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Anyone interested in a multiple/toddler support thread?

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
Hey mamas of toddler twins!! Wondering if anyone is interested in having a thread to talk about multiples/toddler issues?

My twins will be 2 in one week!! I am still very exhausted, sleep deprived, and with 5 kids, stretched to the max!! I always thought twins would be easier than a singleton, because they would play together and always have a buddy. Some of the time this is true, but lately if seems that for the most part I always have a LO hanging on me wanting to be held!!! I'd love to talk about sleep issues with a toddler, and our current exciting event- potty learning!

I'd love to hear what your typical day looks like. What issues are you having with your twins. Thanks for sharing!!
post #2 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
I am still very exhausted, sleep deprived, and with 5 kids, stretched to the max!! ...... but lately if seems that for the most part I always have a LO hanging on me wanting to be held!!! I'd love to talk about sleep issues with a toddler, and our current exciting event- potty learning!
:

I don't have much time (who does?) but I'm in. I'm still up at least every 40 minutes or so nursing someone, snuggling with another, finding one's "rubbie" (her little silk blanket she drags around all day and then sleeps with all filthy and gross.) DInner is hard to make, hard to eat. Homework is hard to attend to because a toddler is always in the way. And my energy is at an all time low so I eat poorly which then makes it even worse.

I see folks around me moving on, having the next child, etc and I still feel like my life came to a screeching halt! Right now I should be packing lunches and cleaning up from b-fast but instead I nurse a toddler (again) while the other pulls her hair and bangs her head for entertainment.

Dp is amazing, but home for less than 48 hours each week and needs to sleep for at least 12 hours in there at some point! Only fair........ As for potty stuff. I had my first taste of what that might be like the other night. Both girls sit on the potty before bath and sometime they do something, but mostly not. But once they both finished, stood up and one promptly peed all over the floor while the other pooped on the edge of the tub. Lovely.

Okay that was my public pity party! Back to my life that feels like a chore.:yawning:
post #3 of 61
I'm in.

I was working on something pithy to say about "could I come even though I have triplets, not twins?" when DS3 came up and peed by my feet. DD came up to investigate and went off to poo on her keyboard while I was cleaning the pee accident.

And I had to come back this email six times just to get the last paragraph finished.
post #4 of 61
I'm in too- I'm exhausted, constantly running around or nursing, and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel while knowing full well it's a long way's off!

You gals are cracking me up with your pee stories!
post #5 of 61
You ladies are braver than I. As much as my girls love to run around bare bottomed, I have to time it right. The only thing they love more than poo-ing in a fresh, clean diaper is peeing as soon as it's off. On the floor before a bath, during a diaper change, anywhere they can. Because they are my only kids and we're still a long ways from potty learning, I still think it's cute.

As you can guess, it's a good day for me. Except for waking earlier and earlier (5:30AM is not OK with me), and the sometimes fight to get Belle into her high chair or car seat (full on toddler arched back, and danger-to-self-flailing), I've got generally pleasant babes. But they are 14 months old today, and I'm bracing for what the next four months will bring.

So yes, a twin toddler support thread is a great idea!
post #6 of 61
My girls are only 11 months, but I feel graduated out of baby issues. However, as my instincts told me the other day, I see from all of your posts that things are not going to be "easy" for a long, long time, if ever. I think this thread would be a great idea. In LLL, our group has toddler meetings as well, and they are soooo helpful!
post #7 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by hergrace View Post
I'm in.

I was working on something pithy to say about "could I come even though I have triplets, not twins?" when DS3 came up and peed by my feet. DD came up to investigate and went off to poo on her keyboard while I was cleaning the pee accident.

And I had to come back this email six times just to get the last paragraph finished.
I hope this is okay to say in this setting. Whenever I see a triplet mom I look away (because I'm sure she feels like a freak show enough) and I think she must be such an amazing woman (because she has yet to kill herself or her children.) I think only a twin mom can truly appreciate a triplet mom, kwim? To just make it through one day, my goodness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaeliz View Post
My girls are only 11 months, but I feel graduated out of baby issues. However, as my instincts told me the other day, I see from all of your posts that things are not going to be "easy" for a long, long time, if ever. I think this thread would be a great idea. In LLL, our group has toddler meetings as well, and they are soooo helpful!
I hit a stumbling block at one year because it was supposed to get easier. And it did in some ways, but not all certainly.

