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WWYD if your nanny did this? - Page 3

post #41 of 64
if i were you i'd make it the new cool thing to take baths in the morning

the boundaries issue is honestly not as big a deal IMO as the possibility that the parents will take it as a suggestion that they're neglectful and get angry or offended.

i know someone whose kids are always, well, grody. just like you're describing. it's honestly a bit of a red flag to me--even tho she obviously loves her kids, it's like some people just never got the memo on things like personal hygiene i don't have a clue about what to do about it either
post #42 of 64
Since you're their FT care provider, I say throw them in the tub. If you were an off-and-on sitter, I would say ask first. From what you've described, you're these kids only hope. It sounds really sad.

When I used to babysit as a teen, I had 2 families who didn't like the idea of bathing their kids. I thought it was part of the deal--dinner, bath, stories, bed. *shrugs* I just did it w/o asking (and w/o thinking) and the 2 families didn't like it. The kids needed a bath in these incidents too--we'd been playing in the heat all day and the kids were stinky and dirty. I thought it was a no brainer to throw them in the tub. I learned to ask future families before they left for the evening.
post #43 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
Since you're their FT care provider, I say throw them in the tub. If you were an off-and-on sitter, I would say ask first. From what you've described, you're these kids only hope. It sounds really sad.

DITTO.


We have a nanny and it never occurred to me that she wouldn't bathe them if she thought they needed a bath. I would be horrified if i found out that she thought they were dirty and didn't bathe them because her worrying about me being offended!
post #44 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
Since you're their FT care provider, I say throw them in the tub. If you were an off-and-on sitter, I would say ask first. From what you've described, you're these kids only hope. It sounds really sad.
Agreed. We have a nanny, and she does give our kids their afternoon bath. I also would find it odd if she saw the kids were dirty and did NOT give them a bath.

It sounds like you are the one who is going to bring some order to this household, so I would go ahead and do it. The parents will probably love you for it. They don't seem like the type of people who will get offended.
post #45 of 64
My littlest almost always gets morning baths nowadays so I'd just toss them in the tub before you dress them. I don't see why the mom would care? But you probably ought to clear it with her first since some people here have said that that would bother them. For one, if they're in yesterday's clothes it's obvious that they haven't been bathed the night before. So just say "well, I know you guys are so busy at night would it make it easier if I gave them baths a couple times a week? They like the tub and it's fun for them anyway and gives us another activity during the day." It's hard because you don't want to come across as critical. But when I babysat I used to give baths to the kids, so I don't think it's a big deal.

I must add that my youngest doesnt' get a ton of baths either, probably 2 to 3 per week, more if he gets actually dirty. I'll wipe his face off after breakfast in teh AM and then again later if he needs it. So I'm not grossed out by 3 days without baths. My older children do their own bathing (showers.)
post #46 of 64
ASK FIRST!!!

We were on the opposite side of that situation, the nanny went ahead and bathed our child for no reason (her reasoning was that she always bathes all the kids in the afternoon ) and we were VERY uncomfortable that a provider decided to do that without asking us first. If i would have been approached about it first and told 'oh my routine is to give the children a bath in the afternoon' I would have still said no, but then I wouldn't have felt like something hinky was going on. I wouldn't think that it would be too much of an issue in your situation though b/c it sounds like you can let them know that they got dirty and give them a bath.
post #47 of 64
I vote for asking first. I'd be willing to be that the parents would be okay with it. As a nanny, I'd be willing to bathe the kids, especially if they smelled enough that it were bothering me. I did mind however when I was nannying for a little boy who would not let me put him down. I considered adding surcharge for each hour that I wore him. Do you feel that its not adding undue responsibility on you if you do bathe them?

To the poster who gives irregular baths, I'm another one. Sometimes its every 2-3 days, sometimes more. Washing hair or using soap is rarer with the two year old but getting more frequent as he gets into more messy things on a regular basis. In our house, bathtime is more about playing in water than actually getting clean. I seriously only wash his hair when it starts to smell like it needs to be washed or starts getting oily looking.
post #48 of 64
I think you should protect yourself by talking to them about their expectations regarding baths. They may have thought that this was something that you would have responsibility for.
post #49 of 64
I would have no issue with a trusted care provider bathing my kids. As a teen sitter, I used to give baths before bed all the time. Sometimes the parents indicated it, sometimes the kids asked, sometimes they were dirty from outside and I just took initiative.

Basically, if I'm trusting you to watch over and care for my kids - why would I have an issue with you washing them up in the tub or shower? YMMV, but that's my opinion.
post #50 of 64
I'd ask first, but it definitely sounds like they need a bath.

