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Anyone interested in a multiple/toddler support thread? - Page 2

post #21 of 61
Wow. I let my girls run around naked as much as I can in the evenings when they tend to "eliminate" less often. Good for their skin and so cute. But they haven't figured out how to get past our pinned dipes yet. Blissful ignorance, huh? We've only had one poop issue so far. OK, I'm warned!
post #22 of 61
oh, this is really lovely mamaof5boys, nice to have a conversational thread rather than quick fire questions iyswim.
......but reading about older mulitiples scares me
post #23 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shukr View Post
oh, this is really lovely mamaof5boys, nice to have a conversational thread rather than quick fire questions iyswim.
......but reading about older mulitiples scares me
Oh, no! We don't want to scare you off!! I think having older kids makes it easier in some ways, though. You'll be an old pro!

Thanks everyone for the great laughs with the poo stories!!! It's gotta be something you'll look back on and remember fondly! Just think about all the stories you'll have for graduation, marriage, etc...

That's one thing that's always driven me crazy with my twins- the second I'm changing one's diaper the other one comes and has to investigate. Usually it's grabbing the wipes and running away, right when I'm in the middle of wrestling with the other one! I learned about ECing sometime after their first year. It sounded like a good idea. But for the most part, I'd have one peeing on the floor, the other one running over and sliding right through it and landing head first on the wood floor! All of a sudden this week the boys decided they wanted to use the potty. Their interest seemed to last for a couple of days, so we're just going with it. It's fun to see how proud they get from doing such a "big boy" thing. It's really sweet cause they run out of the bathroom to their older brothers declaring, "Pee Pee!!" and the boys get so excited for them. I was talking to a friend today and she reminded me that this is the ending of the real baby stage- going without diapers all day. It actually made me sad!! Yes, I know I'm a little odd!!

Just think, your children are pretty amazing for figuring out how to get their clothes and diapers off!! Think of all the great personality traits they're developing with their exploring!!! You all have gifted little ones!!
post #24 of 61
Thread Starter 
We just baked a really yummy batch of whole wheat chocolate chips cookies!!!

I so wish I could share some with you all!!!!
post #25 of 61
Mmmm, cookies sound good.

I have had one of those mornings where I actually was with one kid at a time.

I took DS2 to his swim class this morning. Now, he hates the whole experience, so I had a crying child in the pool, a crying child in the shower, and a crying child getting his hair dry, but I did get one-on-one time with him. And, I ended up with a smiling child because his reward for putting up with the experience is a jellybean, which keeps him happy for half an hour afterwards.

Then, when I got home with him, all the boys wanted to play in the basement with Daddy, so DD helped me scramble eggs for lunch. I can't believe I had enough peace at home to let a 23-month old stir eggs on a hot stove with me.

Big props to DH for having 3 kids all morning.
post #26 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hergrace View Post
Mmmm, cookies sound good.

I have had one of those mornings where I actually was with one kid at a time.

I took DS2 to his swim class this morning. Now, he hates the whole experience, so I had a crying child in the pool, a crying child in the shower, and a crying child getting his hair dry, but I did get one-on-one time with him. And, I ended up with a smiling child because his reward for putting up with the experience is a jellybean, which keeps him happy for half an hour afterwards.

Then, when I got home with him, all the boys wanted to play in the basement with Daddy, so DD helped me scramble eggs for lunch. I can't believe I had enough peace at home to let a 23-month old stir eggs on a hot stove with me.

Big props to DH for having 3 kids all morning.
What a great morning!! Your DH sounds like an awesome daddy!! That is too sweet- I love the jelly bean story!!

When my older boys were younger, my DH would take them out every Saturday morning and they would call it "boys morning out". It gave me a little break and they loved time with dad. Unfortunately, life has gotten too busy to do that now.

I find that I'm the one getting to take them out now for "dates". Even though we try to do more one-on-one time, it always seems like they'd rather just do stuff together. We need to work on that with the twins- they do practically everything together.

I just realized your triplets are days apart from my twins!! My guys were born 4/8/07. How are you planning on celebrating their b-day? I need to find a healthy cake recipe that I can use. Last year I made molasses muffins that were really healthy- they liked it but my older kids hated them!

