I'm new @ the boy stuff - how does retracting work?

[writteninkursive]

I hear/see a lot about uncircumcised boys getting their penises retracted when they shouldn't be. And I'm wondering what exactly that means? I have two girls and we are expecting a boy in August. I told DP we better make sure we know what not to do! DP had a botched circ when he was a baby that left tons of scar tissue and not much foreskin actually removed. So he's totally anti-circ too. Works out well. But I feel the need to educate myself on things we need to avoid. So any mamas with intact boys, can you please tell me what NOT to do to my son?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Retraction is the foreskin going back toward the body. Here is a graphic on what it looks like in an adult.

Pictures of the movable foreskin: http://www.noharmm.org/anatomy.htm

Movable foreskin: http://www.geocities.com/painfulques...turalresources

Any movement at all back toward the body is retraction. Many health care workers dont see it that way though so you have to make sure they or no one else pushes the skin back any. There is no need to and it can cause problems while showing them nothing.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by writteninkursive

I hear/see a lot about uncircumcised boys getting their penises retracted when they shouldn't be. And I'm wondering what exactly that means? I have two girls and we are expecting a boy in August. I told DP we better make sure we know what not to do! DP had a botched circ when he was a baby that left tons of scar tissue and not much foreskin actually removed. So he's totally anti-circ too. Works out well. But I feel the need to educate myself on things we need to avoid. So any mamas with intact boys, can you please tell me what NOT to do to my son?

Hey there writteninkursive, welcome to the forum and congratulations on your boy, and what a lucky boy. : So here is the primer. First, lets say intact not uncircumcised it's a subtle difference but one we prefer. Anyway, retraction is when you pull the foreskin back toward the base of the penis; it exposes the glans. The thing is when boys are born, the foreskin is fused to the head like your finger nail and trying to pull it back (retract it) can be excruciatingly painful (this BTW is one of the first steps in circumcision). The end is often too narrow too. As your son grows up the end will widen, and become more elastic and the foreskin will separate itself from the glans. Its a gradual process that can occur anytime from birth to puberty so you may never know when it happens (but he should know it will) or if it happens early enough, everyone will know about it and get to see it [if you're not careful] as it will be his favorite trick.

One thing you have to be on guard for are any care givers who might not know this. It includes doctors and others who might change his diaper. The simple rule is don't retract. Even if he can do it himself at an early age it should only be him doing it. I hope that helps. If needed I am sure we can find you a diagram or something. Welcome to the board.

[writteninkursive]

Okay. I'm already learning! And oh my, that link.... that chart is so confusing for DP. Lol. Thanks ladies!

[Fellow Traveler]

No problem we are only too happy to help. Feel free to ask any questions.

[Storm Bride]

I have nothing useful to add, but had to respond to this:

Originally Posted by jwhispers

Its a gradual process that can occur anytime from birth to puberty so you may never know when it happens (but he should know it will) or if it happens early enough, everyone will know about it and get to see it [if you're not careful] as it will be his favorite trick.

:::

DS1 presumably retracted quite late, as I have no idea when it happened (he's 16, so I assume that it has). DS2, otoh, was quite early, and is incredibly proud of his ability to demonstrate the "inside" of his penis...incredibly proud. Honestly, he's so excited about his ability to do this, that I feel like a killjoy even asking him to play privately...

[tutucrazy]

Always remind doctors/care providers not to manipulate your son's foreskin in anyway, shape, or form. There is no reason for them to even touch his penis. The biggest danger to an intact boy is forcible retraction so you will need to be very careful that everyone who may care for/examine him knows not to try to retract for any reason. It is best to remind the doctor BEFORE the diaper comes off during exams. This might sound like over-kill but it is really not, many US doctors will ignorantly try to retract. They don't receive any training about foreskin development.

Take some time to read these:

Protect your Intact Son:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...uncircson.html

Your Intact Boy:
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet4.html

AAP Care Guidelines:
www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

Development of a Retractable foreskin in Child/Adolescent (this explains retraction):
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...kinleaflet.pdf

Forcible Retraction:
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet6.html

If poop gets on the penis you can wipe like a finger, from base to tip. You don't wipe after urination this is totally unnecessary and could disturb the natural flora.

In the bath you just swish in the water. With both boys and girls you want to avoid bubble baths and soaking in soapy water. This can irritate genitals and cause flora imbalance. I always apply the baby wash to my son last after he has finished playing and then rinse him immediately. Never apply soaps directly to your child's genitals.

This is not foreskin related but good to know:
For both boys and girls yeast infections can happen during the diaper wearing years or after a round of antibiotics. This is has nothing to do with his foreskin but I thought I would address it anyway. Yeast is easily treated with an OTC anti-fungal or prescription anti-fungal. To avoid yeast infections you should always have give your child probiotics during and for one week after a round of antibiotics. You can get probiotic supplements from the pediatrician or from a health food store. They have some especially formulated for infants and babies. Probiotics are just healthy bacteria. Also, if you choose to cloth diaper you will want to strip your diapers with vinegar and hang them to dry in the sunlight if you ever get diaper yeast (thrush). Yeast can be quite hard to remove from cloth diapers. You will want to use sposies until the yeast on your baby is treated and all the diapers have been stripped.

Development of the intact boy:
During childhood/adolescence your son will go through a normal separation process as the foreskin separates from the glans. The foreskin is fused during childhood to protect the developing penis from feces and other pathogens. Separation is different for each boy and happens at a different age for each boy. During this time he might experience some irritation, itching, stinging, minor redness, minor swelling, ballooning, spraying, smegma pearls, uneven retraction, etc. These are all totally NORMAL and resolve by themselves. We get a lot of concerned parents come here asking about their son's irritated or slightly inflamed penis. 97% of the time it is just normal separation occurring. Some boys don't experience any of this but most boys have 1 of these symptoms at some point. Unless it gets increasingly worse, extremely inflamed, he has fever, or you suspect yeast there is nothing to worry about. Bacterial infections are VERY rare! Usually the symptoms of separation resolve themselves within 48 hours. Due to the fact that US doctors know very little about the development of the intact boy, it is wise to wait it out and let this resolve on its own..

Here is a helpful thread about separation:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=764732?

Remember that just b/c the foreskin has separated from the glans does NOT mean that anyone should try to retract your son. The opening of the foreskin remains very narrow and widens with sexual maturity. A foreskin only becomes retractable after the foreskin has separated and the opening has widened. Hormones play a big role in the widening process. These hormones replace the fiberous tissue with a more elasticy tissue. Through self-discovery your son will learn when he is retractable. Only 50% of boys are retractable by age 10. It is normal for a boy to not become retractable until after puberty. The only person to retract a boy should be the boy himself. Once a boy/man is retractable he can retract, rinse with water only, and replace the foreskin back over the glans during his showers. Easy as that.

[eepster]

Reading this is a good idea too.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...uncircson.html

[mysticmomma]

I just wanted to add that "manipulate" is a better word when instructing other care givers or doctors. Many people think retract ONLY means pulling the foreskin all the way back. So, I always say "do not manipulate his foreskin in anyway."

[Treece]

Originally Posted by mysticmomma

I just wanted to add that "manipulate" is a better word when instructing other care givers or doctors. Many people think retract ONLY means pulling the foreskin all the way back. So, I always say "do not manipulate his foreskin in anyway."

Good idea.

Also, print up a copy of the Intact Care Agreement. I edited mine to fit our needs. I don't have a link.............oops