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"Birth Day" makes me mad! - Page 2

post #21 of 38
mmmmmmm... these birth shows are VERY bothersome to me too! Doesn't it seem apparent that if women who have no other idea of how birth would go are shown more natural, beautiful births that some of the "emergency" births would never exist?! crazy media/medstaff.

We do have a friend, though, who was recounting her first birth the day after she delivered a few yrs ago (in a hospital w/ a modern doc) & said that "if it weren't for my awesome doctor finally yelling at me to PUSH, THIS ISN"T ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT THIS BABY & YOU HAVE TO PUSH RIGHT NOW! I would still be in labor! haha"
she was totally serious & her husband was equally impressed by this awesome doc & staff - just delivered their 2nd baby with the same doc & hospital. Sad b'c I know what she's missing, but I'm happy thta they REALLY loved their birth this time too - in the end that's all that matters I know.

Seems as if some women need that type of treatment in childbirth. I mean, they don't NEED it of course, but they're programmed to expect it & wait for IT to give them the strength & conficence that is already there. Can't wait for the day when the majority of women have reclaimed their divine strength & ability in the birthing category. My sis is honestly Ms. Independant Woman, but for her birth, she's planning modern hospital all the way, maybe even a pre-scheduled cesarian & she hasn't been told of any health risks, I sooo don't understand that at all. I know it's her body, etc... but isn't vag birth better for the baby? dunno, i'm kind of new to this.. She's already calculated that she'll breastfeed for six months exactly as well. mmmmmmm... At least the media is now sort of promoting breastfeeding for six months, so it's going more mainstream as far as I know. Crazy how much people pay attention to the media isn't it???

Sidenote... I also have a BIL who finished his residency in a maternity ward, was contemplating going into permanently... after being around the docs & staff during several deliveries, he's now focussing on homeopathic medicine & adolescent psych.
post #22 of 38
Originally posted by EmmaJean
No, No, no, Jane.... Their FIRST baby died at 37 wks, so they decided to deliver the second at 37 wks and took that one away minutes after birth for assessment.

I have seen a MW or two where a very premature baby or one with other severe complications dies. Very very sad, and I can't believe these families go through it with a camera crew taping everything. Why????

Anyway, does that clear things up for you, Jane?
Whew! Got it!
post #23 of 38
I saw one of those shows where the Mum was groaning (not screaming) whilst pushing and the nurses told her to be quiet. her husband then held her lips shut .

I couldn't believe it, I was shouting "Just headbut the ****er!". What an awful thing to do. She was so focused on what she was doing that it didn't seem to phase her but if my DH did anything like that ...... . Not that he would, as I told him about the programme and he was appalled.
post #24 of 38
Prior to my births, not at the last minute, my homebirth midwives suggested I not scream. Low moaning, and a relaxed mouth was more conducive to effective birthing.
post #25 of 38
That is true -- sometimes. I think it's a common misconception -- I think it started with Lamaze and was then promoted in the homebirth movement by Ina May Gaskin in Spirital Midwifery -- that low noises equal release and non-resistance to the body, and that high noises equal tenseness and fighting the body.

But actually, making loud, high-piched noises -- if that is what the mother feels compelled to do -- can release tension and therefore facilitate efficient birth. During my first labor, the midwife was constantly on me not to make certain noises, not to scrunch up my face, etc. This was, however, so contrary to what I felt like doing that it was a huge effort to even attempt it and the result was that I became more tense than I was to begin with, and that did not make for an efficient birth process. It was an extremely inefficient birth process.

For my next two births I allowed myself to respond to the pain instinctively and spontaneously -- which included making a LOT of noise, ranging from deep moans to high-pitched wails and roars. Those were two extremely efficient births -- each time the pushing phase was under ten minutes, and the baby was born easily and with no perineal trauma whatsoever. Of course, there were other things that contributed to that, my point is just that the noises I was making did not hinder that, they actually helped me throuw myself with no resistance into the labor.
post #26 of 38
arthead, you brought up some really good points, specifically that these shows are teaching women how to birth and what to expect.

I think of myself....

Way back when I was a 10-year-old girl and my mom told me that doctors deliver babies, I remember my irritation and dissapointment when I realized that I wouldn't be the first to touch my baby.

Flash-forward to seeing post-partum hosptial pictures of the first baby born to a cousin of mine, and I was so STUNNED--there was an IV in her hand! WHAT? I thought she was just having a baby!

But soon, as I became pregnant with my first baby and packed in the knowlege offered by Birth Day, A Baby Story, Maternity Ward, and Labor and Delivery, all of those interventions and procedures seemed completely appropriate.

Therefore, when I was almost 39 weeks with baby #1 and my gold-chain wearing OB (why do all male OBs wear gold chains? what's up with that!? :LOL ) suggested elective induction for this coming Wednesday, his surgery day, I jumped at the option...