Are you serious about LLL being supportive? Read my thoughts here on LLL. If you are sincere, I'm glad. If not then something is going seriously wrong with the organization.
post #8 of 61
Love this.

The three day long temper tantrums stopped. (need to update that other thread) And yes, still totally exhausted despite the current sttn. They do entertain themselves or each other for fairly long stretches of time, but also demand a lot of time from me to entertain them.

I totally give props to trip mamas too.

Since we're swapping poo/pee stories, this morning dd pooped in the tub right before morning nap. All I wanted to do during nap was make muffins and knit a little. Instead, I cleaned the tub and all the toys in it, washed rugs. Also thought about how many more adventures in poop we will have in the next few years.

Yesterday we went to Bass Pro ( huge outdoor/sporting goods store) to look at aquariums, ducks, waterfalls and ride the glass elevators. I see that our stroller days are coming to an end. They are both walking now and want to get out to have a closer look at everything that interests them. I never thought I would say this, but I am considering leashes, though I would prefer to call them "tethers". Need to switch from diaper bag to the world's biggest backpack also.

Re-breastfeeding. Still struggling a bit w/ it. Just a mental thing. I don't have the lovey dovey feeling about it I thought I would. I think I did when they were nb, but then after thrush and ds refusing to nurse and only taking bottles of pumped milk for a month it sort of turned into a chore. They nurse (combined) about 16 x a day. I'm exhausted with it. Struggling w/ my feelings about that and wondering how much longer I am going to nurse. I had a goal of 15 months, then switched to wanting to do clw, and now want to wean today. Toddler nursing is so different from nursing a nb and tandem all the time is driving me nuts. But at the same time if I don't tandem then one eats while the other screams. I try to suggest other drinks or snacks, they just aren't into it.
post #9 of 61
Thread Starter 
Hi Gals!! Yeah!!!: Thanks for sharing some stories!!! I want to reply to you all, but I've had crabby kids all morning!!! They don't nap anymore (or very rarely) so my only computer time is when daddy is home!! Can't wait to talk.....
post #10 of 61
Thread Starter 
Oh!! Kate- I am SO sorry about the twin thing!!!! I changed the title, and can't wait to hear more from you!!! I agree about us twin moms really being able to appreciate how amazing a triplet mom is!!!!!

mamaeliz- I'd love to hear how you're doing too!! It seems like life got rough for us around a year. Not to be discouraging, just that it seems to come in waves around here. So many new milestones!! Okay, maybe I need to change the title to: Multiples/toddlers/anyone else- we'd love to have you!!
post #11 of 61
Oh I am SO in : My twin boys are 2 1/2 (well, in a few days they'll be 2 1/2) :

Somethings have gotten easier for us but other challenges have come up. Sometimes, just trying to get out the door can be a challenge. I have one running right for the puddle of water while I'm trying to get the other one and close the door so that my dogs don't get out.

My boys also like to take their diapers and smear poop all over the walls..Yuck. What's with toddlers and poop anyway :

Nursing..If one nurses, the other one HAS to nurse. They can be silly while nursing too. How can I explain what they do... They'll put their mouths on my boob and "bang" their head. They love the noise it makes : I wish I could explain it better :

Anyway, I'm glad that this is here!
post #12 of 61
I'd like to join, but I'm afraid I'll have to :: because we're actually in a fairly easy phase right now, on the whole. It helps that they're all sleeping through the night, and I'm solidly in remission and have been for months, so I'm feeling healthy and rested. I'm proud of us-- we've come through thick and thin and worked really hard to get things working the way they are now. But I'm bracing myself waiting for the next difficult challenge to come up.

Mamas of triplets or more are my heroes. I have to agree there.

It helps that DD1 has FINALLY worked through some of her defiance and meltdown issues, and is pretty easygoing and helpful most days. She was having some bowel trouble, and I think the constant discomfort was making her miserable. We've got her diet under control now and she feels much better, so she's a lot easier to live with.

