Originally Posted by princessjasmine
Ok, I am going to take a break from obsessively checking this post. I think what I am going to do is talk to my husband this evening, explain that I love and trust him and am not accusing him of anything, explain what issues (my family upbringing and sexual experiences, social norms, etc.) are contributing to my discomfort, and then come up with a list of possible solutions, including everything suggested here and work together to find something that works for both of us. Thank you everyone for your input, I am feeling much better about the whole situation in general. I am confident we will be able to work things out.
Hi, princessjasmine. That sounds like a good plan. I dare say some of the previous posts seemed to miss the point (e.g., debating the whys and why nots of erections).
What I got from your original post is that you felt really uncomfortable with the situation and further uncomfortable that your husband wasn't respecting your discomfort. That makes perfect sense. The MDC boards are full of moms who use variations on the family bed (e.g., co-sleeper side car) because their partners are uncomfortable with having the baby in the bed, for any number of reasons. As the Dr. Sears books emphasize, the sleeping arrangement has to work for everyone
, otherwise, you need to find a compromise.
You don't need to apologize for feeling uncomfortable. And he doesn't need to apologize for sleeping naked up until now. However, I'd say that the feelings that the situation stirs up for you amount to a far greater discomfort than your husband would experience by just wearing some pajama bottoms to bed.
You are right to be concerned for how your daughter will feel about this down the line. Of course your husband means her no harm, but why take the risk of her growing up with any kind of confusion of this sort?