...because these shows taught me that basically you're GOING to get IV Pit, an epi, and maybe a c/sec (but hopefully just an episiotomy). They're going to mash blue paper 'blankets' on your newborn baby to wipe it off, they're going to hoist your legs into padded ski-boot stirrups, and hopefully, you'll know how to push properly, taking notes while watching the shows during your pregnancy.

There is such a g u l f between what we here in Happy MDC Land think of about birth, and how most American women percieve birth.

Honestly, in that sense, and in light of the junk you see on TV, how 'stupid' is a scheduled c/sec? In some ways, it is the most empowered choice a woman shackled to this disgusting system of obstetrical care can hope for--she can help pick the DAY...because she's sure as h-e-double hockey sticks not going to be part of making any other birthing choices during the labor process.

Women just don't know that birthing is not a nightmare, because it has been a nightmare for women in this country for too long (our mothers and grandmothers.)

UGH.......back to a more OP rant...

I think one could make quite an effective argument saying that because of the 'birthing' junk seen on TV, it is indeed warping the minds of American women. And to be fair, I do praise A Baby Story for showing waterbirths, birth center births (yes, even with that slightly annoying hispanic MW who gives mamas a pushing lecture during transition) and homebirths--but sadly, that's just a small percetage and there is none of that on Birth Day, Maternity Ward, and Labor and Delivery, of course.

Blueviolet, I think I'm inspired by your idea to archive a few epidsodes for posterity...to show my own babes in the future, and to show any pregnant mamas who wander into my Devious Web of Natural Birthing Information.
post #27 of 38
Totally OT

A friend of mine didn't have a gold chain wearing OB but his name was Dr. Cassanova and he was exceedingly handsome and pretty much let her have the birth she wanted, albeit in the hospital.

I get such a kick out of an OB/GYN named Dr. Cassanova. :heartbeart

Or a proctologist named Richard Chop. :LOL
post #28 of 38
Okay, I watched this again today (A Baby Story). Both were C-sections. The first woman went in and was at 2cm. She and her dh walked the hallway for a short amount of time, and then she was at 4cm. The doc then decided to break her waters because, and I quote, "It will just make everything quicker and easier." Then of course contractions got too painful so she asked for an epidural. Then the baby was in a bad position (they didn't specify how, but it wasn't breech because the head was down), so they tried forceps. That didn't work so they did a c-section.

Okay, does it occur to anyone else that if they hadn't broken her bag of waters that the baby might have been more likely to switch positions? Not once did anyone encourage her to get up out of bed and try switching positions herself to get the baby to turn.

I felt so bad for this woman. This was her first pregnancy, so of course all her subsequent pregnances will have to be C-sections because so few docs will "allow" VBACs.

I love the ones that show watebirths or homebirths. Unfortunately, they are so few and far between, and I only get to watch when I'm sick in bed (like today), so I rarely see them. I wish someone would produce a show just like A Baby Story but with solely non-intervention births. I think they would do great ratings wise - I mean, come on, a woman screaming in pain is a lot more dramatic to watch than one who is composed and quiet!

Please know that I am not knocking any of the specific interventions - I think they are all important to have and can be quite lifesaving when used appropriately. But like some of the previous posters have mentioned, it really bugs me that these shows teach the idea that birth must be so incredibly medicalized.
post #29 of 38
When I was in labor with my dd, I screamed...quite a bit (hehehe), it was my way of dealing with the pain. Well after a pretty loud yell a nurse(there were many, many people in my delivery room because of my dd's prematurity~she was a 32 weeker~) tells me that it will go by faster if I hold my breath. She was "politely" telling me to shut up. It didn't work, I still screamed. With my second delivery (both my babies were born in a hospital...) I was screaming, again to deal with the pain...BUT...my ob was screaming right back at me to push.....not once did he tell me to shut up (((((and I called him some pretty "creative" names))).
post #30 of 38
I don't get the discovery health channel anymore but I sometimes watched those shows. I liked birth day the LEAST the narrator drove me nuts :LOL. And they never showed positive home births or anything like baby story at least sometimes does.

I agree with everyone that said the docs do more since the cameras are rolling. What is wrong with showing a normal birth that the mom has control of and doesn't get pain meds, an episiotomy and pushes not lying down?? What is it not exciting enough, this isn't an action drama docs geesh!

I feel bad for those mamas who don't know any better and really think that is what birth has to be .

I did have a nurse during my first labor tell me make noise if it makes you feel better but to get enough energy and oxygen it's better not to. But she was very nice about it and didn't tell me to shut up and push kwim? I actually did take her advice and felt better not hollering in that delivery but did hollar a bit with my second, and not as much with my third. I did what I wanted and I pushed them all out in about the same amount of time so not sure if it does matter much or not.

So many people thought I was nuts for bypassing the epidural and all pain meds all 3 times, I'm glad here at least I know I'm not a nutjob :LOL.