I have an Elmo cake mold that I know they would love, but I need to see if I can find a natural food coloring. Any ideas anyone?
post #27 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post

I just realized your triplets are days apart from my twins!! My guys were born 4/8/07. How are you planning on celebrating their b-day? I need to find a healthy cake recipe that I can use. Last year I made molasses muffins that were really healthy- they liked it but my older kids hated them!

I have an Elmo cake mold that I know they would love, but I need to see if I can find a natural food coloring. Any ideas anyone?
We are having a playdate (not a party) the weekend before their birthday at our house. It will be madness. We have invited 5 families, none of whom have less than 3 kids (all under 6), and there will be 2 sets of toddler twins and two other sets of toddler triplets. That will have healthy snacks for the littles and I will set out some crafts or other activities in DS1's playspace for the big kids.

I will probably make gluten-free, carrot and zucchini muffins to have on the actual birthday.
post #28 of 61
I'm in!! :

Our little ones are not so little anymore. They are 20 months today and are growing up so fast. A lot of the days I just feel like a policeman rather than a mother. There are mostly two of the same toy lying around and they have to have the one that his brother is playing with. I feel that most of my day with them is spent saying things like "your brother is playing with that and when he is finished it will be your turn", "get off your brother", "give it back", "HERE, there is another one" and "let's go find the green/red/yellow one for you to play with". Anyone else feel like this?

In terms of potty training, they both have been very interested in anything toilet since they could walk at around 11 months, but I haven't pushed the issue. I bought one of those things that goes directly on the toilet and both of them will sit there for about a second before wanting to come down. Both of them tell me when they need a diaper change, so we are getting there. We also just found out that we are expecting again in November (singleton this time) so I wanted to see if I could get some potty time in before the baby is born.

I just stopped nursing a few weeks ago (before I found out I was pregnant) and DH was actually commenting last night on how amzaed he was that it was so easy for them to stop. It just sort of happened. They stopped asking and I stopped offering, and there we go. It took about 10 days for my milk to dry up. Now we wait for the next one.

DS1 has been sleeping through the night and going to sleep on his own for about a year. DS2 however, needed to be nursed, cuddled, rocked in order to go to sleep and woke every 2-3 hours. Since I stopped night feeding about three weeks ago I started sleep training him to go to sleep on his own. I did a combination of the No Cry Sleep Solution, Pick up Put Down and Farber (He never cried alone in his crib, I was there the whole time). Now I can put him in his crib and walk out of the room and I only go back in when he cries to lie him down again. DH has been there but wasn't really involved and was amazed last night that not only did he go to sleep on his own after about 15 mins, but slept through the night. Now that I am getting some decent sleep, I am more able to handle the high spirits and cope with tiredness of the pregnancy.

Sorry to ramble on, it's just been one of those weeks!
post #29 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shuli View Post
Our little ones are not so little anymore. They are 20 months today and are growing up so fast. A lot of the days I just feel like a policeman rather than a mother. There are mostly two of the same toy lying around and they have to have the one that his brother is playing with. I feel that most of my day with them is spent saying things like "your brother is playing with that and when he is finished it will be your turn", "get off your brother", "give it back", "HERE, there is another one" and "let's go find the green/red/yellow one for you to play with". Anyone else feel like this?
I totally feel like this!! The other day I had this realization that with my singletons, at this age, I was doing all kinds of things with them. Like singing songs, playing little games, etc. With the twins it certainly feels more like crowd control. I'm trying to do more fun things with them, cause when I do they really enjoy it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shuli View Post
I just stopped nursing a few weeks ago (before I found out I was pregnant) and DH was actually commenting last night on how amzaed he was that it was so easy for them to stop. It just sort of happened. They stopped asking and I stopped offering, and there we go. It took about 10 days for my milk to dry up. Now we wait for the next one.
I am so envious! I have been trying to cut out some of their sessions, like the after nap nurse. But boy, they give me a hard time about it. Every morning they scream and cry until I sit down and nurse them. I would like to wean them completely, but am dreading the reaction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shuli View Post
DS1 has been sleeping through the night and going to sleep on his own for about a year. DS2 however, needed to be nursed, cuddled, rocked in order to go to sleep and woke every 2-3 hours. Since I stopped night feeding about three weeks ago I started sleep training him to go to sleep on his own. I did a combination of the No Cry Sleep Solution, Pick up Put Down and Farber (He never cried alone in his crib, I was there the whole time). Now I can put him in his crib and walk out of the room and I only go back in when he cries to lie him down again. DH has been there but wasn't really involved and was amazed last night that not only did he go to sleep on his own after about 15 mins, but slept through the night. Now that I am getting some decent sleep, I am more able to handle the high spirits and cope with tiredness of the pregnancy.
I won't go into how envious I am about this. I nightweaned about 2 months ago, and while they have been sleeping better, they still wake up. They will sit up and cry in bed. They sleep with us. We only shush them and help them lay down again, sometimes give them a drink of water. I can't understand why they are still waking.

