Do you ever just want to chuck it all and quit?!

[crissei]

Not seriously of course, but I am suffering from major homestead burn-out! Anyone else?
How do you deal with it without running to the nearest suburb with your tail between your legs?
I always feel so exhausted trying to manage my house (which is a fixer-upper, and a PITA on it's own) my kids, my finances (which are limited) while simultaneously trying to manage the existence of every animal and plant around me.

[MamaMonica]

We're not exactly homesteading but live in the country and once in awhile I want to chuck it all and move to a condo in San Diego.

[Sihaya]

We're "starting slow" and I still totally feel you! The house is falling down around us (no hot water, extremely poor insulation, leaky basement, on and on) and it's only 25 years old, not a 150yo farm house or anything. And life just keeps getting in the way of what we thought were simple, easy plans to get started - chickens and a garden.

Days like today, when I need to get a chicken tractor and raised beds both built ASAP, I still haven't gotten all my seeds started indoors and have no place to put them when I do, and the day's plan includes boiling gallons and gallons of water on the stove just so I can wash two dozen diapers, I'm totally ready to go back to our little one-bedroom apartment in the suburbs.

No advice, but plenty of commisseration here

[Sasha_girl]

: Oh, yeah, I battle those feelings sometimes. Sometimes the challenge is nice (we do have that 150 year old farmhouse. We do have hot water but all other 150 year old farmhouse challenges apply) and it feels like we're plugging away on projects. I remind myself that it's a process, a goal that will never actually be reached and that's okay.

But then there are days where I'm barely holding things together at the seams, the challenges seem insurmountable, and I'm wondering what in the hell I'm doing. I'm not cut out for the condo in San Diego but everything seems wrong as a farm girl. Those are moments of fairly crushing despair and that's hard.

[UUMom]

The animal part is the treat for me (except when it's snowing ). But we bought an older, smaller farmhouse, and sometimes I wish for my old house. On this property. lol It's a pita not having certain lovely amenities. I miss my perfect kitchen and pretty tile, I miss my hot tub. I miss the mature plantings that we put in and only needed to add to. Pretty much everything needs to be done here and it does get stressful. And I hate some of the stupid stuff the previous owners did. I don't like that negative energy...but OMG, their half assed ways are frustrating to repair.

[sunnylady303]

Originally Posted by UUMom

And I hate some of the stupid stuff the previous owners did. I don't like that negative energy...but OMG, their half assed ways are frustrating to repair.

: I have not had many days where I want to chuck it. But I do have to constantly remind myself that this is a journey and not somewhere where it's all going to get done and then that's it. We still don't have transplants started we need to (like peppers!), no herbs started and I REALLY wanted an herb garden this year, 30 berry bushes sitting in a box that need to be planted right away, onion sets that are a month overdue to be planted and seriously sprouting, a chicken run to fence because the chicks are ready for it NOW, a backyard fence to fix so the dogs won't get out and eat the chickens, a dog shelter to put up in the orchard so the d*mn deer will stop eating the fruit trees, a chicken tractor to get done because more chicks will be here next week, pea trellises that need to get up now, a barn roof that is falling down and needs to get fixed desperately, garden needs to be weeded already...on and on. It all needs to be done now. Plus we both work full time and have two little kiddos.
And I'm dealing with a 10 year old house that has big issues because the two guys who built it took some major shortcuts. The kitchen floor has to be either re-grouted or pulled up and something else put down. Drywall has to be replaced, carpet needs to be pulled up because they smoked like crazy and youngest DD is severely asthmatic...on and on again.
So I feel you. And I am grateful for a chance to vent to some ladies who get it!

[stretchmark]

I did kind of chuck it all. I moved into town and got a nice little house. I am much happier and have time for things like writing and taking long baths.
We were starting our 7th year of construction and had goats, chicks, ducks, cats, kids. It was all too much and actually turned out to be not quite in line with who I really am but thought I wanted to be.
I have set my sights on a life that works better for me and am going for it full on.
I have no tips on how to deal with those feelings. For me, it was getting real and getting out.

[UUMom]

I don't think I'll ever move. It's just too pretty here, and I am near the ocean. I might cut down on the animals at some point but right now it's too interesting. I love going out and seeing how much progress we've made. It' so incredibly satisfying and i feel that I am always learning something new. That's also exciting. And I keep trying to forgive the previous owners and their lack of planning.

[2bluefish]

The only time I ever came close to feeling that way was when I was pregnant this last time. When I got to the end, I was really tired of feeding animals and milking goats. But usually it's the best part of my day. I dream sometimes of forgetting the homeschool dream and sending the kids to public school, so I could spend all day on farm stuff. But I won't do it. We don't have the old house stuff to deal with though. We started with fresh property and set a brand new mobile home. I'm super sensitive to vibes people leave behind. Anytime we have lived in a previously owned home, I have had trouble getting comfortable.

[crissei]

Thank you everyone! It really helps to know that someone understands.
I wish people in the homesteading community would be more open about how stressful the lifestyle can be.
I don't plan on ever really getting out. I honestly can't imagine being happy doing anything else, but I do sometimes curse my 'need' to do it.
Thanks for listening,
Crissei

[sunshine13]

:

Originally Posted by crissei

Not seriously of course, but I am suffering from major homestead burn-out! Anyone else?
How do you deal with it without running to the nearest suburb with your tail between your legs?
I always feel so exhausted trying to manage my house (which is a fixer-upper, and a PITA on it's own) my kids, my finances (which are limited) while simultaneously trying to manage the existence of every animal and plant around me.

