I live in Michigan, though not up dere in da north...
I don't know about up there, but I DO know that down here there are not state staff to check up on people and monitor whether they are advertising themselves as childcare. Is there a local paper with a job section? I would suggest advertizing in there to look for kids, and if there is a nanny agency near you, hooking up with them (yes, you'll have to pay the $25 for a local police clearance and fingerprints, but otherwise, the PARENTS pay the agency to find you).
There are families out there (at least in the bigger cities) looking for nannies, and they dont care if you're bringing your own kids, as long as you take good care of THEIR kids, too. It will probably include housework, laundry, etc, but I got paid REALLY R-E-A-L-L-Y well as a nanny after a few years, and when you do a good job, the families fight over you...they beg you to bring your kids, because a good nanny is a commodity.
I
would suggest moving closer to family, where you can have help with life in general when your husband is out of town. PLUS there are several food pantries around here that do not ask for proof of income. Also, in the Detroit area, there are several clothes swaps twice a year, where you get clothes for FREE, as many as you need, and they are great clothes. I organize one, and haven't paid for my kids clothes since my son was six months old, except for socks and underware (but often they get those from grandparents for christmas and easter...not much fun, but it saves us the money!). Too, there are other ways to save near larger cities...for instance we belong to a farm co-op. We pay $500 a year and get the majority of our produce. What we don't eat (about half) I put up (either canning or freezing). We also have access to local farmers and buy our meat in bulk, which saves us several hundreds of dollars a year.
How about going to the grocery store and getting stuff like salad in clamshells for lunches? They would keep in a cooler a few days at a time. Nuts, seeds, even chicken breast would work for a protein...you can get bagged precooked tyson chicken breast and keep it in a cooler for a few days at a time. We eat instant oatmeal when we're on the road. He could get a coffee and a hot water at the truck stop, and use the hot water for the oatmeal. That just leaves dinners.
Do you sew? Could you, if you moved closer to family, do post partum doula work? They make $25 an hour around here. You have kids and know how to care for them, and have been post partum...so probably have the skills necessary to do the work!
They are pretty in demand around here...and if you were around family to help with your kids a few days a week, could make good money on your own schedule.
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