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[limabean]

So today I actually checked the clock to see how our time panned out when DH got home.

He walked in the door at 5:04, immediately got down on the floor with our kids and greeted them/played until 5:15, went upstairs until 5:29 while I played with the kids outside, then he came downstairs and we all hung out/ate until 6:15, when I left to grab a cup of coffee and chill out with a crossword puzzle in a cafe for an hour (which turned into almost 2 hours -- I got home at 8:05).

So I guess, after his initial 11-minute greeting with the kids, he took 14 minutes to himself before putting in another 2 hours, including the whole bedtime routine for both kids. I'm cool with giving him the 14 minutes.

[greenmamapagan]

Originally Posted by KailuaMamatoMaya

zero.
He has his commute to decompress.

Why would I imply to Maya that she is something he needs to "prepare" for or "rest before" when she wants to be with him? What. ever.

She wants to see him and be with him because she loves him and has missed him - when he's home it's DADDY TIME.

Ditto

[bwylde]

Hmmmm...DH gets "daddy daddy daddy" from DD for about 30 seconds when he comes home (DS ignores him), then he goes upstairs and sleeps until mealtime, then he sleeps or plays on the computer, then dissappears (usually sleeping again). And DH wonders why he doesn't feel like part of the family and why DD is so excited to see him and DS doesn't bother with him : : .

[limabean]

Originally Posted by bwylde

Hmmmm...DH gets "daddy daddy daddy" from DD for about 30 seconds when he comes home (DS ignores him), then he goes upstairs and sleeps until mealtime, then he sleeps or plays on the computer, then dissappears (usually sleeping again). And DH wonders why he doesn't feel like part of the family and why DD is so excited to see him and DS doesn't bother with him : : .

That's a lot of sleeping -- does he sleep all night too after all that napping? Does he work super-long hours or something? Or could he be depressed? I'd be worried if my DH needed to sleep all the time like that.

[darkblue0729]

Originally Posted by alegna

Zero. Dd pounces him the moment she hears his key in the door (except of course when she sees his car and runs out to meet him) -Angela

:

No one in this house gets downtime, lol

[ryansma]

None. He get's down time when the kids are in bed.

[ryansma]

originally posted by kailuamamatomaya
zero.
He has his commute to decompress.

Why would i imply to maya that she is something he needs to "prepare" for or "rest before" when she wants to be with him? What. Ever.

She wants to see him and be with him because she loves him and has missed him - when he's home it's daddy time.

yes!

[lilempressmommy]

I don't count DH's commute as a break. As far as I'm concerned, it is still a work day. It is a 45m ~ 1.5h commute depending on traffic. There's only one route possible and it is NOTHING but bumper to bumper traffic for the last 15 miles home. It is anything but relaxing.

DD's pretty adamant about getting her Daddy time these days so she'll toddle right up to him and demand that he take her. Gives me a good 15 ~ 30 minute break when DH gets home.

[threadbey]

Originally Posted by yukookoo

Just curious.

Dh commutes, so his drive is about 45 min. I know many aren't going to see things my way but to me thats a long break. He's on the phone, listening ot the radio etc. i REALLY look forward to drives in the car, that's MY break. I get to listen to npr or music or whatever while DD is strapped to something not running around making a mess or getting into trouble. Ok i went off a bit there haha

Dh is really good about taking her when he gets home.

I just really dont buy that the ooh worker needs to get home and immediately get down time, while for some reason the sah does not. I would love to take my "work clothes" off and get in my pj's wash my face, eat etc. It's not like i can do those things during the day.

Dh takes about 30 minutes or so on average. It's not bad and then he takes dd and gives me an hour. He puts dd to sleep then he gets the rest of the night including a full nights sleep. I sleep with dd in a different room - he doesnt even hear her cry or wake up at night.

Didn't have time to read any of the other responses, but I also see car time as a break! DH doesn't totally agree and we just don't discuss it (he tends to accuse me of seeing his "whole day" as "one big break" when we get into it!) BUT he is pretty much "on" from the minute he steps in the door. He'll often take a few minutes to go change, but DS usually follows him. Of course, most days I'm not actually "off" until DS is in bed (usually DH does that) and the kitchen is clean (usually I do that during DS's bedtime routine). And also, DH is usually out of the house for 12 hours or more per day, so he's not "on" for very long, even if he starts the second he walks in. Luckily, he doesn't seem to think he deserves some kind of "break" when he gets home because by that point in the day, DS and I are both DONE - we really need DH to breathe some fresh air in!

[Grace_Foley]

I'll be the voice of distention on this one-- commuting is not relaxing. A 45 minute drive is a lot of work; there is no relaxing in evening or morning traffic. I know I end up playing some life and death games of "dodge car" during my commutes, I honestly don't enjoy it, even with the radio on.

Weekend driving, love it.

I am a single mom, my child is in the car with me; when we get home I tell her I need some 'mommy time' and she needs to play in her play space for a while. I take 15 minutes to change out of work clothes into something comfortable, wash up, read the mail before beginning the grind of prepping and serving dinner.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by yukookoo

Just curious.

Dh commutes, so his drive is about 45 min. I know many aren't going to see things my way but to me thats a long break. He's on the phone, listening ot the radio etc. i REALLY look forward to drives in the car, that's MY break. I get to listen to npr or music or whatever while DD is strapped to something not running around making a mess or getting into trouble. Ok i went off a bit there haha

Dh is really good about taking her when he gets home.

I just really dont buy that the ooh worker needs to get home and immediately get down time, while for some reason the sah does not. I would love to take my "work clothes" off and get in my pj's wash my face, eat etc. It's not like i can do those things during the day.

Dh takes about 30 minutes or so on average. It's not bad and then he takes dd and gives me an hour. He puts dd to sleep then he gets the rest of the night including a full nights sleep. I sleep with dd in a different room - he doesnt even hear her cry or wake up at night.

Dh gets enough time to wash his hands, change his clothes and go to the bathroom. Then he takes DD and makes dinner w/ her. (It's sooo cute, she loves making dinner haha).

Anyways, it works out b/c after dinner I nurse DD asleep and have my "alone time" taking a shower, getting online, etc. So he can play videogames for an hour or two. Then we have our together time, then we go to bed.

Unless his commute is all straight-driving, I don't think it's fair to count the drive as downtime. I hate driving home after work. It is extremely stressful to me. The other drivers are rude, the roads are packed and dangerous, ugh. I would need downtime MORE if I had a long commute.

[the_lissa]

I think it depends on whether the person is someone who enjoys their commute or not. You can't make a blanket statement either way.

[riaketty]

DH is awesome. Once I asked him if he needed 'downtime' and he gave me this insane look and said "What? No... Why?"

So, as soon as he walks in the door, he pulls off his shoes and work shirt and tackles the kiddos. Half the time DD runs out to meet him as he's coming out of the car!

[Sharlla]

I don't consider a commute a break, I HATED commuting, it was the worst part of my day.