How do I get dd to stop torturing the cats???

[NocturnalDaze]

I was hoping someone could give me some ideas. My dd 23 mos loves our cats but she doesn't realize that grabbing them by the neck or dragging them across the kitchen by their tails is not appreciated.

We tell her to "pet nice" I show her that we should only pet their backs she will then in turn start chasing the cats around the house yelling "nice, nice!!" and try to grab them.

As a result the poor cats spend a lot more time in the bathroom than they would like.

Does anyone have any suggestions for us??

Thanks!!

[Midnightowl]

Can you provide high places where the cats can jump to get out of reach but still be in the room with you? When DS was going through that phase, our cats spent a lot of time upstairs when we were downstairs and vice versa. We have a stack of bankers boxes in the corner of the office that make a good perch, and also make a "step" up to the top of a bookcase. We also let them sit on top of the computer desk. The office was (at that time) gated off, so it was a safe place for the cats to run to.

Your cats must be really mild mannered not to fight back. Unfortunately, DS got several scratches before he learned not to be too rough. Now, he and the cats are best buds. :

[mom2kbeth]

I have no advice for you, but am in the same boat. My 3yo dd is obsessed with our bunnies and wants to let them out of their cage constantly. THis is great - they need their exercise and were basically free-roaming before she was born. BUT she won't let their paws touch the ground. She carries them, puts them in her crib, pushes them in her grocery carriage, etc. She doesn't mean to hurt them; she loves them soooo much that she is always squeezing/holding them. This is getting to be such an issue in our house because she just doesn't respect their need to run around or listen to their "body language" (which she does understand because she will tell us she got bit because Winter wanted to be put down, etc.). So I am very interested in what you receive for advice on this topic because I am pulling my hair out here!

[USAmma]

Do your cats not fight back or try to squirm out of their hands? I just let my dd and the cat work out their differences. I put soft paws (www.softpaws.com) on the cat for awhile because she was scratching dd's face, but that didn't prevent her from batting dd quite a bit and scaring her. Which I felt was okay, dd needed to learn that the cat has boundaries. I did provide a couple places for the cat to escape to that were out of dd's reach. We put a box with a hole cut out of one side on the plant shelf above the kitchen. Perhaps you can put a box on the fridge to serve the same purpose, or at the top of a closet.

Just in the last month dd has been petting the cat nicely and the cat will stick around to be pet. It's great to see things come full circle from a hate-hate relationship to a love-love relationship. The cat even sleeps at the foot of dd's bed now! :-)

Darshani

[NocturnalDaze]

No that cats don't really try to get away. I think that they are just glad to be getting attention fro someone. They used to be our babys until our baby came along

They have scratched her lightly once or twice. But she doesn't seem to mind she just keeps going. I do try to let them work it out quite often but I'm just afraid that she's going to choke the poor things. Oh well I guess if she really hurts them they will let her know...maybe they actually do enjoy it?

[Stacy]

I do not have cats, but I do have 2 yorkies. I asked our pediatrician and she swears that until the age of 4, they can not comprhend to be nice to animals. I know it is not really helpful though, just an insight.

[NocturnalDaze]

No, actually that's really helpful. Guess we just have to have patience...

[BohoMama]

"Like This!"

ds is now 16 months old. Mostly he is very good with our dog, but sometimes hits or kicks him out of exuberance when they are both lying on the bed.

I treat it like this:

"We do not hit/kick the dog [grab at the cat/pull her tail]. We pet him gently, like this." (stroke the animal gently, make the child's hand do the same.) "He is our friend and we love him. Now give him a kiss."

ds readily shows how he can nicely pet and kiss the dog. I think the substitution works better than merely criticizing the inappropriate behavior.

[rachdoll]

I posted a thread practically identical to this in the toddlers forum (forgot about the GD forum, hadn't had to visit until now!).

Our poor cats are so dumb, if they get upset by dd, they move away about 1 foot, so of course she goes after them again. and again. and again. DD know how to 'use one finger' to pet gently, so she uses one finger on her right hand while her left hand is groping for the tail so she can grab and pull.

Good to know that they don't comprehend hurting the animals until ~4. I keep hoping that one of the cats will scratch her just enough to make her realize she needs to calm down, but so far the scratches have been so minor (and all accidents) that she cries for 2 minutes and is back chasing them. With a really evil look on her face.