Dh had a vasectomy so I'm not planning more kids but if it flunks and I do get pregnant I want a homebirth. They don't usually allow that where I live (on a military base) but I would just not go to the hospital and tell them the baby came too fast .
post #31 of 38

they told me to stop screaming

I remember the show you're talking about (the screamer with the twins). I remember thinking "dang, I'd be screaming louder than that...."

Which I did. I wasn't having twins, but it just felt *better* to scream. And at some point, the nurse told me to stop. I felt so embarassed, I kept aplogizing to everyone in the room for all the noise I was making. A couple of times I even asked if it was "ok if I yelled for a bit?". Looking back I'm really angry at the nurses for turning my birth experience into a 'feeling of shame' (if that makes any sense?). I've been spending some time trying to reframe it, cuz dag nabbit I should be proud of myself for my unmedicated birth!!!

Ok, now I'm about to cry
post #32 of 38
I probably shouldn't respond to this thread because the 'reality' of birth in North America makes me so darned MAD. I mean really maaaddddd. I used to be an L&D RN working in those hospitals, and it almost killed me. I felt like I was part of the brutality team even though I was like a lioness at the doors of the women I was assisting, trying to stave off Dr Intervention at every turn. Talk about a conflict - homebirth advocate trying to advocate for women who a) were clueless about their strengths (but who were SO EMPOWERED when they discovered them!!! That was a cool part of the work when we could pull it off!), and b) wanted as natural a birth as possible (some of those births were inspiring, too, despite the hospital setting) all within the warped N. American Institutional Culture of birth. Anyway, I sure was the odd one out among my colleagues and it was so exhausting. Those tv shows really capture the truth of it, though. I'll never forget walking down the hall of the first University Hospital I ever worked in, way down south in the USA...a bunch of women drugged out in labour and The Price is Right blaring down the hall - what a spiritual transition; the absurdity of it made me want to cry.

Now for the sad part...fast forward to my own homebirth 5 years later, after I had escaped the hospital. All systems in place - midwives, supportive husband, good health, peace in my heart, confidence in my ability to birth...but my Baby didn't fit through my pelvis - and I mean DID NOT FIT (read 6+ hours of pushing). Oh, I can see the eye-rolling now...sure, sure, CPD, eh? Ah, but this truly was . I ended up with one of those hospital births - forceps and a c/s!!! OY-Vey! Surreal to say the least. And I am currently a month away from the birth of my second child...by VBAC? Gonna give it my best shot!! Wish me luck or whatever it is I need !

Thanks for the thread - it was cathartic.
post #33 of 38
I saw a hombirth and a few birth center births on the birth days show...but for the most part its just like..pitocin..epidural..episiotomy..NICU...
I stopped watching after deciding to do a homebirth......
post #34 of 38
These shows are all the reason why we here need to talk to and educate other women...where ever and when ever we can.

BTW there is an orthopedic surgeon in this area named Dr Bonebreak.
post #35 of 38
Ugh you know who the narrators voice is for Birth Day?
Its that dippy blond shes on the soap All My Children and on that morning talk show with Regis? Why cant I remember her name? And she had two c-sec, so "everything down there is OK" that twit.

My SIL has a doctor called Dr. Blood, CREEPY
post #36 of 38
Originally posted by noodle4u
Ugh you know who the narrators voice is for Birth Day?
Its that dippy blond shes on the soap All My Children and on that morning talk show with Regis? Why cant I remember her name? And she had two c-sec, so "everything down there is OK" that twit.

My SIL has a doctor called Dr. Blood, CREEPY
Kella Rippa? I never would have placed that voice with her...weird.
post #37 of 38
I'm a baby story junkie. I haven't had cable for a couple of years, so I haven't seen it much, but no matter the setting, I always cry when the baby comes out. Funny, watching the baby story actually turned me to natural birth. I got some ideas from the natural births I saw on there. I had my 1st with epi, 2nd without, 3rd, no drug waterbirth. Next one will be a homebirth. It didn't take me long to notice how much more special and spiritual the natural and homebirths were. So, the show at least turned one person down the right birthing road.
post #38 of 38
something I noticed actually...

yesterday A Baby Story was running at the same time as another birthing show and we were switching back and forth.

As we're watching the Baby Story mom get bulldozed with drugs and get told "No you can't eat or drink" and be strapped into her bed.... we watched the OTHER show...where the women attending the birth were all about waiting for the mom to be ready, letting her walk around to deal with her contractions, making sure she had enough to eat and drink, talking about her care prior to the birth......

It was Thats My Baby.....if you don't know it, it's a animal birthing show. We watched a great dane give birth and it was pretty awsome. But it just struck me that it was a thing of PRIDE for the owner to take such good and proper care of her dog during birth and do all the things for her you SHOULD be doing for a human...and yet the human on the other show was being put in a yucky position. Weird.
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