or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Natural Living › Family Safety › How to get a young child to follow this rule:
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How to get a young child to follow this rule: - Page 2

post #21 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironica View Post
Hm... what about an oven lock? Like this: http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/...mSource=Search

There's various types. Also search for refrigerator lock or appliance lock.
I've used several appliance locks and they can both operate those locks. So I placed them up high and they used various household items to climb on to reach the locks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironica
You explain to Abigail (who is almost four, right?) that Mommy needs to keep her safe, and that means keeping her in the house when Mommy can't come outside with her. Since she can't follow that rule on her own, whenever Mommy needs to do something like go to the bathroom, Abigail puts on the harness, and Mommy keeps hold of her.
Abigail doesn't do this anymore, Sophia does. She's 2.5 and we've had plenty of talks on the subject. I do like the harness idea. I have one and I can definitely attach it to her every time I need to use the bathroom and have her come with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironica
It will probably only take a week or two of doing this before she says she's ready to not need the harness anymore... but have the talk about how if she tries to go AWOL again, then you'll keep doing the harness until YOU think she's ready to go without it.
I hope so, she's quite persistent! I will let you know how it works. Thanks

ETA: I just realized I have no idea where the harness is. I'll have to look for it tomorrow.
post #22 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~ View Post
If it's not one thing making me worry, it's another. I hadn't even though of the possibility of a fire and having lost the key! And we live in a mobile home, so fire is a fear I have. I *could* break a window, but I just don't even like to think about such things because fire is a huge fear of mine.
I don't think you want to be in a position of having to break windows and pass little kids through them in a fire (or other emergency, if you needed to get out). I hope you find a solution.
post #23 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~ View Post
Abigail doesn't do this anymore, Sophia does.
Ah... you'd said abigail previously. Sorry for the mixup.

May take more time for her to learn this then.

Also, see if you can take them outside more often. Even just to run around near the house. She's trying to meet a need by going outside. Either the need is "Get mommy's attention at all costs!" or it's "Get outside and play!" If you're in a really small space she may just be getting a little restless. When we were in a two-bedroom apt. with DS1, we used to sometimes just go and climb up and down the stairwell... he was somewhat younger when this was AWESOME, but it worked. Later we'd just go play catch in the central courtyard. I'd try to get him to the park several times a week, but we'd get outside several hours every day, between errands and just recreation. Also, we walked or took the bus everywhere, so going outside didn't mean getting in the car.
post #24 of 45
Since we rent we cannot make any permanent changes to the unit, so we got one of those sticky latches for our sliding glass door and put it up high.
post #25 of 45
I live in a trialer also- and childproofing can be an obsticle for some reason. I think it's the materials used in the constuction of the home.

That said- I would NOT leave Sophia alone. Period. I have a houdini also, and it's nerve wracking! Always escaping! I don't allow my youngest to be outside the bathroom if I'm in it. Where ever I go, he goes. Untill he can understand that the door is not for him- he stays with me. I don't allow him to open it when we are going outside- I make it a Mommy Only task.

I would get a new lock for your door- regardless of what else you do. Also buy an adhesive hook and stick it next to the door with the key on it- up high enough that it can't be reached by little hands. You can't risk LO leaving the home and getting injured....
post #26 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironica View Post
Also, see if you can take them outside more often. Even just to run around near the house. She's trying to meet a need by going outside. Either the need is "Get mommy's attention at all costs!" or it's "Get outside and play!" If you're in a really small space she may just be getting a little restless.
Yeah, I'm sure she's restless. Winter here lasts way too long. The roads are seriously unsafe for walking, even to get to a bus stop, and there I really have no destination during the winter. There is a nearby park, but it's wet and icy and cold still. She tends to get out of the door more when the dog is outside. I have a retractable leash I hook my dog to which allows her to go 26 feet from our front door to go potty unattended. I have the handle attached to a hook inside the front door. There is an outside and an inside porch, so there are two doors. The dog is attached to the outside one with the inside door closed. If the dog whines or barks at anything, Sophia is off to let her in, then is distracted by the rocks under our carport since the snow under there has recently melted. I searched all morning for that harness. When I wasn't looking for it, it seemed it was everywhere, in the living room, in the toy bin, hanging from their coat hooks (we have no front closet), on the floor, in the bedroom. Today, it's nowhere to be round.

