Originally Posted by BoringTales
I also think its partly a 1st time mom thing.
There are things I did with my 1st that I look back on and roll my eyes at MYSELF for.
Yes, this. I think we all do. The "protect them" instinct that we have is good, but sometimes when it is new we need to learn how to use it only when needed on not against everyone. I am very guilty of this myself - almost 13 years ago now. So much wasted stress and negative energy that I put myself (and my dp and my dd) through. Live and learn.
Originally Posted by Caneel
Jumping back to add - assuming all her intentions are good and there isn't some undisclosed real cause for concern - think about the relationship you would like to have with future grandchildren. Someday you may be walking in her shoes.
This is another great point. When it is us with our grandbabies, I hope we welcome new info (like we taught our moms/aunts/grammas that we aren't using baby powder anymore and waiting a bit longer to introduce solid food), but are also given the respect of trusting us with our grandchildren - that we will love and care for them when in our care.
Originally Posted by RunAround
Your son is young, you've only begun your journey as a parent. Most new moms are wound incredibly tight.
Learning to let go and let others build their relationships with your son will come with time, if you give those relationships room to grow.
We should probably give those "selfish grandmas" a bit more understanding. One day, if you're lucky
, you might be one, too.
Yes, yes. Wound tight doesn't begin to describe how I was as a new first time mom. I do remember it. I wish I hadn't been, but we all go through it.
When dd1 was a baby, everything my MIL did seemed to set me off. Dp once pointed out to me that my best friend's mom (who is the most wonderful adoptive gramma any kid ever had!) could do no wrong. If she did the EXACT same thing that my MIL did, I'd be fine with her doing it and furious at my MIL. It was true. MIL wasn't a bad person; we just had a lot of differences of opinion, and just weren't bonded the way I am with my best friend's mom. It has a lot to do with the relationship YOU have with the person as to how you feel about their actions with your child.
I lost my parents when I was 12 and 14. I have raised my kids specifically to have close relationships with as many loving adults as I can - it is a detriment and risk to them to only trust me and their dad. We may not always be here. My brother was only six by the time both our parents had passed away. And even with my tightly wound opinions, I - from an hour after birth - was happy to have other people hold her.