How to address religion issues with dh

[Subliime]

In the past my dh and I have had conversations about religion and both agreed that some people need it so that they can have hope and usually those people are weaker than those who do not need it. Needless to say I do not feel that way anymore. I have gone from Catholic to Agnostic to Pagan to Agnostic to Christian again. I have pretty much come full circle on my spiritual journey and I feel like my faith is stronger because of that. I can actually say I am not Christian by default but by choice and because of how I feel when I speak to Jesus and read the Bible, etc...

My dh and I went to church together for the first time. The sermon was pretty much over "how do we know that Jesus was the Son of God" The pastor covered almost all of my questions and when we left my dh and I both felt like, "hey, this Jesus guy really is the Son of God!" We seemed to be on the same page. Anyhow, I don't feel like my dh is as strong in his beliefs as I am. I feel like all of our friends are kinda like, "well, that's what they want you to think so that they can control you" sort of thing. I don't know how to address this issue with my dh. I know that if he doesn't feel it he doesn't feel it but I feel like he thinks of me as a weaker person now for accepting Jesus. How should I approach this with him? He doesn't seem to want to talk about it.

[Bluegoat]

It sounds like your dh is feeling a bit confused, which is natural and not a bad thing. He may need some time to sort out his thoughts before he wants to talk about it much.

What was it in the sermon that made him think that Jesus is the Son of God?

I think there are many people in secular society that are actually really poorly educated about what Christians (and other religions) believe, and especially about WHY they believe it. As if all those Christians for the last 2000 years were not very bright people, with bad educations, and not much backbone. You only have to look at history briefly to see that that is not true. Being a Christian does not mean checking your brain at the door.

But your husband may also feel conflicted, as if he is becoming a person who has no brain, or that people, his friends, will see him that way.

There are some good, rational explanations of Christianity that may help put his mind at ease. My favorite for beginners is Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. But in a day or so maybe ask him what he is thinking and feeling and see what he says. I wouldn't put a lot of pressure on him now, it could very well backfire.

[TzippityDoulah]

you know it's so deeply sad that people think of religious people as weaker. I'm glad to see you not only realized this is an error in belief, but you were able to find a place of belief!

about your husband - it is important to remember each person has to come to Christ/ God on their own. it can not be forced, or persuaded or even argued and debated. I would be open and honest with him. but give him space. the best thing you can do for him is ot be a quiet prayerful wife who shows by example.

if he views you as weaker? well I don't know for sure. but it doesn't mean you are. just remmeber that you yourself you to believe this about other rleigious people... so it took you time to realize otherwise and it may take him time too.

[Mallori]

Anyhow, I don't feel like my dh is as strong in his beliefs as I am.

My husbands faith carried me when my faith was weak. As mine grows again, I become stronger, as does my husband and our marriage. It's just your turn to lead right now.

[wombatclay]

I have gone from Catholic to Agnostic to Pagan to Agnostic to Christian again.

It seems like you've been through a lot of changes and while you may feel like this journey has strengthened your faith, it may be that your DH feels like your current beliefs are just another step in the journey you are on? Is it possible he is just trying to be supportive and uderstanding without really having his own personal committment to this manifestation of your faith journey? Perhaps once he sees that you have found a true spiritual home he'll feel more confident in letting himself get more invested.

As for bringing it up... I don't know that you really need to as long as you feel like he is being respectful/supportive. He is on his own faith journey and he may find a deeper connection with your choosen faith as you model it for him. Or he may continue seeking. If it becomes a divisive element then I'd 100% want to address it. But if it's more of a feeling that he isn't as committed as you are... well... just model your faith and belief and accept him where he is now.

(but I should admit that I'm in a long term dual faith marriage and we've had our rough spots too... we eventually decided to attend a UU community so that our girls would have a unified spiritual community that didn't focus on a single path to spiritual/religious belief. so that's the bias I'm coming from.)