It was awful. I am so happy to be home.
When we got there we unloaded everyone from the car and walked to the house. I needed to feed and change the baby so I just carried him. Not exaggerating at all...I did not even have both feet in the door and MIL took the baby from me. He immediately started crying I think from a mixture of being handled roughly and because he was hungry and had been taken from the food!
I was torn here because I wanted to grab my baby, but there was get this- a freaking dead cow on the front deck and my 2.5 yo (DS2) is squatted down petting it
I scooped him up and ran him to the kitchen to scrub his hands. My FIL walks in and DS2 tells him about the moo on the porch. FIL says, "Is that still out there? Go skin him and we'll eat him for supper!" then he looks at me and says, "Did ya here the one about the lesbians?"
Also during this time DD tells MIL that her ear hurts so she gave her some tylenol. After she took it I went to put away the bottle and noticed that it expired in 1995!
That night we went to DH's aunt's house for dinner and it was about a 45 minutes drive. It was 7:30 when we got there. My older kids usually go to bed at 8 and my younger two about 7:30. At this point the baby has been awake for over three hours. I had him in a ring sling and someone made a comment that he can't breathe. This freaked out DS2 who was yelling at me to get the baby out of the bag!
I figured it would be fine just to carry him, but that immediately started the baby passing again. It was so loud there and SO many people. The baby was exhausted and so overstimulated. I tried to find a quiet place to just cuddle and calm him, but it was not working. People would come in and offer suggestions such as, "Maybe he's sh&%$ing his pants" or get in his face and loudly ask, "Aren't you happy to see uncle so and so?" We left a little before 10 and the baby screamed for the first twenty minutes. I broke down after the first five and cried with him. I felt like a horrible mother for not keeping him feeling secure and for being polite instead of meeting his needs. I had the Harvard CIO study going through my head over and over. At one point he stopped crying for a few seconds and it was almost worse because it was like he was giving up that no one was going to help him. I finally yelled at my DH to pull over and I nursed him and cried.
We got back at 11 and baby has now been awake for over 6 hours and MIL takes him from me again. I said I need to feed him and go to bed and she gave him back a minute or two later. He slept through the night, but it made me so sad that he was sleeping so long because he was traumatized.
The next day was actually pretty good. I put the baby in the sling and spent the day hiking aound the ranch will my kids. We played with horses, cows, and sheep and collected eggs. Most of the family was gone all the way till the evening so it was calm and quiet. DH's grandmother came over and held the baby. She is very kind and we enjoyed visiting with her. She recommended we read scriptures to him everyday as a baby before he is old enough to be defiant
That night FIL came storming in the house swearing and looking for a gun because there were dogs in his sheep. I gathered my kids into the room DH and I were sharing with our little guys and put on a movie. We watched Kung Fu Panda four times before he settled down around midnight. Then at 4AM, DS1, me, and the baby were woke up by FIL screaming and physically fighting with two BILs. They were yelling, things were breaking, dogs going crazy...it was disgusting
So everyone is totally exhausted on sunday morning and I was trying to get the baby to take a nap and get dressed for church at the same time. I needed to put on some nylons and DH was helping DS2 so MIL held him. He started crying a cry I have never heard from him the second I let go. I reached to get him back and she shook her head and turned to walk away from me!
This time I said "I'm sorry but I will not let him cry" and I shut myself in a bedroom. I was so upset I felt like I couldn't breathe for the next 10 minutes
MIL did this to SIL (oldest BIL's wife) and their 3 yo DS too. She said "Come see nana!" and when he said no, she grabbed him from SIL's arms and RAN out of the room with him screaming MAMA and reaching out for her. A few minutes later he came running back to his mom and we then heard him described as a brat, a little s**t and a cry baby.
I held my baby all through church and had him in the sling the rest of the time untill we went home. I was so so grateful to be back.
I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent to people who will understand. I feel so alone when we are there. My DH totally shuts down as soon as we pull in, and I don't blame him, his childhood was so horrific. Him and his brothers sit and reminesce (sp?) about it and it is so awful. This time I heard about how FIL killed their puppy in front of them because they weren't taking care of it well enough. My DH was 5 at the time and he didn't do it in a quick way :Puke I also heard about one time when some of the boys were mending fences and they lost a tool. They had two minute intervals to find it and every two minutes that went by without it being found, they were beat with a driving whip
Why did these people have children??? My husband did say that we are not staying there again so at least that was gained...
Thanks for listening. Even though I don't know you all, I missed you when we were there.