But we are days away from 21 months and things are a tiny bit easier. I will probably be eating those words soon. But having 10 minutes where they play nicely so I can get something done is absolute heaven! Of course I'm usually running in to console one who is bitten or clobbered on the head. These guys are gonna be tough!
post #30 of 61
I was speaking to my mom about this sharing thing the other day, she had 4 kids in seven years and my sister and I are 17 months apart and I came to the realization that it *doesn't* actually get easier, we just get used to how hard it is. With each stage and age there are a set of new challenges. They are less physically dependant but more physically demanding. Yesterday we walked to the park up the road (3.5 mins stroller walking time) and it took us 45 minutes. They had to go into everybody's yard, or lie down on the sidewalk and roll around in front of everybody's house. A neighbor was just parking her car and I could see her just watching us in total amusement as I tried to keep them on track and walking. I was exaughsted by the time we got there and we were only there for five minutes 'cause it started raining. Thank goodness the walk home was only a little less eventful. Needless to say they went to sleep without a fuss and slept most of the night. I sometimes miss those marathon nursing sessions when I was just sitting down and relaxing. Sigh.
post #31 of 61
So...I have a question: How is it that so many of you manage to take your toddler twins to the park/playground without another adult along? Am I way too over-protective? I keep reading stories of twin mamas going places alone with their kids and I am in shock.

Mine are turning 3yo at the end of this month. I sometimes take them to friends houses, or playgroups in confined areas where other adults will be present. And even THAT is stressful. Just getting from the car to wherever we are going, I either have them in a stroller (not their favorite thing anymore) or I have them in harnesses and coax them along, trying to keep them going in the same direction, until we reach "safety". Sometimes to the amusement of onlookers (it can be pretty funny to watch, I'm sure), and other times I get harsh glares and/or comments (about treating my kids like "dogs").

At a playground, the boys are rarely interested in the same things as each other -- one wants to swing (which requires pushing and/or supervision to make sure he doesn't fall or get kicked running in front of other swingers) while one wants to follow an older child up a tall ladder on the other side of the playground. Or one is chasing a ball in the direction of the parking lot while the other is creating a flood around the water fountain. I get so totally stressed out...I certainly wouldn't call it "enjoyable" or "relaxing". Except when I can get them both interested in sitting at the picnic table for a snack. Then, my least favorite part comes when one wants to leave and the other wants to stay. So I end up carrying one unhappy 30-pound child to the car while trying to keep track of the other (and all our stuff) in the parking lot. By the time I've got everybody strapped into car seats and all our stuff back in the car, I'm usually crying tears of relief. And I wonder...how do other mothers do this?

I've only tried solo outings a couple of times, but I would really like to figure out a way to make it work. Do I just need to "toughen up?" I am an older mother (turning 50 this year), so maybe I'm just not hard-wired for this kind of stress?!? Or maybe they will grow out of this phase soon? Any suggestions?
post #32 of 61

On going to the park (long)

Quote:
Originally Posted by newmoon2000 View Post
So...I have a question: How is it that so many of you manage to take your toddler twins to the park/playground without another adult along? Am I way too over-protective? I keep reading stories of twin mamas going places alone with their kids and I am in shock.

...