Our major issues right now are: DD2 was potty learned, and has now regressed to having accidents unless she's nakey, and while I know this is normal and typical and will pass, it still is a major kink in the day when we're all dressed and ready to walk out the door and all of a sudden she's got a poop in her pants. Yesterday she was sitting on my lap and all of a sudden just peed all over my last clean pair of pants. :

The other thing is that DS has started hitting. He's also having some wild-and-crazy tantrums. I think he just has so much energy and he's not getting the chance to blow off enough steam, so I'm glad the weather is getting better, so we'll be able to get outside more. He wants to climb and run and bang and hit and throw stuff all day long, and our house is so small. I try and get them outside when I can, but it's muddy, and between getting everybody dressed to go out, and then keeping them all corralled while we're out there, and then scraping the mud off all three of them and changing and washing everybody's clothes when we come in, it just about wears me to shreds. So a lot of times we stay in, and DS is getting stir-crazy.

It would help so much if he could still nurse. Sometimes he really is still such a baby and it hurts me when I can SEE what he needs and can't let him have it. He'll still latch on and suckle awhile occasionally, but I'm afraid that if I let him do it too often, I'll start making milk again, and then have to wean him another time. It broke my heart into pieces to do it the first time, and I won't go through that again. (He can't have my milk, because the drugs I'm on to maintain my remission are not safe for him. I weaned them at 16 months old.)

I think I've gotten to the point where a mishap or a crisis every fifteen minutes is just the way I expect life to be. I watch DH go just about nuts on the weekends trying to keep his patience with the three of them, and I keep telling him, "You gotta relax. It's all just bumps in the road, and at 8 they'll all be asleep." That's my attitude, and it really helps me get through another crazy day.
post #13 of 61
Are my 35mos boys still considered toddlers? They don't "toddle" much these days, but boy-oh-boy are they a handful! I laughed when I read what somebody said in an earlier post about how people say "it'll get EASIER". When exactly is that going to be?!?!? I've decided that all the people that told me that must have been very ignorant, or flat out lying. Some things are easier, yes, but the twin thing really is SO challenging in so many ways. And the addition of walking (running) and talking (demanding) does not help!

As a mother, trying to simultaneously meet the needs of two very needy (and, now that they are almost 3, very opinionated) wee ones is virtually impossible. When they are both sick, or both sad, how do you decide which one to comfort first? I often find myself picking one up, holding him for a few minutes while the other cries, then switching off, putting the other one down to cry so his brother gets some mommy time. Back and forth, back and forth, with me usually crying myself too. If you ask me, these are the worst moments of twin motherhood. And also the moments where I feel most grateful for my DH (and also most dependent, but that's another thread...)

Then there's the logistical issues. When they were little, I could get them to do things together, or at least in the same room. This morning, one wanted to stay out in the backyard, the other wanted to come in. I can't be in two places at once. And they can't be out of my sight unsupervised for more than a couple of minutes. Whatever I choose, one of them is going to have a meltdown. How do I decide who melts down today? The one that got his way yesterday when the same thing happened? Or the one that I know I can distract more easily? Another example: one wants out of the bathtub, the other's not budging. Who do I supervise? The wet child running around the house without a diaper or the one in the tub?!? Daddy -- help!

The last few months have been particularly hard around naptime. One boy still likes an afternoon nap, but must be nursed to sleep (which takes about 20 minutes). The other boy gets an extra spurt of energy at that time and makes it his business to run around the house, finding the LOUDEST toys possible to play with. Or he'll come running into the bedroom where his brother is just on the brink of sleep, and start bouncing on the bed, singing, pouding on the headboard, or trying to pull down the curtains. The nursing baby wakes up and we have to start all over. This happens every day.

Still...in addition all the stories of struggle...I have just as many stories of cuteness beyond measure. Two babies doing ANYTHING is infinitely cuter than just one baby doing it. Two babies in the bathtub, two babies wearing their shorts on their head, two naked babies jumping on the couch, two babies singing the ABC song in "harmony". And I'm sure, for the moms of triplets and beoynd, three babies together is breathtaking.
post #14 of 61
Thanks all for the warm welcome. I actually think that toddler issues are more similar for twins and triplets in general than baby issues. The baby months are so full of babes in arms or carriers and feedings that the fact that there are more babes than arms and boobs is a huge difference between higher order multiples and twins. Also, most preemies have caught up developmentally by the toddler years, so the preemie issues that are more common with triplets have faded somewhat.

Now, we all *just* have opinionated little ones running off in more than one direction, teamwork against our best childproofing efforts, sleep issues with sharing space or not, potty learning with more than one, sharing issues that tax our efforts at gentle or even positive discipline, too many LOs that want Mama's arms and won't share her, noise at levels that become unbearable, and too many kids crying at once.

