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A Couple Bad Weeks-Update#17-Need Thoughts Please - Page 2

post #21 of 36
Lice shampoo is toxic worthless crap you can get some suave coconut shampoo and conditioner and keep her coated with the conditioner and her hair braided or wrapped. You can throw all her bedding and stuff in the dryer and bag up her stuff when she leaves. I would not worry at all about a short sparce haired baby getting lice but if I were you I would wash with the coconut shampoo and use the conditioner.
post #22 of 36
We had this problem with my DD and the lice lasted over a month. What finally did it (after all 5 doses of Rid and mayo and olive oil and . . . ) was Tea Tree Oil shampoo. It worked wonders!!

There is a brand called Desert Essence (I think) that has a shampoo and conditioner for "Problems."

In addition, a friend of mine couldn't find the shampoo, so she got regular shampoo and added a thimble-full of pure tea tree oil. That worked really well.

I also used the tea tree oil shampoo and never was infested. I hope that can help you.
post #23 of 36
Thread Starter 
Thanks! DSD's Mom claims she has turned their house upside down cleaning.


I did read about tea tree oil and was considering checking out the nature store I go to to see if they have a special shampoo with it.

And actually my baby isn't sparse haired. lol Tis why I worry about her. Her hair is as long as some toddlers; we can put bows and clips in it easily.


We only have DSD 4 days/month... so it really stinks that our only time to see her will be spent cleaning and laundrying again because of the lice. I wish her Mom would find the source and nip this thing in the bud.
post #24 of 36
Tea Tree oil works as a deterrent as well. So if you add 10-12 drops to your regular shampoo, and your DSD uses it at your house, it will help keep the lice from choosing your DSD next time.
post #25 of 36
I have also found the lice products sold at stores to be worthless.

When dd got lice over a year ago, I got a recipe for natural stuff that actually worked. Also, I found that a cheap metal flea comb ($2) worked better than the plastic lice combs.

Here is the recipe:

For the base, use coconut, olive or mineral oil-a little more than enough to cover dsd's hair. (I used mineral oil (pharmacy) because the coconut was pricey, but if money isn't a factor, coconut is better...)

2tbs each of:
Tea trea oil (in vitamin section)
Peppermint extract (baking section)
Anise extract (baking section)
1tsp of cinnamon
Mix together and cover hair a little thicker than you would with shampoo.
Cover with shower cap, a pair of undies work in a pinch
Leave on for an hour and then wash and condition with either Coconut or Tea Tree oil shampoo/conditioner.

To loosen nits, you can spray hair with vinegar.
post #26 of 36
Sorry if this is redundant (I don't have time to read all the other responses), but you almost certainly have the right to take your ste-daughter to the doctor. Check your state law online, if you're really concerned, but in most states, family law is pretty clear that both parents - regardless of custodial status - have the right to full access to all the child's medical records; the right to seek medical treatment for the child when the child is with them; and the right to have a copy of the child's insurance card and a copy of the document detailing what's covered. Lice happens. Sorry! But I would be quite concerned about a child missing school once a week for anything, especially stomach issues. It could be a parasite, or it could also be psychological. You should find out.
post #27 of 36
Thread Starter 
UGH!!! :

DSD showed up Friday still with nits in her hair!!!

When is this going to end? And now DSD's Mom is blaming me for not washing all her clothes properly or something and that she must be getting them at our house. HOW when she shows up here with them??? And she is only here EOW! And no one in our house has them??
post #28 of 36
I love how it is your fault and not your DH's fault.

She has twelve days to get rid of them. You guys have two. This is ridiculous. I'm pretty surprised that no one else at either house has gotten them. Then again, since you guys seem to be the only ones able to find them, it is probably entirely possible that everyone at her mom's house has them and they just can't see them. Or are not checking.
post #29 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSMa View Post
It is hard. And to get any rights what so ever for Dad is a fight. It's pretty ridiculous.


So interesting... I called DSD's school just on a hunch to follow up with the lice issue... they said DSD is the first reported case that they never sent a notice home last week like DSD's Mom claimed. Why is she lying? And if she is lying about that, what else is she lying about? kwim?
the school should know who her doctor is. they have to have that info when signing up. your dh (the bio dad) has all the right to ask the school those questions. if they got a divorce then his rights are covered. esp if they have 50/50 custody. call the school and ask who the doc listed is. then call the doc and have dh voice his concerns about lice and the diarrhea to the docs office. some places are open on sat. ask.
post #30 of 36
Sorry you guys are dealing with this. Lice is just so gross. We had a similar problem with lice when we were kids, except it was going the opposite way. We caught lice when there was a huge out break at school, and not knowing it, went to my dad's for the weekend. My mom figured it out when we came back from the weekend, but our bedding at my dad's had already been infested. Of course, my mom told him and he and my stepmom said they cleaned the house. Which, I think they did - just not to the standards required to get rid of lice (their house wasn't dirty, just that they didn't wash the bedding in hot enough temp). We would get re-infested every other weekend. It was a huge fight, but my mom was required to send us. It got to the point where we would come home from my dad's, my mom would undress us in the back yard and take us straight to the bathroom and do lice treatments. It was awful.