I've only tried solo outings a couple of times, but I would really like to figure out a way to make it work. Do I just need to "toughen up?" I am an older mother (turning 50 this year), so maybe I'm just not hard-wired for this kind of stress?!? Or maybe they will grow out of this phase soon? Any suggestions?
I think a lot of what it takes to get to the park/playground without another adult starts with a massive dose of courage and slowly transforms into a level of comfort with practice. It isn't easy to be at the park with several kids until you trust them not to run off and trust that they won't hurt themselves too badly if they fall. Because you cannot be in two places at once, there are going to be more accidents and that can be hard to take. One thing to focus on is that until they are 4-5, trips to the park are for them. In a couple of years, you will be able to sit and watch them, but until then, the park is one of those things you do for your kids because it is good for them, not because it is fun for you. And then, if you do enjoy yourself, it is a treat.

I have found that compared to the early years with my eldest, I am having to both set stricter ground rules for the kids and allow myself to experience more fear.

I do take the kids to the playground by myself, but usually somewhere I think there might be another mom I know. Or, I take the kids when I pick DS1 up from school and hope that one of the grade 8 girls that play with my LOs are there. If I end up there by myself, it is usually a short visit. It always feels crazy while we are there, but the kids have a great time and I feel like SuperMom when we get home. Leaving is the hardest part and there are usually tears because somebody doesn't want to go.

I don't walk to the park with the kids by myself. It is 4 busy blocks and we haven't learned to hold hands well enough yet. I always have them in the wagon. I hope to start walking to the park with the whole family this summer and be ready to do it myself by the fall.

By 3, they are old enough to understand some basic ground rules. I am not a big believer in punishment, but I do believe in keeping my kids safe. I would consider using the stroller and the harnesses as logical consequences along the lines of "I need you to be safe, and if you can't hold my hand, I need you to wear the harness," and "If you can't stay on the section of the playground where I can see you, you will need to sit in the stroller and watch your brother play."

I am not above rewarding kids for behaving at the park with a treat. I try to keep them healthy, but still sweeter than we usually have. A juice box in the wagon on the way home for anyone who behaves works wonders for me since they usually get diluted juice.
post #33 of 61
Can I brag? Getting out alone with all of them is something I do well, and I'm proud of it. It does make me feel like Supermom. Sometimes when I need an ego boost, I'll take them all to someplace where I know other moms will be, so I can watch mamas struggling to deal with their one child, and giving me those "how in the heck do you do it?" looks, and it makes me feel like maybe I'm not a total screw-up after all.

I started taking my three out places alone starting pretty early, and I mostly did it because I was struggling with some postpartum depression that was really being aggravated by cabin fever. We'd go to the park, and it would never go well, but I felt better being out of the house. So by the time they were old enough to get around and get in trouble, they were kind of used to the routine. They've kind of grown up with the expectations, I think.

I think it helps if you get out with them often enough that you can start to establish a routine around going out, so they know what to expect. I started by making loading in and out of the car easier, by teaching them to hold onto the wheel well at the back of the car while I was loading each kid in and out. If they let go of the wheel well, I shout in "mock" fear, and carry them back and put their hands there. Now they just do it, and that lets me stop chasing them around in parking lots.

I always take the stroller. That way I have a way to corral them when necessary. I also taught DD1 to hold onto the side of the stroller as we walk, so that she stays close-- I have this fancy red scarf I tie there, and she has to hold that. It comes off, and can be tied to a shopping cart, too. They mostly walk, but the stroller is my fall-back, and nice for holding all the crap that I need for two kids, too.

And I don't hesitate to leave, immediately, if things get out of hand. But I've also learned to tolerate having less control over messes and accidents. That's been hard for me. Yesterday, DS made his way into a knee-deep mud puddle while I was trying to get the stroller into the truck, and he got mud in DD1's car seat, so she flipped out and started yelling, and right at that moment she noticed that DD2 had her doll, so she snatched it away, and so of course DD2 burst into tears, and there's DS with mud up to his ankles. I just turned on the music really loud and drove home while they yelled, and sorted it all out when we got home.

I think I have a fairly high tolerance for protest crying, too, which maybe isn't totally ideal in an AP sense, but it does make getting out easier. I'm pretty used to walking out of places with a crying child on each arm and another trailing behind. We get all strapped in the car, and then we have a nice talk and sort it all out, once everybody's safely in one place. I think I just got used to being a public train wreck, ya know?

