and evidences actual growth... because it's one less thing that I have to worry about ever again! He walks now... I will never again have to worry about a mostly-crawling baby in a public place!! Woohoo! Each of his milestones represents a milestone for *me* as well-- it's one step closer to freedom, to the light at the end of the tunnel.

(Disclaimer: Of course I love my kids. Don't get your knickers in a twist about me hating the baby stage or anything stupid like that. Don't start ranting about how I'm pushing my kids to grow up too quickly so that I can be independant of them, etc, etc, and so forth. Self-righteous bitchiness pisses me off, and I'm not in the mood for it today.)

I have no idea how to explain gardening. I love gardening, I've always been drawn to it despite never having had good opportunities to garden out of doors. I'm really good at growing things, particularly when I have access to the resources I need. My mother, on the other hand, can kill any plant merely by looking at it. I mean she killed a spider plant once, and those things are given to five year olds because they're impervious. Not a clue how she does it.

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Oh Sarah Lynne As someone who has been detained for mental health issues, you did the right thing. I know she may not be able to see it yet, though.

Any chance your counsellor can see you early?

Their office isn't opened until monday and I don't feel right calling in as an emergency. I'll be ok. If things seem crazy come Monday I'll call and reschedule. Money or no money.

I'm more worried about what this is doing to my SIL. We let her have some alone time with her mom after we talked to her (MIL) and evidently MIL said she doesn't care what SIL thinks or feels about it, that it was her (MIL) issue and she wasn't going willingly. MIL had no care for what her thoughts and actions were doing to her family (SIL most of all, who is very co-dependent with her mom.) Its all very sad and uncertain right now, but hopefully she'll get the help she needs.

One of the hardest things for me was when I realized that I never even sat down and prayed for my mom...but after the talk with MIL I was in my SIL bedroom on my knees for a good 15 minutes praying as hard as I could. I'm still trying to process that tidbit in my mind.