Hopefully it'll be safe to walk around outside again. The roads in our trailer park are not plowed regularly and there are no sidewalks.
post #27 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by yarngoddess View Post

That said- I would NOT leave Sophia alone. Period. I have a houdini also, and it's nerve wracking! Always escaping! I don't allow my youngest to be outside the bathroom if I'm in it. Where ever I go, he goes. Untill he can understand that the door is not for him- he stays with me. I don't allow him to open it when we are going outside- I make it a Mommy Only task.
I'm going to have to find that harness or make a new one out of my pet's equipment. Our bathroom has a washer/dryer in it, so when I'm sitting on the toilet, the bathroom door is about 6 feet from me. I sure appreciate all the tips here. I know with all the help you've all provided me, I'll be able to find a way that keeps Fia safe.
post #28 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastyToes View Post
My parents had a lock that was keyed on both sides. We left a key in the lock and never, I mean never, removed that key. I'm not sure they even sell these much anymore. I would say avoid this and go for one of the other types of solutions offered.
They do still sell them. Because for anyone with glass insets on or near the door they are a requirement. We have a double dead-bolt on our front door for that exact reason - otherwise someone could just break out the window, reach in and open the door.

In case of fire, you shouldn't be relying on the ability to make it to the front door, regardless. If the fire is between the bedrooms and the front door, there's no way you'd get there in the middle of the night.
post #29 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccajo View Post
I put a lock at the top of the door.
That, and put the fear of death into them when they attemp it. And I'm only kidding a little bit.
post #30 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
.....and put the fear of death into them when they attempt it. And I'm only kidding a little bit.
Every single time. Apparently I'm not scary enough. I have told her she cannot go outside without Mommy. I've warned her of dangers of being outside without Mommy. I've told her she needs me with her to keep her safe:
from moving cars,
dangerous people (there are 2 registered child sex offenders living in our neighborhood),
unfriendly loose dogs,
angry people including children and adults, men and women (random acts of violence among neighbors acting stupid that I've witnessed just a couple houses down),
falling on the sharp rocks, etc.

I don't give her the whole list every single time, but at least two of those are mentioned each time. Abigail overhears me talk to Sophia and will tell Sophia to wait for Mommy so no bad men will get her (not even words I've used, but apparently how Abigail has interpreted what I said).

I tell her it is NOT OK for her to EVER open the front door by herself. I tell her only Mommy or Daddy can open the door. I tell her she CAN NOT go outside by herself. I tell her she can only go outside with Mommy or Daddy.

I've been giving her these lectures for several months now and I'm hoping they'll eventually sink in. I'm constantly on edge, worrying she has escaped. Such as when I go in the bathroom to fold laundry and she's in the living room playing with toys, I tell them to come with me to help and if they try to leave the bathroom before I'm done, I drop the laundry on the floor to follow them or bring them back. Or if they wake before I do. One morning, before putting on my glasses, I stumble sleepily to the bathroom for my morning pee, Sophia comes along. I glanced down the hall toward the computer and see what I 'think' is Abigail sitting on the chair playing on the computer. (the past week she's been getting on it herself in the morning to play uptoten and starfall..... she even knows how to open a browser window and select the folder on my toolbar that has the list of bookmarks for kid sites). I came out of bathroom, went in living room and found the chair empty an panicked thinking somehow Abigail got out of the house, even though this is more a problem with Sophia. I look out the window, I go down the hall calling out her name, I look in the bathroom, then back in the bedroom to discover she's still sleeping in bed. I had just imagined I'd seen her, in my sleepy, glassless state. This is obviously stressing me out.

No problems so far today, and I still cannot find that harness.
post #31 of 45
Well, by "the fear of death", I really mean do mean fear. A couple of the suggestions here to gently explain the dangers aren't really what I'm talking about. I don't think they'll "get" a gentle explanation of the dangers as much as they'll get your reaction to them being in danger.

Ironically, DD did this very thing this morning. Today is the first time in her life (she's 3) that she's attempted to walk out the front door without me. This is exactly how I reacted, to which her little eyes welled up with tears, and she ran up to me and threw her arms around my waist and said "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy, I won't go without you". She was really scared because I was scared. She thought she was in danger. And realistically, she was. If I hadn't have caught her going out, I shudder to think what could have happened (we live on a busy street, both neighbors have big loose dogs, etc).

I know fear isn't a popular motivator around here, but when it comes to safety I'm all about it. Especially in that age bracket where explaining potential dangers is going way over their head.

All day long every time I went outside or opened the front door, my daughter warned me to watch out for the dogs or be careful of cars. She saw my fear of the potential dangers. She experienced it. She sort of gets it now. I don't think she would have got it had I just tried to gently explain it, you know?

As she gets older she'll grow into the conversations based on reasoning, but for now, she's sees the fear associated with the dangers, and that's Ok with me if it keeps her safe.

