Well, I took our rent + utilities and groceries and divided it by 4 and we are paying MUCH more than that in CS.
(even though I don't feel rent and utilities should factor into CS as the parent has to provide those regardless)
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Can you compute it with your total monthly spending? Not just categories but the actual dollar amount you spent last month? I think that would be the most convincing number. Your husband probably wants/needs to feel that of all the money he has a say in spending (which includes your paycheck if your finances are blended), 25% of it is spent on his first daughter. I suspect that the numbers may well work out that way, and it might help with the guilt for him to see that in laid out black and white.
In reality, of course, expenses in any family aren't divided this way. At any given time, one member is more expensive to maintain than another member. It just might be a useful starting place for your particular family, and might emphasize to him that you consider dsd to be 1/4 of your family.
Honest to G-d, I think you might have fewer problems if your dsd lived with you full-time. You'd have to adjust to caring for her, but your husband might start behaving a whole heck of a lot better. And there would be no lice.
(even though I don't feel rent and utilities should factor into CS as the parent has to provide those regardless)
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Can you compute it with your total monthly spending? Not just categories but the actual dollar amount you spent last month? I think that would be the most convincing number. Your husband probably wants/needs to feel that of all the money he has a say in spending (which includes your paycheck if your finances are blended), 25% of it is spent on his first daughter. I suspect that the numbers may well work out that way, and it might help with the guilt for him to see that in laid out black and white.
In reality, of course, expenses in any family aren't divided this way. At any given time, one member is more expensive to maintain than another member. It just might be a useful starting place for your particular family, and might emphasize to him that you consider dsd to be 1/4 of your family.
Honest to G-d, I think you might have fewer problems if your dsd lived with you full-time. You'd have to adjust to caring for her, but your husband might start behaving a whole heck of a lot better. And there would be no lice.








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