That said, when things are going well, we get to see toddlers hugging each other, sleeping in each others arms/beds/etc, massive group hugs, and the other massively cute things that newmoon2000 mentioned.

I had a good afternoon today. It was the first real spring day where I could walk to pick DS1 up from school. I also picked up a friend of his and took all 5 kids to the playground. Other moms at the school commented that I was brave to add another kid to the mix with all of my own. They don't realize how much easier it is for me when DS1 has somebody to play with, so I only have to worry about the three little ones and keep a vague eye on the 5-year olds. The hardest part is picking up the phone to call other moms and arrange the playdates. Anyway, a couple of the grade 8 girls who help me out from time to time were there and jumped right in, so I got 1.5 hours of reasonably relaxed outdoor runaround time for everybody before we got home, and then everybody was well behaved into the evening and went to sleep reasonably well.
post #15 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gena 22 View Post
You ladies are braver than I. As much as my girls love to run around bare bottomed, I have to time it right.
You actually have a say in the matter? My babies just take their pants and diaper off and run up to me naked.

Actually, B just went into the bathroom naked while I was getting ready and he peed in the potty. As I was cheering for him, H ran in and says, "I pee-pee TOOOOOOO!" all gleeful. When I asked, "In the potty?" all confused because the other baby potty is upstairs, she points all cute and says, "No, on the couch."



However, they're so cute right now (at 22 months) that I still feel all :about them 99.9% of the time anyway.
post #16 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post
Are you serious about LLL being supportive? Read my thoughts here on LLL. If you are sincere, I'm glad. If not then something is going seriously wrong with the organization.
Yes. Here, our LLL has been nothing but supportive from what I've seen so far. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a group! Our toddler group is great. The last meeting I attended was on discipline, and everyone there was so REAL about how hard it is to balance your own needs and meeting kids needs, struggling to be cool and calm, messing up sometimes, etc. Most of the friends I have who are LLL Leaders are wonderfully down to earth and realistic. So, what you experienced definitely isn't universal, and apparently neither is what I experienced. I'd like to think LLL does more good than harm, though, and still firmly believe that.
post #17 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
My babies just take their pants and diaper off and run up to me naked.
That's how it is here, too.
post #18 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by hergrace View Post
That's how it is here, too.
Yeah me too..Oh and we have such a hard time at nap times. They will take off their diapers and smear poop everywhere.. Both of them. All over the walls and themselves. Yuck..
post #19 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalynnsmom View Post
Yeah me too..Oh and we have such a hard time at nap times. They will take off their diapers and smear poop everywhere.. Both of them. All over the walls and themselves. Yuck..
DD2 used to do this, and then she'd :: put her fingers in her MOUTH.

We wound up having to put a onesie Tshirt under absolutely everything she wore. Because even if she didn't take the diaper off, she'd shove her hand down the front of it. Fortunately, she can't figure out how to unsnap the onesies, but now that she's in 3T it's getting harder to find them, and she WILL still poop at the end of her nap. She hasn't put her hand in there lately, but the day I stop putting a onesie on her, she WILL. And onesies make potty learning so much harder, so it's a real hassle.

Are they in disposables? Have you tried duct tape, to keep the diaper on? Or putting the diaper on backwards? I've had friends who had good luck with those tactics.
post #20 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
DD2 used to do this, and then she'd :::Puk e put her fingers in her MOUTH.

We wound up having to put a onesie Tshirt under absolutely everything she wore. Because even if she didn't take the diaper off, she'd shove her hand down the front of it. Fortunately, she can't figure out how to unsnap the onesies, but now that she's in 3T it's getting harder to find them, and she WILL still poop at the end of her nap. She hasn't put her hand in there lately, but the day I stop putting a onesie on her, she WILL. And onesies make potty learning so much harder, so it's a real hassle.

Are they in disposables? Have you tried duct tape, to keep the diaper on? Or putting the diaper on backwards? I've had friends who had good luck with those tactics.
YUCK!!!!

Yeah, here's a list of what we did:
-Onesie with backwards diaper
-Sleeper with backwards diaper
-backwards sleeper with backwards diaper
-All of the above at one time

They are in cloth, but ended up putting them in sposies with duct tape out of desperation. Well, turns out that they put their hands through the legs of the diaper. I've even tried cloth with the Proraps colors (they have a buckle)

My daughter did this too but they are more insistent than she was : It's getting old washing poop off the walls :
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