Quote:
and I came to the realization that it *doesn't* actually get easier, we just get used to how hard it is.
Yeah. Totally. I say all the time about how it's gotten easier, but I think I've just gotten so that "full-scale crisis control" is my normal level of operation. I used to think when I had DD1 that getting out with one baby was really hard. Yeah, right.
post #34 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
Yeah. Totally. I say all the time about how it's gotten easier, but I think I've just gotten so that "full-scale crisis control" is my normal level of operation. I used to think when I had DD1 that getting out with one baby was really hard. Yeah, right.
I totally agree with all these sentiments! What do you say when a new twin mom asks you if it gets any easier? I never know what to say because I don't want to be a "negative Nelly" but I don't want to paint it as all sunshine and roses either
post #35 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalynnsmom View Post
I totally agree with all these sentiments! What do you say when a new twin mom asks you if it gets any easier? I never know what to say because I don't want to be a "negative Nelly" but I don't want to paint it as all sunshine and roses either
I never know what to say either. I got lots of those comments: it's easier after the first six weeks, three months, six months, the first year, the first eighteen months, two years, four years, six years. The answers say more about the person giving the advice. I felt really weird hitting some of those milestones. This kinda of advice sets up faulty expectations. Now I just ignore it when I hear it. There's just no way to compare other people's experiences.

But I should come up with a good response when I'm asked by younger moms. Every day's better? Every day's different? Something.
post #36 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gena 22 View Post
I never know what to say either. I got lots of those comments: it's easier after the first six weeks, three months, six months, the first year, the first eighteen months, two years, four years, six years. The answers say more about the person giving the advice. I felt really weird hitting some of those milestones. This kinda of advice sets up faulty expectations. Now I just ignore it when I hear it. There's just no way to compare other people's experiences.

But I should come up with a good response when I'm asked by younger moms. Every day's better? Every day's different? Something.
On email, I usually have an articulate response about how every stage has different challenges and every parent finds some challenges easier than others. IRL, I tend not to be so articulate.
post #37 of 61

A moment to share

Life gets to be a little to much for DH and I these days - he had his hours cut way back just when we were in the middle of remodeling our house. Less $ in, more $ out. Plenty to keep us anxious, so we've taken a vow to focus on the positive. So here goes:

DH has a favorite twin. Not what I'd want, and I try to keep things equal, but I can see why. There's a great personality match between them. Which is good, because the other twin is a crazy mommy-addict. So last night DH picked Izzy up to greet her, or just for a cuddle. As he held her up, talking to her, she nuzzled him. Rubbing noses like an esquimo kiss. She's an adorable girl, and I think this was one of the cutest scenes ever. Seriously, it could be on YouTube. But it's not. It's just my mental vacation when I'm getting mad at the insurance folks, or at work, or . . .
post #38 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gena 22 View Post
Life gets to be a little to much for DH and I these days - he had his hours cut way back just when we were in the middle of remodeling our house. Less $ in, more $ out. Plenty to keep us anxious, so we've taken a vow to focus on the positive. So here goes:

DH has a favorite twin. Not what I'd want, and I try to keep things equal, but I can see why. There's a great personality match between them. Which is good, because the other twin is a crazy mommy-addict. So last night DH picked Izzy up to greet her, or just for a cuddle. As he held her up, talking to her, she nuzzled him. Rubbing noses like an esquimo kiss. She's an adorable girl, and I think this was one of the cutest scenes ever. Seriously, it could be on YouTube. But it's not. It's just my mental vacation when I'm getting mad at the insurance folks, or at work, or . . .


Sorry to hear things have been tough, Gena!! I'll keep you in my prayers!

I understand where you're coming from about having favorites. My DH and I are pretty enamored with both boys- it's easy when we have three older kiddos who are always fighting!! My aunt and uncle definitely have their favorite. It used to bother me, but I guess they are more matched to one than the other- like you're describing.
post #39 of 61
I'll be back to read the other posts but have to run for now. Looks like exciting times ahead!
post #40 of 61
I just wanted to say that before the title edit...this came up as "Anyone interested in a twin" in the new posts.

You women are amazing!
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