Who was present at the birth? - Page 2

[vegasgrl]

You guys are so wonderful, thank you for all of the replies. I spoke with my aunt last night and we put together a sort of plan. When my water breaks, my aunt and my mom are going to hop the first plane to Las Vegas. Since this is my first, it's possible they'll actually get here on time. But just in case, I'm going to have a back-up. (Although, hearing that I *could* do it alone makes me think I kind of want to!)

Originally the back-up was going to be my good friend, but after your suggestions I started looking into a doula. Sadly, there are very few to choose from in Nevada, but that doesn't mean I won't click with any of them. I'm going to look into this this summer and start interviewing.

It doesn't seem nearly as sad and depressing now - thanks for sharing!

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by vegasgrl

You guys are so wonderful, thank you for all of the replies. I spoke with my aunt last night and we put together a sort of plan. When my water breaks, my aunt and my mom are going to hop the first plane to Las Vegas. Since this is my first, it's possible they'll actually get here on time. But just in case, I'm going to have a back-up. (Although, hearing that I *could* do it alone makes me think I kind of want to!)

Originally the back-up was going to be my good friend, but after your suggestions I started looking into a doula. Sadly, there are very few to choose from in Nevada, but that doesn't mean I won't click with any of them. I'm going to look into this this summer and start interviewing.

It doesn't seem nearly as sad and depressing now - thanks for sharing!

Glad you have a plan, but fyi... many women's waters don't break until the pushing phase, which, obviously will be too late to hop on a plane. It's only like 15% of natural labors that start with a rupture of membranes...


Check out the tribe section for your area and ask about doulas. I'm sure they'll be able to help you

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

Glad you have a plan, but fyi... many women's waters don't break until the pushing phase, which, obviously will be too late to hop on a plane. It's only like 15% of natural labors that start with a rupture of membranes...


Check out the tribe section for your area and ask about doulas. I'm sure they'll be able to help you

: my water didnt break at all, the dr had to do it because the bag of water was bulging out before the baby.... so you might want another thing to go by... maybe when you are having regular contractions for a couple hours?

[*MamaJen*]

That sounds like a good plan. What kind of birth are you planning, anyway? I almost always recommend midwife assisted homebirths for low risk pregnancies. I would say that doulas are essential for hospital births, and nice to have for homebirths.
In your situation, if I could have one or the other, I'd be more inclined to get a post-partum doula. They sort of take care of you, keep the house clean, help out with the baby, that kinds of thing in the first few days after the birth. You don't really want to walk around a lot the first week, so it's good to have someone to take care of you.

[hrsmom]

I'm glad you're feeling better! It will all work out, for sure. You have a lot of time still. I was wondering who was going to be at my birth, and then a friend volunteered. I planned on a home birth with a midwife and my friend. I did labor at home for quite some time, my baby was born in the hospital, though.

For sure there are times I wish I had more help with the baby, but for the most part it's been just us. My mom comes over about once a week, and I don't want to minimize how helpful that 3-ish hours a week has been, but that leaves however many hundreds of hours that it's just me! There are definitely some advantages to being the only parent. We have our ups and downs, which is normal, but overall it's really great. I think everyone has up days and down days, regardless of situation!

[eewieew]

no real advice (besides what everyone else has already said) but i CAN commiserate. my h rolled out when i was 12 weeks pregnant, and i went through my pg alone. he initially wanted nothing to do with us but came around a few months in, attended the birth and is now shaping up to be a decent dad who loves his daughter. he wasn't exactly the best support, but he WAS present and active in the birth process, which is mostly what i wanted...so he would bond with the baby.

i honestly had a ton of people that wanted to be there, but i uninvited them all in the end. i'm pretty solitary by nature, and it worked out well for me and my birth....best of luck to you on your journey!

[junebugmidwife]

The local chapter of Attachment Parenting International is *very* active in my area, playgroups, mama's night outs, knitting circles, etc, etc--might be a way to meet some new peeps. And there is also the "Finding Your Tribe" section here at MDC.

