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Anyone interested in a multiple/toddler support thread? - Page 3

post #41 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I just wanted to say that before the title edit...this came up as "Anyone interested in a twin" in the new posts.

You women are amazing!
LOL On Monday, my three had what really did amount to a three-way brawl in the doorway of DD1's preschool, over a baby doll. Anyway, they're all screaming their heads off, and the director comes out and she's like, "do you need help?" and I was like, "yeah, you want to buy a couple of kids, cheap?"
post #42 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I just wanted to say that before the title edit...this came up as "Anyone interested in a twin" in the new posts.
One of the women in my extended family and her wife have been wondering about raising children. When they found out I was expecting triplets, one of them said "Hey, one for you, one for DH, and one for us, cool." I think they seriously would have adopted one if I had offered.
post #43 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
LOL On Monday, my three had what really did amount to a three-way brawl in the doorway of DD1's preschool, over a baby doll. Anyway, they're all screaming their heads off, and the director comes out and she's like, "do you need help?" and I was like, "yeah, you want to buy a couple of kids, cheap?"

post #44 of 61
Thread Starter 
:::My babies turned 2 today!!!!!:::

Where does the time go??? I can't believe they are two already!!
post #45 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
:::My babies turned 2 today!!!!!:::

Where does the time go??? I can't believe they are two already!!
Congratulations and Happy Birthday to them!

I can't believe how fast the time has flown, either.
post #46 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
:::My babies turned 2 today!!!!!:::

Where does the time go??? I can't believe they are two already!!
:

Wow, you've got big kids on your hands!
post #47 of 61
Dd has her first cold. Put a mattress on the lr floor, pulled the baby einstein out for the first time ever. trying to keep her lying still w/ books etc. oh dear, this is a tricky day.
post #48 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by esaesa View Post
Dd has her first cold. Put a mattress on the lr floor, pulled the baby einstein out for the first time ever. trying to keep her lying still w/ books etc. oh dear, this is a tricky day.
Oh, poor baby! That's amazing she's gone this long without a cold!! I swear by saline drops (for the nose) throughout the day, and a humidifier. Does she seem pretty miserable?

post #49 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
Oh, poor baby! That's amazing she's gone this long without a cold!! I swear by saline drops (for the nose) throughout the day, and a humidifier. Does she seem pretty miserable?

just lethargic, runny nose, congested. not too cranky. it takes twice as long to nurse bc she can't breathe. i can't find the good aspirator and wish i could blow her nose! have humidifier w/ eucyluptus eo, natural equivalent to vicks, cham tea, will try saline or bm up the nose. good reminder. hopefully ds and i stay well. i can't believe it is the first either. i'm thankful for happy, healthy babies. thankful she is still nursing.
nak
post #50 of 61
Our boys seemed to always have a snot factory working overtime inside their noses. I bought a little aspirator, like one that they have in the hospital. They hated it, but it sucked all the muck out and afterwards they seemed to breathe better. We also put rolled up towels under their matresses to elevate them and that seemed to help them as well (until they started moving and we found them curled up at the bottom of the bed lying flat )

For the first three months I never left the house with them. We lived

With regards to the park...we live in a gated community on a really quiet street way in the burbs and the sidewalks are wide with no streets to cross between here and there. It is also a small park with one entrance/exit. I can usually keep and eye on both of them even if they are at opposite ends of the park. D decided last week that he was actually four, not 20 months and climbed up the ladder to the slide instead of using the stairs. R is a little bit shorter, had the intention but couldn't quite do it. Sigh. They grow up so fast don't they?

We are now into the first stages of toilet training. I will start in earnst in the the summer and hope they are trained by the time the new baby comes.
post #51 of 61
Hope your DD's feeling better now, Emily! Did it really skip your DS and you? We haven't managed that yet. Slow congested nursing is so sad! But fortunately it passes pretty quick.

This weekend was a big milestone around our house. I packed up the EZ2 Nurse pillow! I think I might sell it and the one at my mom's house at our next twin sale. Hard to let them go after so much time spent! We've always been tandem nursers, but now that the babies are bigger, they can nurse in any number of crazy positions. I miss the pillow because it meant I was hands free, but it is great to be without it too.

Free-nursing!
post #52 of 61

I don’t know what do about this, I have made a #*@!!! mess of this

I really hope this is a support thread because I really need support. I am really starting to lose myself. There must be some kind of medical term for it like there is with postpartum depression, something like extreme toddler mommy burnout syndrome. I can’t keep control of my emotions anymore and have these raging crying fits. When I say I feel like I am going crazy I want it understood that I mean that in a way that if there isn’t some kind of change things are going to get very ugly.
Here is the root of the problem. I got some very bad parenting advice when I was pregnant with my twins. “You have to get them on a schedule. Let them CIO. Blah blah.” I’m sure you have all heard it, but it doesn’t work for all babies or all families. I bought the recommended book, Babywise, and read it before my twins were born. Well my son had different plans. He was a very high needs baby (with bad colic) from day one, and would only sleep on top of me. I also moved my daughter into our bed because it didn’t feel right to have her sleeping on her own. I really can’t believe parents can actually leave their babies to CIO after having my own children.
I was completely uninformed on attachment parenting at that time, but was just trying to do what felt natural to me. Neither did I have time to research parenting; it was all about just getting through the day. I was just winging it, still armed with the information that I had to get them on a schedule. But they had different sleep needs, so I started this really high maintenance nap routine to keep them both on the same schedule.
Now they are 18 months old, they still don’t have the same sleep needs, but I feel stuck with this routine that I absolutely RESENT. It involves keeping them awake until one of them is grouchy then boob them to sleep. Most days it goes fine, but sometimes I misinterpret their grouchiness and try to put them down for a nap too early. The result, maybe one gets to sleep but the other will wake the sleeping twin. This will keep going back and forth for hours, one waking the other, and I will have sore nipples letting them nurse for hours. I get seriously crazy when this happens because I have invested so much effort trying to get them to sleep. I know it isn’t their fault, but I can’t help it.
I don’t know if it is too late to do something different about their nap time, but I am open to any suggestions. I also know that I need to let go of my emotional attachment to this schedule thing that I have invested so much of myself into. Maybe I need counseling, if I had the time, but I really feel like I just need more help, and maybe lower expectations for myself. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

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EDIT
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Thanks so much for all your support, it helps me not feel so alone. I like the idea of one on one time with them, but I don’t have the space to nap them separately without some major childproofing overhauls which I just don’t have time for now. I have been in the habit of nursing one of them every half hour in the mornings so I can sleep in. I’m thinking if I get up earlier with my girl and try to let my boy sleep in a little extra nap time might go more smoothly. I looked up the Elizabeth Pantley book http://www.pregnancy.org/article/whe...d-pantley-pull and got some good ideas. The twins already fall asleep without nursing at bedtime, they will also stop nursing when I say all done at any time of day other than nap time (unless they really need the extra comforting.) I had to do this because they were really over-nursing me to fall asleep at night, but nap time has been the real challenge. I’m going to try getting their room darker and moving their bedtime earlier to try to make naps easier. I’m also going to stop the marathon nap nursing, if they don’t look drowsy after 10 min then “all done” and we will try again in an hour. I actually did this last part today, I curled up on the bed waiting for the next round and my son joined me. He actually fell asleep. My daughter didn’t nap, but she slept in this morning, 12.5 hours last night. Maybe she is just ready to drop the nap on some days.
post #53 of 61
I, too, am having mummy burnout in a big way, so I hear you. And sleep is such a big deal.

I haven't read Elizabeth Pantley's book on Toddler Sleep, but her book The No-Cry Sleep Solution has a technique she suggests for breaking the nurse to sleep connection. It's didn't work for my high needs baby, but it might work for at least one of your kids.

If you can break the nursing to sleep connection, maybe you will be able to make getting each one to sleep a little easier.

I am struggling with the different sleep needs issue. I eased my kids on to a schedule quite early and they are still pretty good about going to sleep at the same time, but I have to be pretty quick to get a waking child if I want the others to sleep more. I don't know if it would help as your kids are older, but the way I got them to go down to sleep at about the same time was to push the "first to be tired" child to stay awake until the second child was starting to get sleepy, so I wasn't trying to put one to sleep before s/he was at all ready.
post #54 of 61
My twins will be 3 in mid-May. We've had a rough few weeks with tantrums, but we also just moved into a new home and they are getting used to a new living environment. On their own, they decided to no longer share a room, for the first week the transition was seamless but in the last two weeks we've had some rough bedtimes and lots of night waking. They both climb in bed with us for snuggles, just like when they were babies. Both are potty trained, my daughter the week after she turned two, and my son at 2.5. In some ways I love how much they've accomplished and evolved over the last three years, but at the same time I wish I could have my babies back, just for a few hours.

I've always taken them out and about on my own, I'm fiercely independent, sometimes to my own detriment! They don't run in opposite directions as much anymore, but in the past I've had to tuck my daughter under my arm and sprint after my son. He's a very fast runner, and it is amazing how many people will step aside to let him run by even when I'm obviously chasing and shouting for him to stop!
post #55 of 61
My babies are about 3 weeks away from being toddlers! SOBSOBSOBSOB

So I suppose I will join in here. We're starting to fight over toys and boy isn't that fun? It's actually fairly cute still though I'm pretty sure it won't stay that way for long. The other day Ben had a banana and Claire decided to crawl over and help herself. She took off speed crawling, banana in hand, and Ben lunged and TACKLED her for it, all the while she's screaming her head off like she's being killed. Another time she had something he wanted so he just put his head down and bulldozed her and took it (all the while she's screaming her head off....I see the pattern here).

Twinergy, I'm so sorry things are hard for you at the moment. I agree you need to maybe grab Elizabeth Pantley's book. It's a lifesaver. It will also give you the permission you seek to LET GO of that awful Babywise crap. And crap it is my friend. You don't have to stay beholden to that anymore. Sleep is precious and you need to do something different so you can get some peace.

For us, my twins are SUPER different people. I try to meet both of their needs seperately and just not worry about if it's working for both. I actually enjoy that they nap differently so I can have alone time with the other baby! We nap them in different rooms now to facilitate their different needs. Ben sleeps less, but at longer stretches. Claire takes more, shorter cat naps. Once they are sleeping what THEY need to sleep you'll find your whole world gets MUCH easier. Non-sore boobies and less cranky kiddos. Also, perhaps your higher needs baby would benefit from just some alone time with mommy while his twin sleeps?
post #56 of 61
Twinergy I give you

I have one high needs and one angel baby. We seperated them for naps really early on because they were alway waking each other up. The no cry sleep solution worked for only one of the kids, but that was enough. I now give him his blanket, give him his pacifyer and put him in bed and walk out of the room. Then I go back and deal with the other one. It is much easier. They were on sort of the same schedule for a while, but I was going with their body rythms. Now, DS1 sleeps from 9-11 am and DS2 sleeps from 11:45 - 1 ish. It doesn't give me baby free time, but it does give me one-on-one time and we do fun things like put the laundry in the machine and then hang it on the line

Feel free to let go of this whole schedule thing and just follow their rythms. I also felt that giving DS2 bottles of water instead of nursing helped as well. That way he didn't nurse for hours on end (and he could) and I could fill the bottles up as much as needed (although leaky diapers are sometimes an issue). He usually don't drink that much, but after a few weeks I could put him in his bed with the bottle, wait for him to finish, he gives me the bottle and then he just rolls over and goes to sleep (most of the time).