ETA: I put a spare gate across the door for today incase she tried to attempt it again. One more obsticle to climb over before I catch her. Tomorrow we'll put some sort of a chain or latch up high. We'll see what Home Depot has that will work on our door.
post #32 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
I know fear isn't a popular motivator around here, but when it comes to safety I'm all about it. Especially in that age bracket where explaining potential dangers is going way over their head. .
What did you do to make her fear it? Unfortunately for me, Sophia is a Leo through and through and excitement and even yelling entertain her love of drama. i don't think I could scare her if I wanted to.
post #33 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
ETA: I put a spare gate across the door for today incase she tried to attempt it again. One more obsticle to climb over before I catch her. Tomorrow we'll put some sort of a chain or latch up high. We'll see what Home Depot has that will work on our door.
hehe, they dismantled the baby gates before they could walk, which for both of them, was at the age of 10 months, so before 10 months old, they had climbed over, broken, taken apart, moved, played with the 4 different types of gates that I'd used up to that point including the metal, extra tall, double locking top and bottom with only vertical bars gate my mom bought for her house.

Mechanically inclined super houdinis is an under statement for my problem solvers. And it only takes them seconds. Not minutes, seconds, to figure these things out.
post #34 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~ View Post
What did you do to make her fear it? Unfortunately for me, Sophia is a Leo through and through and excitement and even yelling entertain her love of drama. i don't think I could scare her if I wanted to.
Just my reaction, I guess. The same thing happened when she found a snake in the backyard. And being in South Florida, and at the time across the street from a canal (home of the deadly water moccasin) I FLIPPED OUT. A healthy fear of deadly snakes and wandering out into traffic is A-OK with me.

Have you ever had a knee jerk reaction to someone walking into something, or stepping on something, or touching something hot, or anything like that? Your voice is usually raised, and it's usually a loud warning with lots of alarming body language? Well, do that. Times a million.

I remember one time while camping a friend was being silly and I thought he was going to topple over backward into the fire. I was in the process of putting a marshmallow onto a stick and I literally dropped all of it, jumped out my seat, put my arms out, and shouted "WATCH OUT" as I pushed him. He swears to this day he wasn't about to fall, but that my reaction scared the crap out of him more than the fire. We both sat there for a minute in shock - me because I thought he almost fell into the fire, and him because I moved so quick and shoved him, he says, "like 15 feet into the air" ( .. dork LOL) with a crazy look on my face.

Even as adults he'd tease me by walking up to the fire pit holding his hands up going "it's Ok, I SEE the fire, don't tackle me".
post #35 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
We both sat there for a minute in shock - me because I thought he almost fell into the fire, and him because I moved so quick and shoved him, he says, "like 15 feet into the air" ( .. dork LOL) with a crazy look on my face.

Even as adults he'd tease me by walking up to the fire pit holding his hands up going "it's Ok, I SEE the fire, don't tackle me".
: dork
post #36 of 45
We LOVE Jonh Walsh's Safe Side dvd and cd! There is a song called "dont open the door" Check it out. Maybe they will feel empowered- like big kids who can do the right thing...the dvd is great for this, not scary but teaching kids to "stay on the safe side" https://www.thesafeside.com/Store/Default.asp Make sure you get the dvd AND cd- very catchy songs about staying safe. hth
post #37 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lberk View Post
We LOVE Jonh Walsh's Safe Side dvd and cd! There is a song called "dont open the door" Check it out. Maybe they will feel empowered- like big kids who can do the right thing...the dvd is great for this, not scary but teaching kids to "stay on the safe side" https://www.thesafeside.com/Store/Default.asp Make sure you get the dvd AND cd- very catchy songs about staying safe. hth

The website says it's for kids 5-8 so I wonder if it's not interesting for my 2.5 year old. She does love songs, though. I do like the idea of incorporating it into a song for her.

Hmm, I listened to the example of the songs and I can't hardly understand the lyrics, so i doubt Sophia would. Maybe I'll make up a song for her myself.
post #38 of 45
From the time my little brother was 3 until 10 (not needed at 10, there was just some inertia) the way you opened the front door on the inside was to stick a spoon handle in the hole where the door knob was removed.
post #39 of 45
i was like that as a child leo when i was 2 and beyond. id drag the high chair and climb up the fridge to get the cookies. id go outside, pass the gates, and jump in the pool and swim out even though i wasnt taught to swim. my parents could fool me on absolutely nothing. i was probably 3 years old when theyd put me in the car at night to drive me around so id fall asleep - theyd tell me we are going to an aunt's house; id recognize and say "this isnt the way to her house".

i think theres just nothing you can do with us leos. that's why i wanted to make sure i didnt have a leo myself! :sheepish:

good luck!
post #40 of 45
I'd never thought of having to do this until DD1 was one yo and playing in the living room while I was in the bedroom putting clothes away. I heard her crying and came to find her standing on the front porch (it was summer and the wood was hot on her feet). If that hadn't been the case--the wood hot enough to stop her in her tracks--I don't know what would've happened.

I have found that (in our house) if the big wooden front door is closed (instead of just the glass storm door) my girl won't try to leave. Amazing. If I'm in a different part of the house or putting the baby down, though, I lock it (she doesn't know how to unlock). Better safe than sorry.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Family Safety
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Natural Living › Family Safety › How to get a young child to follow this rule: