What kinda of advice would you give a person(like me)in a situation like this? - Page 2

[georgia]

Hi, just wanted to let you know we do not host religious discussion of any sort in this forum. You would be welcome to take this discussion to the Religious Studies forum if you'd like to discussion religion and circumcision. Thank you

[perspective]

Originally Posted by Quirky

You misunderstand me. He may or may not believe there is something wrong with his penis, but I will bet dollars to doughnuts that hearing his wife say that circumcision is wrong makes him think that SHE thinks there is something wrong with him. Because she is saying that circumcision is harmful, i.e. it harms penises, ergo his penis is harmed. And he doesn't want to think that there is, and will engage in quite a lot of denial, including advocating circ for his sons, so that he doesn't have to think that there is something wrong with his penis.

Sorry, I guess I did misread your post. What you say here is the point of my comment. That if the guy THINKS what your saying is that his penis is "sup-par" he will get defensive, just like anyone would get defensive if they thought a body part that they connect greatly to their genderhood was being "attacked". Which in the end can hurt discussion, so yeah your right sorry

[Quirky]

Originally Posted by perspective

Sorry, I guess I did misread your post. What you say here is the point of my comment. That if the guy THINKS what your saying is that his penis is "sup-par" he will get defensive, just like anyone would get defensive if they thought a body part that they connect greatly to their genderhood was being "attacked". Which in the end can hurt discussion, so yeah your right sorry

Yep. Believe me, I learned the hard way.....after going on and on and on about circ, even after my dh was totally on board with not circing our ds, I finally realized that my dh was deeply hurt because he felt that I was criticizing him and his penis. Also, as you say, he didn't want to think ill of his parents for circing him. Although since he was born in 1967, it's entirely possible his parents wouldn't even have had a choice and that circ would have been done automatically.

I'm of the opinion that once a dh is on board with the no-circing part, it's not necessary to force him to become an intactivist.....and talking a lot about the evils of circ may be more hurtful to circed guys than a lot of people realize.

[Bm31]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

I mean it is possible that boys/men can have problems with an intact penis right?

Sure, any natural body part can have a problem. But what gets swept under the rug, or accepted as "normal", are the problems that circ. can cause. They are just as frequent and often they are more permanent with no true solution. And the thing is, by choosing to circ. you are CAUSING the problem. What would be easier to live with, a naturally arising problem or one that you caused by your "choice?"

Glad your dh came around quickly on this.

[purplemamaturtle5]

Originally Posted by Bm31

Sure, any natural body part can have a problem. But what gets swept under the rug, or accepted as "normal", are the problems that circ. can cause. They are just as frequent and often they are more permanent with no true solution. And the thing is, by choosing to circ. you are CAUSING the problem. What would be easier to live with, a naturally arising problem or one that you caused by your "choice?"

Glad your dh came around quickly on this.

Yeah, but luckily my son who is circ'd hasnt had any problems...My husband and I now know what to do next time around so now I'm pround to say that I am and Inactivist!!!!!!!!!!!!

:

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

Yeah, but luckily my son who is circ'd hasnt had any problems...My husband and I now know what to do next time around so now I'm pround to say that I am and Inactivist!!!!!!!!!!!!

:

Great job there! What a lucky boy : please stick around, read and participate.

[Treece]

Since he has researched a little (or a lot...) Try not to beat it to death. Let him lead the conversation now. That's what I'm doing with my bf. He asks, I answer. I never thought I would be an intactivist, but it feels like my calling. Save the foreskin!!!

[Greg B]

It may help your DH to understand if he reads what doctors have written on the issues:

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...tatement0.html

I was circ'd. My sons were not. We have no issues. I wish I was not, so am restoring to gain back what function anfd feelings I can. So far I have been suprised at how much better it functions and feels. A whole lot better! Way better!

Regards

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

Yeah, but luckily my son who is circ'd hasnt had any problems...My husband and I now know what to do next time around so now I'm pround to say that I am and Inactivist!!!!!!!!!!!!

:

You actually don't know if your sons will have problems.

A lot of circumcision trouble doesn't show up until later in life. Did they take too much (well, any is too much) will he have too tight erections?

Will there be pubic hair pulled up onto the shaft during erections because there is not enough skin?

My Dh is in his 40's and is dealing with Meatal Stenosis which is a complication of circumcision and can happen in childhood or much later.

Will he and his future partners have problems because of lack of sensitivity and normal function?

Will your sons suffer from ED?

[purplemamaturtle5]

Originally Posted by Treece

Since he has researched a little (or a lot...) Try not to beat it to death. Let him lead the conversation now. That's what I'm doing with my bf. He asks, I answer. I never thought I would be an intactivist, but it feels like my calling. Save the foreskin!!!

I totally know what you mean. And thats what I'm doing. I am so so so suprised how easily he jumped on board...He's even informing my mother now (who I dont think will ever change her mind)....I think because we are religious, he needed to see what the church says about it. I am so glad we aren't fighting about this anymore...I mean who knows we may not even have anymore boys(haha)...But if we do at least we will know what decision to make!!

[purplemamaturtle5]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

You actually don't know if your sons will have problems.

A lot of circumcision trouble doesn't show up until later in life. Did they take too much (well, any is too much) will he have too tight erections?

Will there be pubic hair pulled up onto the shaft during erections because there is not enough skin?

My Dh is in his 40's and is dealing with Meatal Stenosis which is a complication of circumcision and can happen in childhood or much later.

Will he and his future partners have problems because of lack of sensitivity and normal function?

Will your sons suffer from ED?

Well I know that I dont know if my son will have future problems with his penis...I was just saying there haven't been any problems thus far. I pray to
God that he doesnt suffer from any of those problems and leads a totoally healthy life!! But so far so good.