When they were baby babies, the schedule worked great, but as they got older, they had different needs and I just went with it. It was quite frustrating at the beginning because I felt I needed baby free time, but I now have happier kids, so it makes it worth it. Feel free to PM me if you need more support.
post #57 of 61
twinergy

some fab suggestions already. mine have no schedule at all, but like intertwined said i quite like to have one to one with the other twin. and they're still just 7 months too

i also wanted to add the suggestion that as they get older sometimes they want story or play time (or a conversation with mum) rather than nursing. perhaps you can transfer to another rhythm (rather than fixed schedule) of gentle story time before a nap? that way you still have something to hold onto (after all schedules are something to attach to and give us hope, no?!) but the new rhythm you find can be more in line with your intuition, more flexible, more gentle/peaceful etc

i love the christopherus kindy book for ideas on rhythm in the home and it'd be a good investment if you intend to home school. it's aimed at age 3-6 year olds, but imo is good to read earlier rather than later. maybe search for the waldorf ed forum/ home school here for some comprehensive reviews.
post #58 of 61
Thread Starter 
I don't have time to reply right now, but wanted to send lots of hugs your way....

I'll try to type later!!
post #59 of 61
I'm getting on board. My twins are 2.5 and I also have an 8 month old and 4 year old at home. I have 4 others in school. We don't have sleep issues and I'm no longer nursing the twins just the baby. My problems revolve around Aslan my boy twin. He is super inquisitive. We're having him evaluated for Aspergers because one of my older dds has Aspergers and the way he acts is identical to the way she was as a toddler. He is into everything. He is very conspirational about it as well. He brings my girl twin in on a lot of it but mostly she will play with toys and is fairly average toddler behavior. Aslan on the other hand waits until I am nursing or run (and I mean run) to the bathroom or whatever I do that draws my attention away from him for even a second. Then he is pulling condiments out of the fridge and pouring them all over the floor or climbing on the counters to get into cabinets that are usually out of his reach. He has gotten into the child-proofed (what a joke) drawer with the silverware and gotten a butter knife and used it to jimmy the lock on my bedroom door so he could get my camera and change all the settings on it. He did this while I was using the bathroom. I was gone for less than 2 mins. He has taken apart the baby gate in order to get downstairs and undo both lock and deadbolt on the front door and try to make a break for the great outdoors. They were taking their diapers off and rubbing poop everywhere until we moved them to toddler beds thinking they would play with their toys when they woke instead of using that time to take off their diapers. Well, it solved the diaper problem but there have been a few times in the middle of the night when I woke to find Aslan in the living room with the tv or computer on and a couple times I heard something and got up to find the fridge door open and an entire gallon of milk poured out on the floor. I had to padlock the pantry door shut to protect my flour, sugar, and other foodstuffs from middle of the night Aslan raids. So I spend most of my time getting them out of stuff. We go outside after naptime for most of the day from about 1:30 until 6:30 and that's slightly easier because they can't get into much trouble outside. But then yesterday, Aslan somehow managed to break the lock on the gate in the backyard and get out of the fence. I have an 8 month old who naps in the morning otherwise we'd go out in the morning too.

All that said they're mostly good when we go out in public. Aslan has some of the same issues Tea had at that age. He will have major meltdowns if he gets overstimulated and at that point our only option is to come home because he can't get it under control at all, but we try to stay away from super stimulating environments. I have older kids who help when we go somewhere. The twins are still in their stroller and don't complain and all the other kids walk next to me or hold onto the stroller/buggy. I'm teaching the twins to do this too when I have the baby in a stroller but I prefer to wear him most of the time giving me two free hands. I'm just ready for the exploration stage to sort of die down a bit.
post #60 of 61
Thanks so much for all your replies, I have edited my previous post with some updates on the nap status. You guys really helped me a lot. I don’t think my son is ready to night-wean yet, he is too active during the day to bother eating. Also thank you for the suggestion about finding our rhythm, I think we will also benefit from this
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