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Stillbirth of William George - update: pic post #71 - Page 9

post #161 of 175
Dawn, thank you for posting your blog link. Its such a great way for us to understand what you are going through and how strong you are!
I really teared up at the line about loving your husband more than youve ever thought possible. This is exactly how I feel about my DH, especially now that weve been through the big, dramatic birth and he has really shown me that hes not only my partner but my best friend and also my rock.
Thank goodness for husbands, huh?

post #162 of 175
Dawn,

Thinkin about you and Mischievium every day and sending wishes for peace during such imaginable circumstances.

Your blog is breathtaking. I think you should write a book....or several. You are a gifted writer.

XOXO
B
post #163 of 175
saw this in new posts and wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. He is beautiful, I am so so sorry.
post #164 of 175
Thread Starter 
Thanks Kay...

Beth, I'm considering a book, actually... not just of my story, but many stories... one of the things that's kept me sane and helped me heal (so far) is reading the experiences of other women who have experienced a loss like this. And there's so very little out there about it.

You'd think, considering there are 10x more stillbirths a year than SIDS deaths, that there would be tons... but there really isn't. No one seems to want to talk about it... :
post #165 of 175


Holding you in my heart today...Remembering William at 2 months.
post #166 of 175
: William

Hope you made it through the day w/Z's b.day.
post #167 of 175
post #168 of 175
: Remembering your sweet William
post #169 of 175
Thread Starter 
Thank you. :

I miss him so much. Seems crazy to miss something you never had, but there it is.
post #170 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI_Dawn View Post
Thank you. :

I miss him so much. Seems crazy to miss something you never had, but there it is.

Dawn,

But you DID have him...he was your baby that you carried for 39 glorious weeks. You were proud of him, made uncomfortable at times by him, and maybe annoyed by him with hick ups or kicks. He was and is your baby, delight, flesh, joy, pain, sorrow, and grief.

But the hole in your heart left by little William George will always be there...he was your son. I am so very sorry that your precious baby died, and that you will have to endure so many more of these painful milestones that will remind you of this heartache.

A book is a wonderful idea, and I hope you are able to do that. I have come across some poems for mother's that have lost babies if you would like for me to share them with you, I'd be happy to.

I pray that your very broken heart will over time begin to mend, so that one day you can begin to feel peace, rest, and joy again.

Blessings,

Rebecca
post #171 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI_Dawn View Post
Thank you. :

I miss him so much. Seems crazy to miss something you never had, but there it is.
I'm sure sometimes our words are mere words as we have no idea how this feels, most of us don't anyway..

but Dawn, you did have him. William was alive, maybe not by the silly standards of this world, but he was alive. You felt him move, you fed him through your body and you saw and heard his heart beat, he was alive and it was real... You knew him, he knew you and you both felt that personal loving connection that noone else felt. How could you not miss him...

I miss him with you (tears) and I'm not even connected to either of you... He didn't take a breath in this world but he was certainly alive and loved.
post #172 of 175
Dawn, I don't think anyone would argue that you certainly did have him. Not in the way you & everyone else would have liked, but he was physically a part of you for 9 months & no definition of the law can take that away from you.


i wish he was here in your arms
post #173 of 175
Thread Starter 
Thank you, yes. Sometimes I feel like he was a dream. I mean, not literally, I know he was real. But another baby-loss mama's analogy really struck me - talking about my experience of having him those nine months is like trying to tell someone else about a dream I had. I can only make it so real for someone else... they didn't live it. And no one else ever got to experience him alive, like I did, inside of me. Everyone else was waiting for him to "arrive" and he never did. So yes, I had him. I was the only one who ever did, really. My own. My precious.

Ha, now I sound like Gollum. If you see my sanity, let me know...
post #174 of 175
yep, Dawn, your words ring so true to me. When I lost Owen, early on, DH said something to the effect about how he had really only known & experienced Owen through me, in utero. That helped me understand why I mourned & ached for Owen so much more passionately (not sure if that's the right word) than DH. kwim?
post #175 of 175
This goes to show how amazing the mother/child bond is in womb. This is so very important. Its quite powerful and is to be cherished. We all feel that special bond, right there with you Dawn.
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