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Attempted UC of Xander Alden

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 
From my blog, written for a different audience:

Xander Alden was born at 2:24am on Sunday, March 29th. He was 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 inches long (there was some confusion over this, but his chart finally cleared that up). Two hours after my water broke, active labor kicked in. The first two hours I was somewhat in doubt that it was really happening and from there on out, things went very fast and got so very intense. It was only 10 hours from the first contraction to birth, a bit fast for a first labor.

I started involuntarily pushing at 7cm and started to get that feeling that unless I was completely wrong about what full dilation feels like, things were about to get rough. I fought the urge to push as much as I possibly could (I'm sure the neighbors loved the noise) but by the time I hit 9.5cm, I felt that my cervix was too swollen and I couldn't feel Xander making any downward progress after trying my best to push past the lip. By then, Joe was getting panicked and I was in a lot of pain and having trouble focusing on making pushing effective so we made the decision to transfer to Mercy Hospital. I tried the best I could, but the truth was that I was unprepared for how fast and intense labor was and got scared. I absolutely do not regret attempting an unassisted birth.

The ride to the hospital was agonizing and by the time we got there, I could barely stand, let alone walk through the contractions. Somehow we made it up to labor and delivery (why did that have to be the top floor?), I screamed personal information at the intake nurse inbetween contractions and involuntary pushing and was wheeled into a delivery suite. After some blood work and a hep lock, the OB made his way in (he told me later that his speciality is actually pelvic surgery, good thing I showed up right at the end of labor and not the beginning, can't imagine what his c-section rate is). I was offered the option of an epidural....yeah....at 9.5cm. Of course I said "hell yes!" knowing full well that there was no way I was going to get one, it was purely psychological. A cervical check concluded that I was indeed at the very edge of full dilation but had a swollen anterior lip preventing baby's head from entering the birth canal. With some rough handling, the OB pushed the edge of my cervix over baby's head. From that point on, his fingers did not leave my vagina which increased the pain to blinding levels. Pushing while flat on my back inbetween arguing with nurses and the OB didn't really help matters either. Eventually, I got Xander's head past my pelvic bone and all that was left to do was push him out. This is where it got really ugly between me and the OB. His fingers were still in my vagina even though they did not need to be and no amount of protest from me got them out. As the head began to crown (let me remind you that I'm still flat on my back and now pushing against gravity), the OB said the word "cut" and I knew he was reaching for the scissors to preform an episiotomy. He actually had the gall to tell me that there was no possible way that Xander's head was going to fit through my vaginal opening. So as my baby's head is crowning, I'm having a screaming match with the OB about my right to choose tearing over being cut. He of course threatens that I'm going to wind up with a 4th degree tear straight into my rectum, incontinence, inablility to have more kids, etc. When I demanded the liability release form, he realized I was dead serious about not being cut and agreed to "let" me continue pushing (again, his fingers are STILL in my vagina). I did indeed manage to push my baby's head out through the opening that was supposed to be too small, even with fingers (with another now jammed up my rectum) in the way and of course I tore into my perinium and labia, both second degree.

Xander came out pink and crying, blowing away the OB's "blue baby" claim. Apgars of 9 and 8 despite being pulled out once his head had been birthed and imediate cord clamping. The OB claimed they would put the cord blood into him down in the nursery, I could've kicked his face in just for that load of bullshit, but it happened before I had a chance to argue. He's obviously a bit jaundiced, but I'm glad he's such a hardy little guy. Because I had a slight temperature, he was whisked off to the nursery without my having a chance to hold him first. Joe stayed with him the whole time to make sure nothing was done without our consent. This is about when I heard the word "Cytotec" and again had to start fighting with the OB.

He didn't want to give me a chance to deliver the placenta on my own and started applying traction. I yelled at him to give me a chance to deliver it myself and did so very quickly, no Cytotec or traction necessary. I asked if I would be able to take it home with me and was pleasantly suprised when a nurse answered yes. After 2 hours of being stitched up, it was time to go down to recovery. The first time I tried to get up, my blood pressure plummeted to 50/30. Luckily, I didn't fall and a bag of fluids and some oxygen got me right back on my feet and down to recovery.

I had a few hours before the nursery finished doing their tests on Xander (I wasn't in good enough shape to go down to see him) so I caught some sleep. Joe came in with our little boy just as the sun was rising at which point I cried tears of joy at finally getting to hold and feed my son.

I'm disappointed I didn't get the gentle birth I had wanted for him and am a bit worried about the long-term emotional effects the birth will have on me when it all starts to sink in. We're still happily babymooning and my gorgeous little boy is keeping my mind in a good place right now. Thankfully, we still managed to avoid almost all of the standard newborn procedures and are doing well at home. I am so in love with him.
post #2 of 37
Oh he is beautiful!