Totally agree with a doula. But you also need a community to raise this baby in. When the kid makes her/his arrival, ECFE is a great resource, and also a way to get to know families with babies just your LO's age.

Good luck!

[DogwoodFairy]

Originally Posted by vegasgrl

When my water breaks, my aunt and my mom are going to hop the first plane to Las Vegas. Since this is my first, it's possible they'll actually get here on time. But just in case, I'm going to have a back-up.

I just wanted to reiterate what pp said about your water breaking - very few births start with that...most of the time the membranes are ruptured WAY later in the game, and it happens quite often that they are ruptured artificially by midwife/ob (unless you specify not to).

My onset of labor was loss of mucous plug, then contractions started about 6 hours later...my water never did break, the midwife ruptured them for me (and way too early). By then I was 8cm dilated, and moving fast through transition. I would maybe time things by onset of regular contractions instead.

Good luck, your birth will be fabulous no matter what. And if you're birthing in a hospital, you certainly wont be alone anyhow . My hospital room (in a baby-friendly pro-breastfeeding, co-sleeping hospital) was like Grand Central Station, and I was the only woman in labor that night! I couldnt believe the amount of people cruising through! But for me it was great, because my partner (now my ex) was perfectly useless, and was more maintenence than help. I was glad for the midwife, nurses, etc. Gave me a community of women when I didnt even know I had one .

[homewithtwinsmama]

[QUOTE=Socks for Supper;13524256]I just wanted to reiterate what pp said about your water breaking - very few births start with that...most of the time the membranes are ruptured WAY later in the game, and it happens quite often that they are ruptured artificially by midwife/ob (unless you specify not to).



about 12% - but twice for me

[loveharps]

Hey there

Just read your story and it sounds so similar to mine! My son's 'father' was pissed I wouldn't have an abortion, and I havn't seen him since we had that discussion.

I had my sister with me when I was in labour (a hospital induction). I guess it all depends on your personality, but I liked the fact that I had someone to talk to and keep me company between my contractions. Although, knowing what I know now six years down the track, I'd be having a homebirth for my next baby, but still have the support.
I don't really think I can give too much advice on labour support as the health system in New Zeland is so different. But I can say that it is helpful to have someone around when you get home, someone who can throw on a load of washing and bring you a cup of coffee while your bonding with baby in bed. Labour and new babies can really wipe you out, and its so important to take care of yourself, if only for a few days after. If not, at least make sure you have plenty of meals prepared and frozen or whatever.

And as for whether you can be a single mother - absolutely. Its hard and at times can even totally suck, but its also so amazing, rewarding and fun.

[SunShineSally]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

: my water didnt break at all, the dr had to do it because the bag of water was bulging out before the baby.... so you might want another thing to go by... maybe when you are having regular contractions for a couple hours?

My waters didn't break until Ds came out!!!

I had my mother there and my neighbor (she is like a second mom to me) when I got homw (I live with my mom) she did help a little not to much though her and I have a good understanding that this is my child not hers. She would once ina while while I was nurseing bring me a glass of water but really other than that she didn't do to much. I am actually worried on how to bond with the new baby comeing when I will have my boyfriend there I am not sure how to share a baby with someone and still bond with the baby!

You will do wonderful and the fact that you are concerend about the bonding shows that you are going to bond wonderfully with you little bean!

[onelilguysmommy]

*

[Phantaja]

Forgive me, I stumbled across this thread and thought about it for a minute before I decided to post, but have you considered just coming back to the D for a few weeks around the time that you're due? When I was pregnant last year and we were looking at places in Vegas, my family insisted that I just come home around week 36 and stay with my grandmother until after I had the baby. That way I'd have someone with me while I labored and delivered and help for the first week or so after the baby because I knew no one in Nevada. Maybe your aunt could get you a buddy pass or something.

It was just the first thing that I thought of.

[RockStarMom]

Been there--all you need is a doula!
As for after the birth, I'll be completely honest. It's really flipping hard. And I was living with my parents. I would definitely get some support systems in place beforehand, whether it's relatives staying with you or hiring a PP doula. I know you say you want to get to know your baby without anyone there, but you'll have plenty of alone time in any case.