Advice from conservative Christians for my mom

[~Megan~]

My mom attends a conservative Bible Belt church and has all her life so I need someone with her perspective to help me help her please.

The gist of of it is that her ex husband (my step dad) and she divorced not quite a year ago. He was an is an under medicated person with bipolar and is very mean. His relationships with family are all based on control and threatening behavior (he's super nice to friends and strangers though).

My younger sister is a bulemic and struggles with borderline personality disorder. She's very immature and makes irresponsible decisions and is always asking my mom to bail her out.

The youngest is my brother who is leaving for Marine boot camp in 2 months.

Mom has a stressful job (air traffic controller) and lives in a small town.

She keeps saying that she's praying for friends but they just don't come. How do I get it through to her that praying is great but she needs to actually do something to make friends like take a class or join her church's Bible Study group or something? I know that she for sure needs to be seeing her therapist again and probably should go back on her antidepression meds. She always said she's too tired to join any groups or classes. I want to be gentle with her but perhaps if I had some Biblical back up of verses that say something like "God helps those that help themselves" or something it might carry more weight with her.

-signing off she who is tired of being her mother's counselor.

[Bluegoat]

This is a really difficult situation, because your mom's lack of action may have more to do with her depression than it really does with any religious ideas. Does she attend church? Perhaps her minister could be helpful in this area, if he told her that one of her jobs as a Christian is to take care of the body and mind that God gave her. We only have them on loan, so they need to be returned in good condition.

Friends can be really hard to make as an adult, even in a healthy person. Getting involved in her own health care and her community might be the best first step.

Some kind of support for those who depend on her might be a big help too, so she can take a break.

[AngelBee]

:

[PaigeC]

Here is a good old story for her:

There's a story of a man who was at his house when heavy rains poured down, the river crested, and the town flooded. As he stood on his front porch, the neighborhood completely under water, two men came by in a rowboat. "Can we take you to safety?" one called out.

The man shook his head. "No, thank you. I have faith in the Lord and He will save me."

A little later, the waters had risen and the man was on the roof of his porch when several folks happened along in a motorboat. "Say, there, would you like to come with us?" one of them called.

"No, thank you," the man replied. "I have faith in the Lord, and He will save me."

The waters continued to rise with alarming speed, and the man soon found himself on the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and hovered overhead as the pilot broadcasted, "Let me drop a line and get you out of there."

"No, thank you," the man called back. "I have faith in the Lord, and He will save me."

The man perished in the flood and went to Heaven, where he was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter. Extremely saddened and upset, the man requested to talk to God. His request was granted.

"Heavenly Father," the man cried, "I had faith in you to save me from the flood, and you didn't come through for me!"

Astonished, God replied, "What are you talking about? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

This verse sounds so negative, but the overall point is that hard work is good and brings us good things that we can share:

Ephesians 4:28 (New International Version)

28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need

Acts 20:35 (New International Version)

35In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "

[greenmamato2]

Having grown up in the church, and been a conservative Christian for 27 years I am very familiar with this mindset. I am no longer a Christian, but I think I might still be able to help since it is something I understand.

I would suggest asking her what opportunities God may be presenting her to make new friends that maybe she hasn't noticed until now (a new bible study group at church, volunteering, work events, etc). Ask her how she met some of her friends in the past, to help stir up ideas about what to do now, and also to remind her that it takes effort and doesn't usually fall in your lap. Tell her that there may be someone out there that God has prepared for her to be friends with, but that maybe she needs to be the one to make the first move and say hello or invite them out for coffee. Remind her that her 'new friend' may need her just as much as she needs them, and that getting out of your comfort zone sometimes really can be worth it.

[reneeisorym]

Here is a book suggestion .. written by a conservative Christian and is Biblical.

Just Do Something: How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc.
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Someth...3395241&sr=8-1