Like many other posters (including the OP, I believe), it's not really the infrequency of bathing that bugs me about this. It's the overall lack of hygiene. I don't give my kids baths that often, but they certainly get washed if they have food in their hair or are developing rashes and itches, or if they smell! That sounds really gross. The whole situation actually sounds kind of bizarre. What's the dad like?
post #51 of 64
So, are the sleeping in the clothes from the previous day?

I think these parents need some help. But DEFINITELY ask first before you give them baths.
post #52 of 64
Yep, ask first.
post #53 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
You are not the only one!

and I would be way weirded out if my nanny gave my child a bath!
Can I ask why?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoOnFiReGlOw View Post
ASK FIRST!!!

We were on the opposite side of that situation, the nanny went ahead and bathed our child for no reason (her reasoning was that she always bathes all the kids in the afternoon ) and we were VERY uncomfortable that a provider decided to do that without asking us first. If i would have been approached about it first and told 'oh my routine is to give the children a bath in the afternoon' I would have still said no, but then I wouldn't have felt like something hinky was going on. I wouldn't think that it would be too much of an issue in your situation though b/c it sounds like you can let them know that they got dirty and give them a bath.
I am curious about this only because I can't imagine letting someone be alone with my kids if I was weirded out by the thought of that person bathing them?

I had to bathe the children I watched pretty frequently. A day spent playing outside, in the kiddie pool, building mud monsters... it kind of had to lead to a bath, otherwise I would have felt like a bad care provider returning filthy children.
post #54 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoOnFiReGlOw View Post
We were on the opposite side of that situation, the nanny went ahead and bathed our child for no reason (her reasoning was that she always bathes all the kids in the afternoon ) and we were VERY uncomfortable that a provider decided to do that without asking us first.
and

Quote:
Can I ask why? (snip) I am curious about this only because I can't imagine letting someone be alone with my kids if I was weirded out by the thought of that person bathing them?
I would have been really annoyed that a nanny was imposing *her* routine on *my* children. I expect my nanny to follow my routine, baring special circumstances, of course (and really muddy kids would definitely be a special circumstance). So I would expect a nanny to ask before varying any basic routine. Of course, in this situation it sounds like there might not actually be a routine, but I still think its good to ask before making any significant change in a household's routine. But it can definitely be done
post #55 of 64
I can definitely see having a problem with a bath "just because" it's what she does at that time during the day, I was thinking more about if the kids needed it for some reason. Like in my case where during the warmer months we had so much fun outdoor play that the kids literally had mud caked in their hair frequently... no way could I have let them stay like that for their parents to clean up after, kwim?
post #56 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerieshadow View Post
I can definitely see having a problem with a bath "just because" it's what she does at that time during the day, I was thinking more about if the kids needed it for some reason. Like in my case where during the warmer months we had so much fun outdoor play that the kids literally had mud caked in their hair frequently... no way could I have let them stay like that for their parents to clean up after, kwim?
I agree -- I would be frustrated if a nanny didn't make sure they were clean after some serious messy play. But that isn't the situation here -- this is a change in routine and thus should be cleared with parents.
post #57 of 64
So . . . did you ask? Are you watching clean kids now?

Bathtime was one of my tools for surviving the toddler years. When my kids were little, that was the most peaceful time of the day. Especially with ds. He loved to play with bath toys, and I could sit in one spot and keep an eye on him.

If wouldn't have any problem with a nanny giving my kids a bath.
post #58 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
You are not the only one!

and I would be way weirded out if my nanny gave my child a bath!
I don't have a nanny - but if I had one then (s)he should ask first. The issue is the level of supervision during bath time - I would want to be clear with the nanny about what my expectations are. I am not sure how it would work with 4 kids, since not all 4 would be in the tub at the same time.
post #59 of 64
Particularly since they've said, "don't care, don't care, don't care," I'd say better to ask forgiveness than permission (so you don't seem judgmental). I'd just give them a bath and then mention it that afternoon with a very gentle, "Hope that's okay?"

I'd be willing to bet it would be.

And, I'm of the mind, like others, that if I wouldn't trust someone to give dd a bath, I wouldn't trust them to change her diaper: much more potential "suspicious" behavior possible in that situation than in a bath, right? And it just makes me ill to even think about any of that being perceived as weird.
post #60 of 64
When I was a nanny, I was in charge of their nightly bath.

Those kids are being neglected by their parents. I would tell them that you will have the kids bathed by the time they get home from work. I wouldn't mention that it is because they are being negligent in doing it themselves.

Sorry, but having 3 kids doesn't mean that you can neglect them.
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