Please don't fret,you truly have a blessed life.At times the road is ruff but look at the reward you have at the end of the day.Some of us,dreams of a life much simplier.How did you apptain some much knowledge about homesteading.Even if my husband and I could afford a farm.I wouldn't even know where to started.Have a great day!:

[Twwly]

I don't feel that way, but we are pretty good about pacing ourselves. One thing at a time, adding in new stuff slowly. If you are feeling overwhelmed, prioritize your tasks/burdens, see what you can cut out maybe? Like don't do lambs, just do chickens or whatever?

[Angie3]

Don't Give Up!

I've been there - don't give up. It's worse in the city. In some ways I miss the hustle and bustle, but those commute's - there's got to be a better way. Best of luck.

[isras1]

Hi. I am new to this discussion group, been a lurker for awhile. We live in semi-rural AK and I love it!

To sunnylady- I have a tip for one of the items in your to-do-list. I've done a weed-free garden plan = heaven on earth!

I use leaf mulch (others use old barn hay, newspaper, bark/tree mulch). If you have lots of trees on your property, save the leaves. By Spring they will have condensed to a fine mulch that does a great job both feeding your soil and keeping your garden weed free. I spread it all over the garden, a few inches thick. A great book: Weedless Gardening by Lee Reich
HTH

[saintmom]

Spring is usually my time to want to chuck it all and move to the burbs.There's too much to do with the garden,critters,house, and kids.It's also one of the most beautiful times of the year.
Moving isn't an option, so I try to just plan my day,doing one thing at a time, getting done what I can.I try to remember that nature doesn't demand perfection.Vegetables can still grow and produce as long as they're bigger than the weeds.My house doesn't have to be perfect,just clean and comfortable.Compost still rots whether or not you've turned the pile.

[crissei]

Originally Posted by saintmom

Spring is usually my time to want to chuck it all and move to the burbs.There's too much to do with the garden,critters,house, and kids.It's also one of the most beautiful times of the year.
Moving isn't an option, so I try to just plan my day,doing one thing at a time, getting done what I can.I try to remember that nature doesn't demand perfection.Vegetables can still grow and produce as long as they're bigger than the weeds.My house doesn't have to be perfect,just clean and comfortable.Compost still rots whether or not you've turned the pile.

So true about the beauty, I think the leaves finally coming out is saving my sanity. I feel so overwhelmed in spring, it comes so much faster than we can keep up with. I finally felt like I had a decent routine going last year, but with the new LO I have to start from scratch.

One of the big things I know I have a problem with is comparing myself to others that don't homestead. I'm working on it.

[*~Danielle~*]

Originally Posted by stretchmark

I did kind of chuck it all. I moved into town and got a nice little house. I am much happier and have time for things like writing and taking long baths.
We were starting our 7th year of construction and had goats, chicks, ducks, cats, kids. It was all too much and actually turned out to be not quite in line with who I really am but thought I wanted to be.
I have set my sights on a life that works better for me and am going for it full on.
I have no tips on how to deal with those feelings. For me, it was getting real and getting out.

I don't want to move, but I did sell all my goats one week ago and I feel like a free woman. I still have tons of duties, but had to just accept the fact that I cannot do it all! I have a newborn and little ones that need me more than goats, and I was spending way too much time trying to make the goat situation work, and ignoring what is most dear to me. So I agree with "getting real" with yourself and seeing what is important to you and what do you want to do and what is realistic for this time in your life. No sense in being totally stressed out all the time. I'm much happier now!

[annethcz]

I think that knowing your limits and being honest with yourself is really important. Since moving to the country, I've discovered that I'm not exactly who I thought I was, but that's okay. For awhile, I was striving so hard towards self-sufficiency. I've cut back on my goals, because I was driving myself crazy.

This is going to sound silly, but for me a big turning point was when I decided that I just wasn't ready for a milk animal. Although I still think that it would be great theoretically, the reality of having to stick to a daily milking schedule just isn't going to work with the kind of lifestyle I want to live right now. Once I decided that I didn't have to do things that weren't compatible with my current lifestyle, I was happier.

[karne]

Usually no, but I have to admit, spring is kind of a mixed blessing here. It's the time I tend to feel overwhelmed. Inside house projects are still in progress, but outside projects have to be focused on. In about a minute the garden goes from tame to needing serious care. I never manage to get everything planted on time. In the midst of it, i lost most of my laying flock, so we're starting again. Have to remember to call the shearer.....Sigh. I wouldn't trade this for anything, but I have my moments.

[MamaMonica]

Originally Posted by annethcz

. I've cut back on my goals, because I was driving myself crazy.

This is going to sound silly, but for me a big turning point was when I decided that I just wasn't ready for a milk animal. Although I still think that it would be great theoretically, the reality of having to stick to a daily milking schedule just isn't going to work with the kind of lifestyle I want to live right now. Once I decided that I didn't have to do things that weren't compatible with my current lifestyle, I was happier.

That was a turning point for me, too-- suddenly I could have a cow if I wanted one and decided against it. It's good to constantly re-evaluate goals and let go of those that no longer fit.