While you are home on maternity leave...

[2lilsweetfoxes]

DH is a WAHD and I think that he thinks that my maternity leave means Vacation Time. He wants to go running around town and do all the stuff that we don't get to do because dragging along a couple elementary-school age kids, one autistic, is such a hassle. The baby should be very portable, right? Of course right. A couple boobs, a few diapers and wipes and a change of clothes. She's happy. He's forgotten about the fact I still need to physically recover from the birth and thinks that I'll be up for big projects almost immediately. Besides, I'll need to crack the whip and make sure that he stays on task with his work. If he wants to get that book published, then we have stuff we need to do. Besides, we can't afford to go out and spend money every day. And we want to get the baby on a routine to make it easier for him when I return to work. (The biggest part is morning--I'm thinking to wake her at 5 am for a feed and then I leave at 5:30-5:45. Daddy plays with her until about 6:15 then puts her down for a nap after giving her a snack-bottle (about 1-2 oz)and she stays down from about 6:30 until about 8:30 so he can get the older kids up and off to school. Unless the 8 year old matures a bit and can reliably help with the baby.) Maybe have 1 day a week as our going-out as a couple (with the baby in tow) day.

[Murph12334]

geesh - yea you need time to recover after giving birth. I mean it's a big thing you are doing.

[liseux]

I recommend playing it by ear, you may feel good, you may need to rest, but where I live the hb midwives enforce the 2 weeks in bed rule, it does help your mental state immensely to get the rest in the beginning. It can still be a nice time together, there can be many sweet moments outside enjoying spring, close to home.

About the schedule, that may work or it could make you crazy! I'm a firm believer in the truth of the 4th trimester, that babies don't even know they are separate people yet. If he had a good sling like a moby, that's completely hands free ( and they are pretty cheap) it might help him in busy times and he could give a bottle while wearing her & still get the kids out the door.

[inky leeuhhh]

even at the hos they told me to rest 2 weeks. my dh is no help, and stayed home from work today with allergy issues . nothing some sudafed couldnt have fixed. i went to work sick all through my pg. and he is not helping with any household stuff. i am seriously frustrated. we need him to be working, and i need help with simple things like tidying up. i ask him to help and he gets all dramatic. he only works till 2 each day, its not like hes killing himself to support us while im home. sorry turned into a serious rant. just know you arent alone. nak. lol.

[secondimpression]

My DH isn't much different. He has a few weeks of banked sick and vacation time from his work which to him has translated into playing video games for a few weeks and changing a few diapers here and there. He's been sleeping on the sofa since DS and I are up all night nursing and he actually has the nerve to tell me how tired HE is from sleeping on the sofa! Wish I could get 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep right now : He really doesn't get it that in addition to meeting nearly all of DS's needs, I also need to recover physically which sometimes requires making me a sandwich or dragging the laundry basket up or down two flights of steps.

*sigh* I'm sorry to say you aren't alone there

[MaryTheres]

I hear you. My DH is good and has been good but he thinks the three weeks he takes off for the new baby is time for him to do 'projects' and I find that very annoying. Like right now he's been outside for three hours putting mulch down. I had to go out there and get snippy... So annoying, it's not project time ... he took off to help me with Ds1 and the new babay not to do household "projects"