Congrats mama!
post #3 of 37
oh my gosh, wow

he is adorable, though, what a beautiful pic! CONGRATS!!
post #4 of 37
Wow--a little shaken up reading this--this seriously was almost EXACTLY my birth story with my first. I had a long, slow labor, though, and was exhausted and went in at 9.5 with a stubborn lip. Lots of screaming to push, pain, flat on my back, supposed need for episiotomy. I wasn't as insistent as you, though, and ended up with a huge episiotomy which extended badly. That was the worst part about the entire thing.

You are so strong, mama! Congratulations! BTW, after that hospital experience with my first, I have had two UCs since then.
post #5 of 37
Sorry you had a rough time of it. Good job standing your ground and congrats on your new babe!
post #6 of 37
I'm sorry things didnt' go like you would have wanted them to ... but... your baby is absolutely beautiful, and you must know that when/if you need to talk about the birth experience and process it, most of us have had at least one traumatic experience and can relate.
post #7 of 37
Congratulations! : Your baby is beautiful. It was rough to read, but man, you are AWESOME! Good for you for literally fighting to birth your baby!
post #8 of 37
Excellent use of your own VOICE mama. I wish more women were as informed and able to do what you did in a tough situation. WELL DONE!


AS for the rest ... don't hesitate to talk it out!

Congratulations on the birth of your precious babe ....
post #9 of 37
[QUOTE=saharasky;13492523]Excellent use of your own VOICE mama. I wish more women were as informed and able to do what you did in a tough situation. WELL DONE! QUOTE]




And the picture of the both of you, all aglow, is one of the most beautiful and endearing I've ever seen.

Congrats mama.....and happy babymooning~~
post #10 of 37
I'm so sorry your birth ended up like that. I'd be tempted to at least *try* to charge the doctor with sexual assault for not getting his hands out of you. At the very least, when you're up to it, you should file a complaint against him. & congratulations on your new little one.
post #11 of 37
way to go mama for standing your ground - I hope that should I be in a similar situation I have the strength that you showed.

Congrats on your beautiful baby boy! Enjoy your babymoon!
post #12 of 37
You are strong and brave mama, that story is a lot to take in.

Congratulations....your little one is precious!! YOU'RE A MOTHER!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!! :::
post #13 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by augustacherri View Post
Wow--a little shaken up reading this--this seriously was almost EXACTLY my birth story with my first. I had a long, slow labor, though, and was exhausted and went in at 9.5 with a stubborn lip. Lots of screaming to push, pain, flat on my back, supposed need for episiotomy. I wasn't as insistent as you, though, and ended up with a huge episiotomy which extended badly. That was the worst part about the entire thing.

You are so strong, mama! Congratulations! BTW, after that hospital experience with my first, I have had two UCs since then.
OMG yes! The tears and stitches are so painful and I can't wait until my vagina starts feeling like a vagina again. It doesn't help that the labial tear went straight in towards my urethra, I had to have a catheter inserted so they didn't accidentally sew it shut I don't have a doubt in my mind though that the tears wouldn't have been nearly as bad if there hadn't been fingers "assisting" a crowning head, maybe I wouldn't have torn at all.

I do definitely understand giving in during the heat of the moment though, we both wound up with IV ABX and my scared DH discouraged me from fighting the lumbar puncture on our little boy I do wish I'd prepped DH sooner, I'd been planning to do so that very weekend so that everything would be fresh in his mind and I wouldn't have to fight nearly as hard if we did wind up transfering (and he might've been more supportive during labor). *sigh* Hindsight....

Thank you for sharing everyone, it means a lot to me to know that you all understand exactly where I'm coming from

Oh...and I did kick the intake nurse when she tried to do a cervical check in the middle of a contraction (I plead the reflex defense), score one for ALL of us
post #14 of 37
Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy! I'm sorry you had to go through all of that to get him here.
post #15 of 37
omg whaT an ORDEAL to have to go through with thatOB your baby is beautifil :
post #16 of 37
Please post this in FYT. And some of us would privately like to know this OB's name through PM.
post #17 of 37
What a beautiful baby. Congrats Mama. He is going to bring you many amazing moments! What a birthing journey you had. You shared with us both the more magical and organic moments and the more harrowing and scarier aspects and I thank you for your honesty. You did a fantastic job of laboring your baby out and into the world and an even more amazing job of advocating for yourself and your baby at what is one of the most intense times to be able to do that. Well done Mama.
post #18 of 37
Wow, that doc shows an awesome understanding of informed consent. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I'm so glad for your new baby and that you are so happy with your accomplishment in bringing him into the world. I love his name too! He's got an awesome mama who knows how to fight for him!
post #19 of 37
Gosh, what a story. I read it to my husband and we had a thorough discussion about doctors yet again. Ugh.

I am so glad you guys are okay after the trauma. Happy Babymoon!
post #20 of 37
congratulations on the baby!!!!

it seems like you had a rough night, mama! I hope you are able to snuggle in with that big bundle of joy and have a wonderful babymoon, even if the birthing experience wasn't exactly what you had been expecting.
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