I would keep in touch with the school about this. They don't want ongoing lice problems, either. Maybe they can work with the mom to get it dealt with. This may seem drastic, but when I taught public school, we called the public health department a couple of times when families wouldn't get the lice cleaned up. They would send a nurse out to the home and help the family deal with it.
post #31 of 36
Here dept. of child support requires us to give copies of insurance cards to other parent so both/either parents can take child. Can't you take her without card? Sometimes I forget the card. Are you the resposible party?
post #32 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
1st...most lice shampoos don't work very well. It's entirely possible that you didn't fully get rid of it. I've seen the bugs swim in the shampoo and not die. They've become immune to the stuff.

2nd...don't mess with the schedule. Just have her walk straight into the bathroom when she comes in the door, without sitting down or touching anything. Have DH treat her for lice while you put every thing that came in the door with her into the washer (even the clothes that are supposed to be allready clean will need to be rewashed and dried). Then go straight out to your car and treat her carseat (this is a common reinfection cause). Do this for every visit until the lice are no longer a problem.

3rd...request her school and medical records. If that doesn't work you can send a certified letter to her requesting insurance information. IF that doesn't work, then ask the attorney to get the info for you.
I agree with all of this. Lice can be REALLY hard to get rid of. It is likely that the shampoo didn't kill them and that the house still has them.
post #33 of 36
Thread Starter 
DH has asked for the cards again and ex said she'd get copies made.... but she still hasn't, of course. We do know who her doctor is. I don't know if they do weekend appointments or not, but it's quite a hike from our house.

I'm surprised about the lice shampoo not working for some. We had to deal with it twice when I was a kid and my used the stuff once and we were good to go. We never had really bad infestation though, nothing at all like I saw on DSD's head.
post #34 of 36
As far as I know, you don't have to go to the doctor for lice treatments, but as I've said before, I think it's pretty important that somebody figure out your step-daughter's tummy/bowel issues, and it sounds like her mom may be more concerned about not getting blamed than about solving the problem.(?) All kinds of things can cause frequent diarrhea, but some of them are serious and, if left untreated, can lead to malnutrition and lingering problems.

You don't have to take her to the same doc her mom does (1-1/2 hours away, right?). Here, all of our hospitals have associated walk-in clinics (to keep people with non-emergency symptoms from clogging up the ERs). "MedCheck" is a common one. (I don't know whether that term is nation-wide or local.)
- Places like that are open on weekends.
- They take insurance, if you get her card. If not, some of them will bill you, in which case you put Mom's name and address as the responsible party and they'll send the bill to her. Then she can either get the bill to her insurance company, or blow it off the way she's blown off getting you guys a copy of the insurance card, and the clinic will demand payment from her (which might motivate her to finally get you guys a copy of that card!)
- If your walk-in clinic doesn't bill, their fees are typically less than what private doctors charge, if you don't have insurance - and your husband would still be eligible for reimbursement of that fee by his ex's insurance company.

If Mom will simply tell you guys the name of her insurance company, then your husband is entitled to contact them himself, for a copy of his daughter's card.

My husband's ex lied about providing insurance for my step-son, because claiming that expense increased the amount of child support my husband paid. What tipped him off was her perpetual procrastination about providing a copy of his insurance card and her adamant stance (in spite of our laws) that my husband, as the "non-custodial" parent, wasn't "authorized" to seek any medical care for their son. If that's what's going on in your case, and if mom is letting your step-daughter's stomach issues go untreated because she can't afford medical care, there needs to be some intervention. Maybe Mom (or you guys) would qualify for subsidized healthcare for kids, if that's needed. Maybe you need to get the court involved. But the questions about your step-daughter's health and coverage shouldn't go unanswered indefinitely.
post #35 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSMa View Post
DH has asked for the cards again and ex said she'd get copies made.... but she still hasn't, of course. We do know who her doctor is. I don't know if they do weekend appointments or not, but it's quite a hike from our house.

I'm surprised about the lice shampoo not working for some. We had to deal with it twice when I was a kid and my used the stuff once and we were good to go. We never had really bad infestation though, nothing at all like I saw on DSD's head.
I saw a news report a few years ago about how the lice medications are no longer working because lice had developed a resistance to it. I don't remember the details, but they also showed lice swimming in the shampoo and living.
post #36 of 36
go to the doctor to get the lice documented. that way it is not your word against hers, you will have a doctor's word too.

can you call the school to find out the insurance info? explain to them you need to take her to the doc and see if they have it. she has to give them that info when she signs them up. daycare, preschool, etc, all has to have that info. the doc's office should have it to.

also i would get the records from the school about how time she has missed and when, and what reason was written down if any.

always document. if in the future there is some issue, you will have everything you need to show you did the right thing. maybe DSD will come to live with you. it is what happened with us. we keot all records of everything we could get our hands on. when DSDs mom finally got caught up in CPS for her stupidity, they gave us the kids. and we got to keep them. and now they are always healthy, clean, fed, and adequately supervised.
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